


The Irony of It All

by Hexworthy



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Injury, Lance fucks up in the first chapter but thats it, Lance has PKU, Langst, M/M, More tags latter, Pining, Uni AU, did not mean for all this angst, disasociation, friends to lovers to lovers who are rivals on court sorta, implied homophbia, keith plays squash, kinda major but nopt life threating, lance is an ex trampolinist, lance is now in therapy, mental health issues raised, other characters added in, squash shenanigans based on real life events, this is gonna be long
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-10-15 02:16:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 54,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10548352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hexworthy/pseuds/Hexworthy
Summary: Lance has a career ending injury  and Keith is a medical student who has a placement at his physio sessions, somehow they become friends as Lance recovers and finds out that life might just include Keith.





	1. Oops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok please bare with for the first 3 ish chapters - i promisse the writing gets better these were written during exam time and no excuse but eh. Also this is set in a UK uni - not sure where but its based on my experiences in a scottish one. So gratuitous uses of irn bru will be made. 
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: IVE ACTUALLY GONE BACK AND EDITED AFTER SO LONG OF THIS LIKE DAMN IM SORRY LIFES BEEN SHIT AND I HAVENT HAD THE HEAD SPACE TO WRITE FLUFF.

Lance had been playing sports as long as he could remember, he was a professional trampolinist, he had been so since the age of 8, when he first started to compete. He was also in uni studying astrophysics while training with the trampoline club and competing - Now it was over. He didn’t need to see the x-rays to know that his foot was fucked. It had been a simple training day in the middle of the season. He’d just placed in the last uni competition and it was two weeks till the next one, it was just a normal day and then it all went to shit. 

“Lance, after this don’t forget to go see Allura for that physio session!” Coran said cheerfully “you don’t want a repeat of two years ago!” Two years ago, he had fallen over at a zebra crossing over nothing and tore a ligament in his left ankle. He still went for physio sessions because as a gymnast things tended to get damaged and easily. One false move and there was a career gone. 

“You know which routine you’ll be practising next?” 

“Yeah the one with the triple back barani’s, then the double pike front from a front landing.” 

Coran was a brilliant coach, he had been training Lance since he started his 5 year masters and his uni was the top of the UK university leagues because of him and the medals he brought home. As well as Pidge for the girls teams, even though they were non binary, they still had to compete in the ladies category – which in this case meant more medals, but everyone who competed against them were terrified of them as the heights they could reach, despite their stature, was incredible. Pidge wondered over to help spot for Lances routine, it was an Elite routine and was designed to show the best and hardest skills at the greatest heights. It was a flawless routine, his toes were pointed when needed, he formed the shapes well and kept straight when he needed to be (the only time he was straight if he was being honest with himself) and all moves were clean. He just had to kill the bounce, a straight jump that was so bloody easy. The first thing he had learn when he had first got on a trampoline, a straight jump. How to control himself to help prevent this. 

The next thing he knew he was on the bed and every one at that training session was around him. Why was everyone looking at him like that? It wasn’t the first time he didn’t execute a prefect landing. He looked down as he made to get up and then saw his right foot and leg. “I’ve done worse before” Lance smiled, surprisingly, stubbing his toe in the kitchen had worse pain that what he should have felt in his foot. Maybe it was the adrenaline and shock but he wasn’t really surprised about this. This is coming from the guy who had fallen over nothing and had torn a ligament. “Pidge, get a first aider and get them to call for an ambulance, Lance, I need you to focus on me, it appears you may have damaged something. I’ll phone Allura and say you’re not gonna make it to your physio session today," commanded Coran as he pulled out his phone.

Lance could help but laugh, it was probably shock, but he had to admit the irony of it all was hilarious. He had fucked up on a straight jump, God he was an idiot. How was he gonna get home? He lived on the top floor of a Victorian building. He was in his fourth year and how the hell did he manage this bullfuckery. Hunk was gonna murder him and being an aerospace engineer meant they only had one class together. Well there's gonna be a load of carrying up and down the stairs from Hunk, Lance thought to himself: maybe Shay could take Lances bags, help him everywhere and keep him company in the library. 

During this trail of thought a first aider arrived and was surprised to see that Lance had automatically elevated his right foot and lower leg and was basically all smiles. It was a horrific injury where anyone could see all the displaced bone under the skin, he was made to drink some water and got comfy on the trampoline bed while waiting for the ambulance while Pidge and Coran made everyone else take down the other trampolines and tried to talk to Lance.

“You still better be able to make it to the uni robot wars, we’ll even make you the right leg, me and Matt. As long as you don’t prove our down fall.” Pidge laughed through it was very hesitant and forced, as though it was for their benefit just as much as Lance''s. He could tell already that they were more terrified than he was. He knew he’d have to go to the hospital but he’d been in them since birth really. Him and his PKU meant that hospital visits were inevitable. 

He was really glad of the UK’s NHS as treatment was free and at least his family back in Cuba and the States didn’t have to worry about the costs. As no one was immediate family, Lance got into the ambulance, he started to laugh to himself, ambu – Lance, wow adrenaline was a drug all of its own. Lance felt every pot hole there was on the road as he made his way to the A and E. as pain shot through his foot and leg, it was not a fun trip. The hospital wheelchair ride wasn’t any better as it was hell to get anywhere remotely comfy. He answered his details for the data entry at the reception and when asked what was wrong the paramedic who was helping Lance – who was a very cute blond haired tall guy, said multiple breaks at least. Having to spell phenylketonuria was fun, his doctors were gonna love him, because who wouldn’t? He was then wheeled away to the waiting area and was very happy to see Pidge running towards him with Coran following shortly afterwards. 

Pidge was also from the states and had been seated together on the nine hour flight to the UK, they’d started to talk and ended up being good friends, as most people on a nine hour flight do if they’re fortunate enough to have someone their age and complimentary personality and an insatiable need to gossip about Disney and science. When Pidge had said that she was going to the same uni he was, they had cemented their friendship in where the now saw each other as siblings. “Pidge, what happened then? Like how did I end up doing this?” He questioned. He was genuinely curious as he really doesn’t remember landing.

“Well up you landed the routine and on that last bounce you kinda rolled on your right foot and then the snaps ricocheted of the walls and you looked down at your foot. The force of you going down and the trampoline going up must have done all that. A normal fall after you’ve landed rarely does that. You actually ok? You look like you’re in shock.” There was none of the normal Pidge sarcasm, and that terrified Lance more, it must have been bad.

“Must be the pain killers kicking in, though I think I need some more water, it’s like being back in the sports hall in the summer with the heating on. Remember that Pidge? Yeah well that was worse.” With a weak smile they went to ask for some water or find one of the vending machines. 

“Thanks for that Lance, they’ve been worried about you. I’ve seen some injuries in my time but this is a whole new level and considering I coached the New Zealand world team, I’ve seen somethings.”

“I bet you have but, of course, you know me, go big or go home.”

“Seriously, tell someone of the pain starts and or gets worse. We will stay as long as needed and Pidge has called Hunk, he can’t get out of lectures right now but he will be here for the visiting hours tomorrow. Allura sends her best and has offered her services with your physio which you are gonna need.” Lance really did love his friends, his wonderful friends. 

“Looks like I fell for her again didn’t I?” 

“Lance, that was awful even by your standards.” And there was the Pidge that Lance knew and loved. 

“Glad to see you back Pidgeot”

“Still haven’t forgiven you for scaring me like that noodle arms”

They began to talk and then after an hour of waiting and the occasional nurse asking questions, a doctor then came up to the Trio. A tuft of white hair and a curious scar over his nose, he was devastatingly handsome and Lance was open jawed for at least thrity seconds.

“Hey Shiro, how’s the robotics in your arm going? If you need it serviced just ask. I was wondering how it was going.”

“That’s him?! The guy you were doing the arm for. You didn’t tell me he was gorgeous!” he hissed at Pidge. They had been working on this for a project – they’d based it around for a family friend who’d agreed to test it. And as it worked so well, kept it. 

“Thanks Pidge, tell Matt I say hi, and this must be Lance. Well, they weren’t kidding when the paramedics said you’ve messed something up. We’ll get you x-rayed then reset the foot and then operate. Sorry guys but this is where we leave you two” Shiro smiled and took Lance from the waiting area. He then explained that the nurses were gonna take x-rays then he would then see them and discuss the options with him. Somehow through all this he had found himself on a gurney. The x-rays were awkward. He couldn’t get the foot in the right position so the x-rays wouldn’t be distorted. In the end, they made him have his leg and foot over his left knee and take them from there as it caused the least pain and the better results. He found that that position wasn’t that bad and kept it there, and laughed when Shiro, who by know had formally introduced himself as Dr Shirogane, made a comment about getting comfy. 

“So by the x-rays you’ve dislocated your entire foot, shattered both side of your ankle and you fibula has been broken in half on diagonal line, this means that surgery is inevitable, so we will need to set the foot first and then get you into the OR either today or tomorrow, we cant really wait for this. We would be placing in pins and plates to keep the foot structure so you can heal and get back to normal.”

What was gonna be his normal now, by the sounds of it, he really had fucked himself over. “We will need you to sign this to say that you agree, there should be a spot today for you to go in and we still need to set your foot.” All Lance could muster was a feeble ok. He felt anything but ok. He was rolled to the setting room and injected with so much morphine he blacked out. To be fair, it was probably a good thing, resetting an entire foot took time. Then while he was still out of it a cast had appeared around his foot and leg so at least he could lie flat on the gurney. He was then taken to the patient waiting area where they left him so that the morphine could wear off. 

Once he was suitable aware of his surroundings, Shiro appeared with two other people, one was his anesthetist and the other the lead surgeon. He was then put under and the next thing he knew, he was waking up in a new room on his own with the only other people being a family around a young kid. It was another half hour before he was fully conscious and all there and then was taken into the wards to recover, he had a private room for which he was glad of and then the torturous first night began.

Meanwhile across the city Keith was complaining to his brother. “This guy bailed on us. Allura said that something important had come up and had to bail last minute like who even does that?! 15 minutes before an appointment. It was the last session of the day!” Keith was annoyed, he didn’t want to deal with Lance that day and though he had bailed on them, he was still annoyed by the fact that he didn’t have the decency to come up with a better excuse. He was on placement and had very few lectures to worry about as most had already finished, it was just the exams to go now. Keith liked his placement with Allura, most people didn’t pay much attention to him but this guy Lance seemed to rile him up, and enjoyed doing so. He also tried to flirt with Allura even though it was clear she wasn’t interested in him. “Life has a tendency to do that.” Was all Shiro said to the angry ball of blanket that was Keith. A seething Keith was best left with a mug of tea, some food and a squash court booked.


	2. You Ruined a Perfectly Good Trampolinist. Look, It Even Has Anxiety.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance had issues in the Orthopaedic wards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of this is based on how my PKU affected my stay in the wards. PKU = phenylketonuria basically means you lack the enzymes to digest protein and is a hereditary condition - mostly through recessive genes. All I eat is fruit veg, rice and potatoes. There's also medication to take with it too. They suck. This is a very rare disorder and not a fad kinda thing like people who suffer from Celiac disease have become with things being gluten free.  
> Enjoy reading!

Coran and Pidge had left his stuff with Shiro and never had he been so glad to have his phone. Every half hour meant asking for pain medication, his foot hurt like hell and he couldn’t get anywhere near comfy. 

Sir Lancelotl: hunk  
Sir Lancelotl: huunk  
Sir Lancelotl: Huuuuuunk  
Sir Lancelotl: HUUUUUUUUNNNKKKKKKKK  
Head Chef: lance its 3 am. Im asleep will talk in morning promise. 

It was hell. The food was shite especially as there was nothing he could eat due to the PKU, apparently the nurses had no idea what it was and spent a good half hour explaining the basics of how he can’t digest protein and how he really can’t eat anything right now because it will make him worse not better. He really couldn’t sleep and he had nothing but his phone, he ended up watching Netflix while tried to forget that his leg.

His leg. He wouldn’t be able to trampoline ever again. Tears started to fall down his cheeks and he angled himself so that he could curl in a ball without moving. A major part of his life was gone in just a few seconds and now? Now he would have to deal with what came. He’d survived injuries before he would survive this but he knew he wouldn’t be the same again. A small black hole started to grow as he cried himself to sleep at 3:37 am. A couple of hours later and Lance was awoken for the meds he was to take and was sent to get a new cast and the relevant x-rays. He got to see his x-rays and was horrified by them but also intrigued, he really had messed up his foot. His fibula didn’t look that better off either. Now there were 2 plates and 15 pins holding everything together. The new cast was only mildly better than the previous but it was heavy and hard to move with. And the pain was still existing as a dull throb over intense pain.

When he returned to the room he found a food slip and nothing was appetising at all. There was so little he could eat, at least he still had his spare meds in his bag.

Sir Lancelotl: hunk, please bring food and the Coolers like I have one left. BUT SERIOUSLY BRING FOOD. I CANT EAT ANYTHING HERE.  
Sir Lancelotl: sent an image  
Head Chef: damn didn’t think of that.  
Head Chef: veg stir fry with rice sound good? Am coming in during afternoon visiting hours what else do you want?  
Sir Lancelotl: please anything. Clothes, wash kit and entertainment. IM BOOOOOORED.  
There was a tentative knock on the door and Shiro and the surgeon walked in.

“Just making sure you’re ok and up to date with what’s going on,” Shiro said as he looked over Lances vitals and notes from that evening. 

“Good. Please explain what PKU is to the nurses because they can’t believe I lack the enzyme to digest protein, like I know it’s weird but I can’t eat anything.” Lance was grumpy and didn’t mean to snap. “sorry just haven’t slept or eaten because I can’t eat anything without making me very sick.” 

“Ah. Yeah will do it did seem to affect you last night right?. We are gonna be giving you the crutches and a lighter cast tomorrow and keep you in for another day after to be on the safe side. I also have a request for you to be under Dr Altea for physiotherapy, she is your one for sports, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, she is. Is there anything wrong with that?”

“No, its fine, it means you get seen more often and a lot quicker, you should be up and about in no time,” smiled Shiro.

Up and about. What would he do now, so much of his free time was training when he wasn’t working on his uni stuff. The surgeon then went on to explain what they did and that he was glad to see it was as successful as it was considering the damage that had been done. When they had left, Lance had more time to watch Netflix before Hunk and Pidge arrived with Coran and Allura behind them. Like Lance, Hunk looked like he had barely slept and arrived with food. He had made the vegetarian pastelitos and they were still warm, Lance could have cried right there and then.

He put on a brave face to not worry his friends and after a while Coran and Allura had to leave for work – Coran still had to train people and Allura had a med student to supervise while they were on placement. 

“Thanks for visiting, it means a lot. I know I told my mum and dad what happened but have you heard from them?”

“I got a message asking if it was ok to send something over. They’re worried and would like to chat when you get wifi, god know how bad the one here is.” Hunk replied “Is it ok to give you a hug like? I’m not gonna break anything else?”

“Nah, that’s my job” Lance was glad to have Hunk there and pulled Pidge in for the hug two. He was glad to have his two friends there, he might just over the fact he couldn’t trampoline again if he had these two by his side. 

They sat there and chatted till the nurses had to remove the pair from Lances room as visiting hours ended with a promise of being back tomorrow. The pain was still there but he had at least worked out how to be comfy. And now with a stack of books, his games console and clean clothes to wear instead of that horrid gown the hospital had, he was distracted and didn’t need to dwell on what the hell he would do now or the pain that was building in his leg. 

As promised two days later, Lance was released with appointment dates, a bag of medication and Hunk wheeling him out to the car with the underarm crutches on his lap. He was very grateful to Hunk’s offer to carry him up and down the stairs until he had the strength to manage it himself. The uni had been alerted to his non-attendance and situation and had allowed Hunk a temporary permit to park on the campus without needing to pay due to Lances condition. He was glad for his double bed and invested in many pillows to keep his leg elevated and comfy. There was a lot he couldn’t do and got so annoyed by the fact that showering was hard, how moving was hard how utterly bored he was after a day of no uni. He was a fourth year student and he was missing a midterm worth twenty-five percent. God how he hated this. Astro physics masters was not something you could miss. 

“Hunk, I’m going back.”

“Lance, no, that’s not a good idea.”

“I'm going back I got the new cast and I need to get used to the crutches. I. Am. Going. Back.” Hunk gave in after an hour and made Lance promise he would take it easy and ask Shay to help him. They then decided it was a good time to skype Hunks family in Samoa and hear about them as Hunk had given up his trip home to stay with Lance. 

The next day saw a very determined Lance hobbling across the physics building cursing whoever made Victorian buildings for not thinking about people on crutches. In the newer one there was a lift but in this building there wasn’t and it was hell. At least he was on the ground floor for it but that didn’t mean that the long corridors annoyed him or the fact that the benches in the lecture theatre might as well have been old church pews. It was uncomfortable and cold and very, very painful to lance as he tried to get comfy on the seats. 

“You know you could have just stayed home Lance, mitigating circumstances would have made all this ok.” Shay said. she really was a wonderful friend, kind and caring, and she was smitten with Hunk and Hunk with her. If only one of the had the courage to ask the other, the romantic tension was beginning to get tough. “I’m getting antsy and I’d rather be here learning. There’s only forty-five people on this degree, let me keep going.”

The rest of the day seemed to get better, the library staff allowed him to use a foot rest so that his leg was elevated even if his crutches got in the way of everything. His midterm was to become an extra lab to ensure he didn’t loose marks and despite the pain he was doing well. Today was one of those days where he finished after Hunk and was glad when he had got back into their flat. He tried to be helpful while Hunk was cooking but it failed to happen. All he could do was stand and stir and he got bored from it. He needed to be doing something. Dinner was never exciting for him, it was always the same, veg with rice or potatoes. He’d given up on the US prescription food because it was awful as a kid and it was expensive. Moving from Cuba had been hard on his mother and he didn’t want to add more financial pressure than he already had by being born with the PKU. 

He missed his mother and had spoken to her while in the hospital, as much as he was homesick for Cuba and the States, he liked the UK, The lack of guns made everything feel safer if he was honest, he allowed himself to be who he was. The weather wasn't as predictable, there was more history to everything and he could travel anywhere easily by foot. Cars weren't as relied upon and double decker buses were a thing all over the country, not just London. He could also travel to the National Parks anf there was so much green, even in the urban spaces. Lance was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the door bell. He picked up his crutches and ambled over to the door as Hunk opened it. He almost fell over when he saw who was the other side of it .

Keith was not a happy medical student, as if any could be classed as happy, placements were long and tedious and Allura had him working with patients. He’d also had lectures and an essay due. Needless to say, he was nowhere near happy. He was still seething over the fact that the guy had cancelled on Allura and he had lacked hours that he needed to make up, especially as it would have been his first where he was taking the lead with Allura supervising. But with his only outlet being squash while working, on top of his uni work, it was hard to find the time for the make up hours. Even though he was living with his brother, there was food and bills and the joint rent. He was suffering.

When he got to the squash courts he changed into his court shoes once he reached the courts, took out his squash racquet and balls and started the forehand and backhand drives, each one getting increasingly more powerful. He then started on other drills and techniques and started to let out his anger on the walls, and running out whatever was left. After his double session had ended, he left for a shower and looked at the people he knew did trampolining. They were usually loud because of one person and annoyed the hell out of him. But this time they were quiet and subdued. Keith brushed past them and didn’t give them a second thought, glad for the peace that came when he took his shower. Life was hard but at least his brother was still here, he was making more friends in the squash club and he was finally getting somewhere in a field he found himself enjoying. As much as he hated the education system, he loved learning and helping people, it would make the years of hell worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want any info in PKU please head to The NSPKU and ESPKU websites for a good way of explaining it, or just ask me!!
> 
> More chapters will be up at some point. Mechanical Engineering tends to have projects that run ocer due to part manufacture, i have to write that report for it and a video, then one last midterm then 2 exams. sorry in advance if these get a bit sporadic. ALSO YOU WILL GET MORE KEITH!!!
> 
> I also have tumblr - theshadowsandshilhouettes .


	3. Never Let The British Name A Boat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has a surprise visit and says fuck you to the universe, Keith is still Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this one! My reaction to my injury was basically the pettiest thing i could do - learn to walk and run again as fast as i could without further damage. And i did.

His Mama was here. She must have dropped everything to be here. His Mama was here and Lance couldn’t help but cry. She was here for him and all he wanted to do was hug her and never let go. Before he had the chance to move he was swept up in a hug with Hunk smiling at the side. Of course he knew. They made their way into the living room while Hunk went back to the food, he cried and told her of all his fears and what was going to happen. He told her of how useless he felt not being able to even walk or stand. He hated it but he did love the presence of his mother being near him. She who hadn’t cared that Lance was different and couldn’t eat most foods, she still loved him and always would. She had even brought Blue with her, he laughed and hugged her tightly, Blue stuck somewhere in between the two of them.

“I’m staying till you can walk and you can’t do a thing about it.”

“Thank you Mama” was all he could manage before bursting into tears again. His mother was here and everything would be alright. 

And it started to be alright. Rosa was there to help him, through to when the exams happened and when he could learn to walk again. Soon it was time to have his cast removed, and boy was he glad, he would be able to scratch that itch that had been building. The last five weeks were a pain but he got through them. His mother was laughing at Lance's facial features when they removed the cast, when they gave him the moon boot and crutches, Rosa was there to help support him as he hobbled to where Hunk was waiting. He was not looking forward to that first physio session in a few days considering he couldn’t put any weight on his foot. He hoped it would take only a few days rather than weeks before he could comfortable walk with the crutches. The Universe had dealt him a shit card and his response would be the pettiest Fuck You in existence, he would make it work and own it. Keith was still with Allura and was trying to muster up the courage to ask if he can intern over the summer with her. He really does enjoy it. He then see’s whose next on the list. The guy that bailed on him on first day. Well fuck, my question has been changed. 

“Ah Keith, the person I wanted to talk to, I’ll be taking Lance today and I think it will be good for you to observe in this one. Also you can stay on during the summer, you’re gonna be a great physiotherapist.” Allura added, seemingly reading his thoughts. He was in the large room when he heard that loud voice. He recognised that voice, he was that guy from the trampoline club. He would be civil but no more than that, he was just another patient, no need to do anything lest Allura would hold it against him. 

He sat in the corner and tries to be invisible. And failed miserably.

“I’d recognise that mullet anywhere. Its Keith isn’t it?” the guy asks him. How does he know me? He thought to himself. How. “Lance, if you’d take a seat, I need to assess what we are dealing with here, I’ve seen your x-rays they were not fun at all. And yep, that’s Keith, the student I told you about.” A mullet really? That’s just how his hair grew. Allura telling him his name before the initial session explained how he knew his name but the x-rays? His interest was piqued though, the guy must have broken a bone judging by the moon boot and elbow crutches. A bit over dramatic much to have needed an intensive physio plan for it. Allura had him on one of the bed like chairs to ensure she could start to move Lance’s foot. There were a couple of groans and it really did look like the guy was in a lot of pain. But it was only a bone it couldn’t be that bad. He’d broken his leg before and didn’t need to apply heavy dramatics about it. 

“Lance, why are you trying to walk on this already?” questioned Allura. “It’s been 4 days since the cast came off and if you say you’ve gone back to toe pointing exercises, so help me.”

Lance knew the look on his face must have screamed guilty because Allura’s look of disappointment made him feel sorry that he was trying to be mobile again, despite the pain. But that was who he was. Laugh it off and walk off the remainder of the pain, it was his go to response for anything emotional or physical. 

It was only basic stretches Allura proceeded to help him do, but it hurt like hell. He could feel all the metal moving and it hurt. He tried not to make noises or faces but it still happened. It wasn’t as if he wanted to it just did. He was going to make a smoothie after this and he deserved it. The guy in the corner kept scowling at him like he was the most annoying person on earth. 

“So a medical student and this is your placement right?”

“Yes” 

“You play any sports? I recognise you from somewhere.”

“Yes”

“The gym maybe – I swear I’ve seen you near the sports centre”

“No”

“You going to answer with more than one syllable”

“No”

Lance let it drop, he really did look like that guy who played some racquet sport when he was training. He thought it might have been squash based on the size of the ball that was sometimes visible . Lance had to admit that the guy – Keith – was cute, he had the whole bad boy attitude going on and he knew it was a hopeless case when he first saw him at the initial training session in first year. They were going past the squash courts to get to the halls where the trampolines where and the girls fawned over him and he just brushed them off without acknowledging them. He could still look from afar right? He knew where the boundaries where and never got closer than appreciating the aesthetic attraction of him.

“So Allura, how long will these sessions last for?”

“A long time. You know how bad those breaks were, plus the metal and everything you’ll have to take it easy. So no sport even after you’ve regained the ability to walk and run. For at least 3 months.”

“So the start of my last year?” That was gonna be hell. A whole summer without sports. The session continued and was glad to hobble to Rosa when it was over. It was time for some smoothies.

“So that guy will be here twice a week all summer? Why does he even need that for a broken bone?” Keith asked, he was incredulous, all this for a broken bone.

“Keith, it’s not just a bone, its three, both side of his ankle and his fibula. I would show you the x-rays but I won’t betray Lance’s confidentiality. The only thing keeping his bones together is a ridiculous amount of metal. I’m more concerned about what it has done to him mentally, considering it was the sport he loved so much that did this to him. I’m going to try to get him to a place physically where he can fill that hole that must have grown.” Allura gently explained.

“Oh” was all Keith could say. He may have misjudged him a bit. He still looked to be the cocky, talkative, and flirtatious person he had seen in the changing rooms but maybe not on this front. 

“Is that the reason why he couldn’t make it to session that time?”

“Yes. I’m just sorry it had to be your first solo one with me only supervising. He literally broke everything 10 minutes before, Coran had to call on his behalf as Lance was in the ambulance.”

Keith ended up being in a bundle of blankets again when Shiro came home from the hospital. He was just handed a tea and he felt like a dick. He had judged someone for making him angry and really hadn’t thought about what might have happened. 

“It’s not your fault you know. You were stressed and nervous. It’s happened to me a few times. Remember that guy called “Slav”? Look at how much he made my blood boil. I even broke my favourite mug at work over that dude.” Shiro ended up laughing at the memories. Keith’s small smile soon joined Shiro’s, never since knowing Shiro had he seen his blood boil as much as treating “Slav” had done. The broken mug was on one of the book cases with a little black board with a counter of how many days since an incident with “Slav”. 

“The next time you see the guy just be nice to him, also this wouldn’t happen to be a guy called Lance?” 

“How did you know?”

“Only person whose op and physio dates with Dr Altea that match up. I am his doctor after all”

Keith’s look of incredulity made Shiro chuckle, he reached for Keith’s empty mug and moved to the kitchen to remake him another tea.

“Do you want me to join you on the squash court this evening? I could use the practise.”

“Only if you want to get your arse beat old man.” Keith’s reply made them both laugh and continued to even as he fell off the sofa. The squash matches between him and Shiro went well and though Shiro had learned to adapt to a new hand when he’d initially lost his arm and had gotten good again, Keith was still better and won with a two point difference.

Sir Lancelotl: end of exams, our place games night bring it on.  
Head Chef: Rosa is also here to help with food. Pastelitos have been promised  
Curse my Short Little Arms: FUCK YEAH IM THERE  
Sir Lancelotl: no swearing, mama is here and im more terrified of her reaction that you so LANGUAGE  
Curse my Short Little Arms: Wont be my fault if we are playing on the rainbow road. Im not gonna go easy because you more physically immobile.  
Head Chef: Lance what did you do to deserve your mother.  
Head Chef: Shes teaching me her pastelito recipe  
Head Chef: why can I hear chanting from your room Lance  
Curse my Short Little Arms: if it’s the one of us chant, the whole family do it. Spent a couple of weeks of summer with his family during first year and well, im stuck with most of his siblings tagging me in memes.  
Sir Lancelotl: she already considered you family in like second year. Youre just officially the better cook out of us two :) <3 

Lance smiled at his phone, his two closest friends were honorary McClain family members and his mama loved them. When he’d flown back to the states, he had travelled with Pidge again and upon arrival they both found their families chatting with each other and spent a few weeks with each other in each other’s cities. He had already told his family about Hunk but with him visiting his family again it was hard to get him and his family to meet in person though many skype conversations were held. Rosa was going home in a week as he now could walk a bit and stairs took time but at least he could actually manage them and he was starting to cuddle with Hunk again now his leg was out the cast and the pain only occurred when he’d been on his feet too long. 

Lance was throwing a leaving meal for her and a promise he’d be home over Christmas with the family he had found here. The UK wasn’t bad, he did get homesick but he foundd people to add to his family, official or not, though the beaches would never be as good as Varadero Beach. 

The next week was hell, he had all of his exams at once and at least the extra time and room he was already allowed helped, he was allowed to have his foot up and the moon boot off and could pause time to be able to move or deal with a random spike of pain if necessary. Keith was faring no better with his exams and both looked stressed as hell in Lances physio sessions. They had fallen into an easy rhythm of banter. Keith had tried to be nice but Lance kept riling him up. There was always a nickname or little comment. He didn’t hate Lance it was just how they went, there was no malice and the only fire in the comments was usually to distract lance from the pain he felt early on in the session. It became the norm. Then it was exam season.

“If I’m wrong I end a person’s life” Keith groaned as he stood behind Lance in case he fell of the small balance board.

“And I break the laws of physics and end the universe.” Lance chuckled back “You be fine Mullet McMulletface” he turned to see Keith reaction to that Boaty McBoatface meme and ended up falling. Into Keith’s open arms. Well shit. They were strong and warm and damn he could be wrapped up in them and be very content. He tried to get up and realised he’d knock his leg off a barre on the way down and a bruise was starting to appear. Keith set Lance down and placed his foot on his lap and started to gently prod at the area asking where the pain was. It was so gentle and tender, Lance felt something stir inside him. Not only was Keith drop dead gorgeous he was actually sweet. 

He could not let it go any further, yes they were the same year but he barely knew the guy outside of the physio sessions. His treacherous brain wondered what a smile would look like on his face. 

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, because you have the hands of an angel.” He asked. Keith stopped and looked at him. Blank face turning into to a mix of annoyance and distaste. So that was a no then. 

“You hit your foot not your head” and went back to looking at Lances foot, bangs covering the blush that was quickly appearing on his face. When he was saitisfied that Lance had done no damage to himself other than a bruise he helped Lance up and back onto the balance board. Allura then appeared when she heard Lance fall, and found Keith trying to look anywhere but at Lance. She gave a soft smile to herself and promised to be back in a minute to supervise Lance on the exercise trampoline.

At the end of that part of his session, Lance came up to Keith, “I’m sorry if I offended you earlier. I didn’t mean to and I wont do it again.” 

“I cradled you in my arms, I thought we had a bonding moment!” Keith didn’t know why he said this but the smile that came onto Lance face was full and genuine. 

“Does this make us friends now?”

“I guess it does.”

Keith took Lances phone and added himself on the respective social media apps and added his phone number, naming himself as Mullet McMulletface, he still found that meme hilarious and vowed to never let the British public name anything. Ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this!
> 
> Scream with me on tumblr - theshadowsandsilhouettes .


	4. Tu Aimerais Faire Ta Fête

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exams are hell, Lance is stressed, so is Keith and Lance lets his guard down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some anxiety and depressive think patterns in this chapter. Nothing major but still better to mention this.

Be nice to him, he reminded himself and so he would. Shiro would be pleased too, he’s be going out. He’s making friends. He’s always been introverted but Lance was making him come out of his shell whether he know it or not. And it really highlighted how lonely he was in the absence of his new friend or his boss or brother. 

Lance smiled at the name Keith had entered and decided that he was going be invited over one night for a games evening. He didn't know when but he would. “That young man looked nice Lance” his mama nudged him on the way to the car, “MAMA! Keith is a friend, I've only known him as long as I’ve been in these sessions. Otherwise I only saw him occasionally at the sports centre!” Lance was scandalised, he had no right to hit on the poor guy, he had promised he wouldn’t. He was happy just to call him a friend. 

He opened up his messages after he got the crutches in the car.

Sir Lancelotl: Hey Keith, its Lance, just so you have my details and stuff  
Sir Lancelotl: um yeah, hope your day goes well

Well, that wasn’t awkward, he let his phone rest on his lap as he and his mother made their way to his flat. The stairs were still hell but at least he was able to walk with only one crutch. He was proud of himself, he was doing well only two weeks with the cast off. He was looking forward to that Friday as there was no exams, end of the year and it meant that it was game night and marked his Mama’s last few days. 

Lances exams were hell, he was holed up in the silent rooms in the library with his headphones on blasting Stromae on repeat as he tried to concentrate on his exams. He had electromagnetic light modules and celestial bodies on the same day and then he had maths for physicists exam the day after. He was so damn close. 

“Tu aimerais faire ta fête  
Ta mère veut te la faire aussi, ta fête  
Le juge voudrait te faire ta fête  
Tout le monde te fera aussi ta fête” 

Yep, that’s literally how his life felt, all he wanted to do was to relax and have fun, to party so to speak. He stopped to stretch after finishing the exponential equations he was working on and noticed a familiar head of hair on the other side of the partitioned desks. 

Sir Lancelotl: Suffering too?  
Mullet McMulletface: what do you think? ¬.¬  
Lance smirked in Keith’s direction Sir Lancelotl: want to go egt food in an hour or so?  
Sir Lancelotl: ill need a break and food so wanna come with? We can leave stuff here  
Sir Lancelotl: *get sorry Mullet McMulletface: yeah sounds good. Lance, suddenly filled with motivation, managed to finish the maths paper he was working on and started on a celestial bodies paper. Sir Lancelotl: good to go? I just started something and I cant even number right now  
Mullet McMulletface: yeah lemme save some stuff

Keith saved the open paper with the notes he had written and locked down his laptop and picked up his jacket, making sure his student card was still in his pocket. He joined Lance at the door to the silent room and went through it as Lance over dramatically opened it for him. A small smile played over his lips and he could have sworn that Lances face changed for a fraction of a second. From cocky to something else entirely. He thought he imagined it and wondered why Lance even wanted to spend time with him. He wasn’t the biggest social butterfly after all even if the medics society was big on social events he never attended in the first place and rarely talked to anyone on his course - bar helping people with work or confirming where a lecture or practical was being held. 

Keith also wondered where they were gonna go considering Lance still had a crutch and moon boot. 

“Hey Keith, have you every been to Shake-Aways?” 

“Isn’t that that place with that massive menu?”

“Yep – that’s the one – apparently they’re to die for, I personally have the smoothies. They’re just as good without the frozen yogurt.”

That struck Keith as a little odd but he didn’t press it, it was a Lance thing probably. They chatted as they left campus and got to Shake-Aways, they talked about the stress of exams and what was left, plans on celebrating, Lance with his games night and Keith celebrating with a whole weekend of doing fuck all. Lance’s laugh rang through Keith and he decided he liked this genuine laugh and not the one he seemed to put on during his physio sessions. 

“So why astrophysics?” he enquired.

"Its space. There’s so much to learn and discover. What if there’s aliens and the only reason they haven’t made contact is that they’re terrified of all the life on it who seemingly thrive on a death planet?” Keith couldn’t help but laugh at this. A death planet. Seriously? But he did see a lot of people survive through things that would have killed lesser beings. Look at Lance his injury should have killed him through shock alone or infection but humanity had evolved so that he could persevere and be good again. He didn’t know when he could feel so open with Lance, it was Lance, he could make anyone feel at ease and he was so kind. What had he done to deserve that. He did deserve better than me, Keith thought to himself. His past still haunted him in panic attacks, being distant and altogether too clingy when someone paid him the smallest bit of attention. 

“Earth to Keith, this is mission control speaking.” Keith jumped a little he had wondered a head of Lance and had completely missed Shake-Aways. “Oh sorry, just got a bit lost. Exam stress and all.” He didn’t need to burden Lance with his life history. It was the past he had a future and a life in the now. He should focus on that. He ordered a strawberry cheesecake milkshake while Lance decided on a passion fruit, mango, and orange smoothie without the yogurt. When the drinks were made, they headed up to the seating area so they could full relax and enjoy being out the library for a while. 

“Holy shit. How have I not been here before. I would kill for this smoothie it’s so good.”

“There's one with real gold in it. It’s the Millionaires Shortbread one."

“Fuck now that just excessive. Who would buy that?”

“My brother for a joke. He didn’t believe it was real gold. Bought it and took the gold to be appraised and turn out gold can be eaten in a very thin sheet and isn’t digestible so it just comes out the other end.” At this Keith couldn’t hold in his laughter and had to take a minute to compose himself. “Wow. I thought my brother was bad. One of his patients basically makes his blood boil. Shiro is literally the most chill person in existance. He doesn’t even get angry you just get the “I'm very disappointed in you” look and feel guilty for the next millennia.”

“OMG, hang on Shiro as in Dr Shirogane?”

“Yeah why?”

“He’s the one who saw to me fucking up at the hospital”

“Fucking up? It was an accident, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah on the easiest thing you do on a trampoline. Most my life Keith, I’ve lived on a trampoline and a fucking straight jump because I didn’t land properly. It wasn’t an accident, it was a fuck up that shouldn’t have happened. It’s my fault. I can’t trampoline again, it was the one thing I was good at. I’m average at best and nobody likes the loud guy trying to fill space where he clearly doesn’t belong.”

Keith’s heart melted, how could Lance see himself like that. Then he remembered how easy it was when anyone is alone and something went very wrong that meant life was altered irreparably. The small tears at Lance's eyes shouldn’t have been there, he wanted to see them gone.

“But look at me complaining. People have it worse and I can’t complain, I’m at uni, I’m free to be me and I don’t have to pay for health care. Sorry I made this all awkward.”

Keith couldn’t say anything so instead he moved to sit next Lance to reassure him that he wasn’t a fuck up. Keith knew what it felt like thinking that, and all he wanted was someone next to him, physical proof that he wasn’t alone. That someone cared. 

Lance was confused when he felt Keith’s weight settle next to his. They finished their drinks in silence and started to head back to the library. “What’s your favourite colour?” Keith suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had fallen after his outburst. 

“Deep royal blue. It’s the colour of my first cuddly toy when I was a baby, I found it calming apparently and its now the colour on my walls back home.” He did not want to mention he still had that lion and she was on his bed right now. “What’s yours?”

“Vermillion. Theres just something about it that makes me believe in something more. Not religion but like I can be me, like in Happy.”

“You listen to Marina and the Diamonds?”

“If you’re gonna mock me -”

“-No! She’s a literal goddess. I still remember Mowgli’s Road! I love her music, it just makes you feel, especially Lies. The acoustic versions though.”

“I know, right? So much emotion.”

They were back in the library and they still had exams. They parted ways as they went back to their spots in the silent room. Lance had no idea why he had spilled what was eating at him for the last two months, especially to Keith, someone who sat and helped in his physio sessions. Someone who probably didn’t need to hear or deal with his bullshit. But what he said was true. No one wanted to deal with a guy with issues like his. It wasn’t just the self-esteem issues or the other internal issues he fought daily. Who would want to deal with a person who couldn’t even eat like a normal human being?

He left the library a few hours later as he was falling asleep. Walking still took a lot of energy and being the idiot he was he had decided to walk home to not disturb Hunk or his mother who had decided to go on a shopping trip to take stuff back to his father and siblings. He hated the hills, he hated the stairs and he hated that he felt this way. he got onto his bed and took of the moon boot, curled up with it foot on a pillow and Blue wrapped up in his arms.

When he woke up it was 2 am and no one was up in his flat, there was only one notification on his phone.

Mulley McMulletface: I enjoyed today. Good luck for tomorrow. And you didn’t fuck it up. Your ankle or today, promise. What did he do to deserve this? He buried his face into the pillow and screamed. He then proceeded to fall asleep again.

Keith on the other hand had been in the library for hours memorising and note taking and practising. He went to leave, he noticed Lance had gone and he wrote him a quick message to reassure him that he wasn’t annoyed with him and to wish him luck for his exams the next day. He then went to book a squash court, then found himself in a duvet burrito and somehow manged to sleep peacefully without his insomnia keeping him awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The french translates to  
> You wanna get down  
> Your mum shes on your case  
> The judge is out to get you  
> Everyone just wants to get down  
> this is from the english translations direct from the artist's video even though I know Ta fete means to party.
> 
> Songs references 
> 
> Stromae's Ta Fête - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ublchJYzhao
> 
> Marina and the Diamonds - Happy (acoustic because OMG) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6AHxF0s764
> 
> Hope you liked this one - chapters are starting to get longer I promise and I hoped you enjoyed this!!!!
> 
> Scream into the void with me on tumblr - theshadowsandsilhouettes .


	5. Waltz No. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk is lovely but crafty, Lance is Lance and Keith is on court. 
> 
> Exams are over and its time to celebrate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's not much to warn about in this, Hunk has a POV and the start of squash shenanigans commences!!!

His exams were over, it was time to get gaming, Shay had been invited over as well, she was lovely Hunk really should just ask or he would spare them a lot of pain and do it for them. Hunk had been pining for the entire year, it was cute but it need mean unnecessary looks when both of them where clearly interested in each other. He had made a massive stir fry and had cooked meat separately so he could eat with them, Lance decided he could repay both Hunk and Shay this way by finally getting them together. He just hoped Pidge and his Mama thought so too. 

“Shay, Hunk wants you in the kitchen, apparently I’m useless!” Lance called into the living room. 

“Let me take off this damn cardie, why did I think a cardie was a good idea for this?” replied Shay and Hunk came through and took it off for her with a gentle smile. 

“It's fine Shay, I’m almost done, can you help Lance carry some stuff through?”

“Mama and Pidge are there, Mama, this is Shay, Shay, this is my mother Rosa. Shay’s been helping me with everything this semester!” 

Hunk arrived with the last of the food and they all dug in with a random film on Netflix on in the background; Pidge was curled up on one armchair and Lance and his mother were on the larger sofa, both taking up as much space as possible. This left Shay and Hunk to get cosy on the smaller sofa, they fit but it meant they had to be close to each other’s personal spaces, it was just up to them to close that gap. 

“The plan, Super Smash Bros, Mario Kart, not cards against humanity Mama is here and she will destroy you. Actually she will destroy you at everything, you’ve been warned,” Lance grinned at his mother, “then we can do whatever, except drinking games, I have a reputation to keep up as the perfect son.”

“More like a perfect pain in the arse!” added Pidge, which caused the room to explode in laughter.

“You love me really,” Lance replied as he ruffled their hair so that it stuck up in even more odd angles. 

The game controllers were set up and the games were ready to be played. Somehow Lance had managed to get Just Dance to be played and despite being on a crutch, still managed to beat them all. When they got to Mario Kart, they started with the rainbow road, a horrible idea really, and Lance and Pidge were arguing over who got to be Princess Peach. Lance's mother settled that by being Peach, Hunk became Bowser, Shay was Daisy, Lance settled for the mushroom guy and Pidge just used their saved mii character. It was a disaster. Rosa really did beat everyone including Lance's high score, he demanded a rematch with everyone taking his mother’s side only to lose again by half a lap because of that fucking blue shell. He ended up pouting, out of fun, for a good five minutes while his mother tried to make him smile by attacking him with the crutch, all of which was documented by Pidge who was wearing a massive shit eating grin, with it came with the promise of blackmail material. 

The night went on as such while Pidge and Lance exchanged knowing looks when either Shay or Hunk’s gazes lingered on each other. 

Cusre My Short Little Arms: time to clear up?  
Sir Lancelotl: yes. Hope they actually talk

“Hunk, since you cooked, we will clear up. It’s the least we could do!” 

Hunk looked at Lance in confusion. Lance was willingly cleaning up? He only did that when there was nothing left to use except the knives he didn’t use.

“Here, let me help!” Shay said but was immediately told the three of them was good enough.

Lance, Pidge and Rosa picked up all the plates and promptly left, leaving Hunk and Shay alone in the living room. 

“I can guess what this is about. They still don’t realise we’ve been dating have they?” Hunk asked quietly, enveloping Shay into his arms and getting comfy.

“Nope! Though Lance is oblivious considering his leg and the exams, Pidge is aro ace as hell and wants nothing to do with any of it and Rosa knows but promised not to say anything,”

“So how do we tell the others or do we just keep them in suspense a little more?”

“I do like seeing them flounder,” Shay smirked, Hunk really did love that smirk, he had asked Shay out two days before Lance's accident and both had been tiptoeing around each other for 4 years, since they shared most of their general engineering modules, they sat together and became good friends. They were now thankfully more.

“And they say you’re the innocent one here,” Hunk was smiling and gave Shay a kiss on her nose which made her giggle. The others were apparently thinking that there would be a full blown confession but in reality they started to plan how to reveal themselves, on the scale of Lances dramatics. They were going to play this for all it was worth, if only to prank their friends and partial revenge to Lance for scare he got when Coran phoned him saying Lance was in A and E. 

The other three came back in, and Hunk and Shay were back as they were and trying to hide the smiles that were threatening to appear on their faces. They went back to playing Super Smash Bros and ended up destroying the others by tag teaming against everyone. 

Well after it had gotten dark Shay decided it call it a night and Hunk offered to drive her home instead of walking in the dark on her own, he saw Lance and Pidge exchange looks but knew nothing would come of it. He gave Rosa and Lance hugs and received a glare from Pidge just daring him to try, with that he left and Pidge settled down on the massive sofa with a single player games while Lance and his mother went to their beds. In all that had happened, Lance hadn’t looked at his phone and didn’t see the notification that was on his screen.

Keith had his last exam and had basically decided to use his four free days to do fuck all. Allura was paying him a wage for his summer internship, he had no more exams or lectures for at least a month and he had time to just stop and relax. He hadn’t booked any squash courts as he had training on the Sunday and a match on the Monday. He could read all the books he wanted and get back to playing his instruments.

Need a Hand: been asked to cover part of the nightshift on A and E, wont be home till late.

That had been sent over an hour ago and Keith was tempted to play as much classical as he could. His clarinet was loud by nature, but there was no way on earth that quiet on a clarinet could be as quiet as a string instrument. So from mid afternoon till tea, he played his clarinet, his fingers still had the dents on the pad of his fingers from the holes on the clarinet. A testament to the dedication and years of practice and dedication he put into his clarinet. As much as he loved to sing and play the piano, his clarinet, Red, would always be his first love. 

As he knew most pieces by heart and could sight read almost all arrangements perfectly, his hand moved fluidly over the body of the clarinet and let his soul pour out of him. All the stress and pain that a squash court couldn’t get rid of, and those small fragments of happiness that could shine through. Even though he gave up on performances, this was his and no one would take it from him, he still loved his music too much.

He had started with Orpheus in the Underworld, then moved onto Shostakovich’s Waltz No. 2 from the jazz suite, to Rhapsody In Blue and all 3 of the pieces that made Mozart’s clarinet concerto. He got a bit bored of classics after that he had somehow managed to work out the tetris theme and found its perfect repetition calming. It was easy and he may have found it was a great way to get Shiro’s blood pressure to “Slav” levels while warming up when he was first adopted by the Shirogane family. It was getting late so he decided to give Red a quick polish and then moved on to his small upright piano. He put on his fingerless gloves and played whatever song that flowed through his fingers. After some more classical pieces he found himself singing. Any song that he could play and sing over the eclectic taste that was his music library.

“808's are shaking up the dance floor  
Just you wait  
Tonight I'm gonna make my  
Mind erase  
To justify the things I did  
Tonight  
Will end in tragedy”

He had to laugh at the irony, his life usually did end in tragedy...

“Sightings of shape shifting,  
Dissolved into the darkness a final opinion is of less value,  
Than an appreciation and tolerance of obscurity.”

It was getting late. One more song he promised himself. 

“Whatever I feel for you  
You only seem to care about you  
Is there any chance you could see me too?  
'Cause I love you  
Is there anything I could do  
Just to get some attention from you?  
In the waves I've lost every trace of you  
Where are you?”

It was the acoustic versions of the last two songs, and they always reminded him of what he had lost. But it reminded him of the people that where there. There was Shiro, now Allura and hopefully Lance. He picked up his phone and sent a quick message,

Mullet McMulletface: Hey, do you want to hang on Monday afternoon? After your physio session I mean. Hope you have a good evening.

He put down his phone and left it to charge as he headed to his bedroom. He was tired enough that he had a few hours sleep before he jolted awake and couldn’t fall back to sleep again. Saturday flew by in a flurry of doing nothing but everything at once. He cleaned his work space and room but also finished a book and started another. He was reading for pleasure again and it felt good. He made Shiro and himself a batch of raspberry and white chocolate slice, a treat both of them adored. He ended up reading again most the evening as sleep eluded him. Though he felt disheartened that Lance hadn't replied, he wanted his attention outside of uni and physio. Keith wanted his friendship but if it wasn't to be, Keith would save himself the pain. Lance was warmth and a feeling he had only just got used to and he so desperately wanted to be a feature in Lance's life. Keith may be a private person but he did wear his heart on his sleeve, and he was readable to anyone who knew him well. He eventually fell asleep round three in the morning and his sleep was broken and full of uncomfortable dreams. 

The next morning he was happy to see that Lance had replied to him.  
Sir Lancelotl: Yeah sure!  
Sir Lancelotl: sorry for replying late, Mama went home and we were celebrating that and the end of exams. Meet you then :)

Keith gave himself a small smile and when Shiro asked what he was so happy about, he thought back to the text that Lance had sent, which caused Keith to smile all the more. 

“I’m hanging out with a friend tomorrow.” Shiro dropped his prosthetic arm – contrary to popular belief he didn’t wear it all the time, just when he needed it. 

“I’m so proud of you. And its outside the squash club! Also, aren’t you gonna be late to training?” 

“Shit, see you later, have a great day at work!” he yelled as he ran out the door with his bag and racquet in hand. 

The training was brutal as usual. 50 sprints and 50 various warm ups which were designed to stretch his muscles. His dynamic stretches weren’t any better and he was glad when they were sent to work on straight drives, volleys and boasts. The next hour consisted of hitting the ball, running to the opposite corner repeat. At least the games were fun, he won them all and though he lost points he still came out top. He didn’t have a strategy so much as it was hit the ball where his competitor was not. It was a rather impulsive and instinctual play he employed. Nathan was impressed with the last straight drive as it hit the corner and rolled. It didn't even bounce.

“Good shot Kieth!” He yelled from behind the glass. 

“Fuck you!” Came from beside him, but on court a fuck you usually meant that was a great shot well done. It was only ever used with people in the club and who you were very friendly with, never in any official matches or round anyone who wasn't comfortable with it. 

“Pure luck, I promise!! Sorry Jack, that was a rather mean shot.” The game continued and it was a close match. Keith was tired and starting to lag but he won his last point after a thirty hit rally with a rather spectacular drop shot have a set of straight drives. The squash club was a very welcoming society, they didn’t care that Keith had his issues, they treated it as part of who he was and worked with and around it. He was always included and club nights usually ended in a series of running jokes. The latest of which was the saga of the 8- braincell club. In which none of the eight people playing in the three-quarter court game could last more than one shot or even serve properly sixth time round let alone the first. Himself included. It didn’t help that two people thought they’d both lost a particular point and left the other side of the court free. He couldn’t stop laughing about it for ages. Nor could the other seven playing the three quarter court game with him, he genuinely felt happy here on court and the people he played and trained with really did make it better.

When the training ended he headed home, put some pasta in some boiling water and left it on a low heat to soften as he went to have a quick shower. Squash was a sport that unfortunately left him drenched in sweat and covered in bruises and small cuts from either running into a wall, being hit with a ball or hitting himself with his own racquet. The courts were usually hot and unless he was one of those were freakishly tall people who could step and could lunge everywhere easily, he had to do a fair but of running if someone had him on his toes. He wouldn’t change it for the world though. He would be eternally grateful to his adopted family for putting him through those beginner sessions soon after he had moved in with them. The pain of everything before still raw and fresh at the time, it was one of the few times he could work through his anger and start to think and get to some point of peace again. Shiro was also there and it became the starting point of their bonding as brothers. Keith had had his issues back then but he swore that the squash courts saved him from going down a road he wouldn’t be able to return from. 

Keith had tired himself out as he normally did on squash days and now exams were over he could enjoy his free time without too much stress. Who was he kidding, he was a medical student and was lucky that Allura has given him a week’s grace so that he could properly stop and relax. Even though he hadn’t known the meaning of the work relax over his time at uni. Keith, like any good student ate his pasta with no sauce and a tiny bit of salt while he had his Netflix on. The Uk Netflix had some rather interesting choices to choose from but it did have Peaky Blinders and he could watch the third series on the BBC catch up service. He did love the show and even though he had stayed in Birmingham for some time while Shiro was transferred there for a while during the summer of second year, he had decided that the only place that was worth visiting was the Lickey Hills and the city centre though he did pick up the habit of referring to it as Town. 

At some point Keith had moved from the sofa to his double bed, snuggled under two fifteen tog duvets plus three blankets. The bed still felt empty and as much as he liked the space he did feel lonely. He did have friends, one he would play squash with but none close enough he could talk to properly about anything and everything and not be judged for it. He turned off his Netflix and put on his nightly playlist so that he would at least ease up a bit so he might sleep. He was an insomniac and four hours sleep was good enough for him, He was used to it and has been this way for more than ten years, it was the kind of shit one got used to very quickly. He heard Shiro return about three in the morning and drifted of soon after. That night he fell asleep with the aching loneliness he often felt and imagined a pair of arms snaking around him and a leg entangled with his and the idea that he would one day be wanted by someone other than his family or as just a friend. Imagined that it would be for who he was , asexuality and all. He would have been the first to admit that he was tough starved and he had no idea when he started to imagine it being Lance's arms around him rather than a nameless body. He snuggled down into his nest of duvet and drifted off into a relaxed sleep for the first time in months. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE 8 BRAINCELL CLUB EXISTS. I AM A MEMBER and it was hilarious. All advanced players and none of us could hit the ball at all.
> 
> Also this is easier to write than a report on building a clock for my mech eng project. Or even looking at electronic and the solid mechanics. Well look at this idiot procrastinate. There is one other finished Chapter then updates will slow down - sorry!!! On the upside they're getting longer!!!!
> 
> Do check out the classical pieces and the other songs Keith sings are  
> End in Tragedy - Set it off - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9yWsSLHXFE
> 
> I Didn't Say I was Powerful, I Said I was A Wizard (Acoustic) - Chiodos - both the original and acoustic are great and seriously is my favourite song pls dont judge me  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCtJcjT1VB8 (acoustic)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhsEN32C3xM ( original)
> 
> I Love You (Acoustic) - Woodkid  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-nFIo4f71g (acoustic)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQu8FOjJXdI (original)
> 
> I dont own these song but do check them out!!!


	6. One Small Step for Lance-Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance makes a discovery and Keith is pining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last of the regular updates - will be updating once a chapter is done, this one is short but uni got me revising!!!  
> enjoy the chapter - sorry its a bit short but it was a good place to end.

Lance was trying to get to the bathroom on his own without the crutches and moon boot. He had been walking now for at least two weeks (with a moon boot and crutch though) and he might as well try without the support of the moon boot and he couldn't be bothered to find his crutch in the dark. The two items wasn’t always going to be there. His bare feet padded over the carpets to the hallway, he was slow and there wasn’t as much pain as he’d been expecting, though in his physio sessions he had been standing on it with a support around it with the singular crutch. 

But this time there was no support just him and the floor. It was the dead of night and he really needed to pee, he really didn’t want to find and put on his moon boot or supports to walk less than 4 metres. He slowly put down his right foot, it twinged but nothing more, then he left then his right again. He was shaky and unsteady but he made it. He had walked. He had walked! In the pitch black he did a little victory dance then remembered why he had come all the way to the bathroom, he did his business and made his way back to his room. The way back was a lot better as he knew what to expect, he would keep this up in the morning and be able to show his mama this on her last day. Lance couldn’t wait to show her and see her smile at him finally getting to a point of usefulness as he saw it. But he had to tell someone, it was too monumental to keep to himself. So at 04:17 he messaged Keith. 

Sir Lancelotl: I JUST WALKED  
Sir Lancelotl: WITHOUT CRUTCHES  
Sir Lancelotl: OR MOON BOOT  
Sir Lancelotl: OR SUPPORT  
Sir Lancelotl: JUST ME AND MY OWN TWO FEET  
Sir Lancelotl: IM FUCKING WALKING  
Sir Lancelotl: JAHGBDKJFIJWEHFUWAEHFBKWJBDFKJSDBFHBDSDSHBDS  
Sir Lancelotl: shit, just realised the time, sorry if I woke you

Why he messaged Keith first. Keith of all people who he’d only really had one interaction with outside of his physio sessions. Lance really did want to be his friend and he guessed this was the starting point of getting there. Friendships took work and effort and a lot patience, but Keith had to be open to it as well. Lance hoped he wasn’t misreading Keith when they interacted, he did like Lance didn’t he? He must do on some level – he went to Shake-Aways with him. He sent me that message asking him to hang out. He may find Keith so very aesthetically attractive and really did want something to happen but first a friendship. First get to know the guy, it was only fair to Keith. Lance had managed to quell this sort of thing before and he would do so again. A friendship with Keith and Keith’s own feelings mattered more to him than his one sided attraction. 

Sometime later, Lance had drifted off only to be woken by Pidge, 

“If you dare say anything about me coming in here to sleep on your floor for the company, know that I know where you live.”

“Sure thing Pidgeot,” He sleepily replied, he lobbed down a pillow or two and tossed his blanket on top of the nest that was Pidge. He curled back up into his duvet and pillows and fell back to sleep almost immediately. 

When he woke it was so that he could say goodbye to Rosa, and he would walk to her without any support. Pidge could be heard talking to Hunk and Rosa in the kitchen, good, he can surprise them all at once. He stood up and though there was a small throb from it being unused, he took one step then another and he walked to the kitchen. When he got there he just stood in silence and waited till someone saw him. While walking, he was silent unlike the moon boot or the crutch. Rosa saw him leaned against the door frame.

“Lance! We didn’t hear you! We didn’t hear you? Lance where’s your Crutch and moon boot?”

“I walked Mama, I walked” Lance was smiling so much, he walked towards he so that he could be swept up in her arms. His mama had tears in her eyes.

“I’m glad to see you walking again. You’ve worked so hard to get this far. I’m so proud.”

“Me too Mama, me too,” He started to wobble a bit and enjoyed one last breakfast with Rosa before the taxi came to drop her off to the airport. Hunk had left to take Pidge back to theirs and that left them alone and Rosa took advantage of it.

“Here, there's a few people who wanted to say something to you.” He was handed a bunch of letters and envelopes. He started with the handwriting he recognised least, and after the 15th letter, he was down to the last two.

“Lance,  
I’m sorry I got mad at you when you wanted to put your education over competition, You were my closest friend at the gymnasium and I really did enjoy working with you. I heard what had happened and I’m so sorry about what it now means. But I have faith in you to pull through and still be the Lance I used to do synchro with, that Lance who could make you smile and laugh even through the worst life had to throw. You inspired me to keep going, even though my new partner isn’t you we still win. I hope your life leads to who and where you want it to.  
I really do hope we can stay in contact,  
All my love, Nyma”

“She hand delivered that to me and apologised to me – she’s now babysitting the triplets, they took a liking to her and do near enough everything she says.” Rosa said, she knew how much hurt there had been when Lance had decided to pursue science over medals, She could understand both Lance’s and Nyma’s frustrations, their friendship – so carefully crafted and honed – had been destroyed as everyone took sides. 

“Tell her yes. Tell her to expect a massive email so I can say what I want to properly.”

Lance then looked at the last letter.

“Lance,  
You probably know by now you will never trampoline again. Remember the times you had, the experiences you gained but turn your back on the trampoline, this chapter has ended. Find a new sport to fill the hole and find new people and experiences. I’m not saying don’t forget the sport entirely, but don’t let it be the reason you cease to live. Live for you.  
You can always come to me for anything, but I will not let you wallow when you still have the world at your feet Space Boy.  
Val.”

Lance found the nearest scrap of paper and simply wrote

You haven’t seen the last of me. And trust me, I will be out of this world.

Val had seen his talent when he moved from Cuba to the States when he tried out for the gymnasium that became his second home. She had taught him so much about life, the trampolines and himself. She taught him that nothing would ever stop him and someone would always have faith in him no matter how far he fell.  
In his reverie the buzzer went, announcing Rosa’s taxi. 

“You better be back for Christmas. We all miss you.” Rosa had tears in her eyes which only amplified Lance’s own.

“You know it Mama, you can’t get rid of me that easily though, getting in and out may be interesting with all this metal in my leg” 

They embraced for a final time and Lance watched from his window as his mother was driven away to go home. He was sad to see her go, he had enjoyed having a sense of normalcy through all this, but, he did have a chance to hang with Keith after his physio. Oh what fun, he though, what fun indeed. 

“Lance walked? Keith, are you kidding me?”

“No Allura, look at the message he sent. Then the one from one of his friends complaining about how they can’t steal his crutches anymore to joust with – well they can but without the, and I quote, “making Lance suffer” bit.”

“That’s still so early though, a fracture of this kind, even with the metal work should take longer to heal and to walk.”

“Sounds like Lance, impossibly everything at once.” Keith knew he was feeling something he just wasn’t sure what. When he woke up that morning to those messages on his phone a genuine smile crossed his face and a swell of pride rushed through him. Yes, Lance was loud and always there but he kept going. A stubborn streak he could appreciate. It wasn’t the only thing he could appreciate, like his eyes. A blue so alive and calming and impossibly deep that showed every strong emotion. It may be his second favourite colour…

Nope. Keith was not going down that road, Lance was more than likely straight given that fact that he flirted with anything that breathed. Even if he was anything but straight, there’s no way he would go me, Keith thought, You deserve better than a tragic life story and recurring issues. He knew it would only end in heart break and pain. Lance was still important to him though, he’d somehow grown on Lance and like a barnacle, refused to let go of his life. Better to stay friends so that he can stay away if he needs to. He looked to the door, expecting the gangly form of Lance to walk through, in his normal workout trousers and hoodie. There was a little old lady who distrusted hospitals before Lance arrived and Keith was still trying to plan what to do. Coffee was the best idea but would that seem like a date? And where would they go anyway – Starbucks or Costa probably but that was way too much like a date. It was sunny outside but walking would tire Lance out, especially as he’d only just started to walk on his own. If only he could scream into a pillow and fling himself into the void. Apparently, it was rather nice this time of year. 

When Lances appointment came, Keith was a writhing ball of nerves given human form. He was very unused to socialising, preferring to stick to the outskirts and avoid human interaction. How had he been talking to Lance before all of this started? Thankfully he was to sit near the edge while Allura interrogated him about walking again, and to be there was a support if Lance were to fall during one of the more intensive exercises they were planning on making him do. The door opened and Lance walked in with just the moon boot. It was understandable as he was having to still use it because of the support it gave but it was a vast improvement from a few days ago. That strange rush of pride came through him and he could of swore blind that he saw a quick smirk appear on Lance’s face. But it must have disappeared as quickly as it arrived as he and Allura got down to business. To defeat the Huns, he quietly sang in his head. Lance sat down and did what he was told by Allura - to take off his moon boot along with the other shoe, and walked over to the work area bare foot. Allura and Keith looked at Lance and then each other. 

“Lance, you’re actually walking,” Allura spluttered.

“Ok, there’s no need to bask in my glory and my own beauty. I know I’m gorgeous,” 

“And there’s the Lance we know. Way to ruin the moment,” 

“Whatever you say Princess,” There he goes again, no way he’s not straight. At least once a session Lance called Allura Princess, a constant reminder that no matter how he felt, he could only have Lance as a friend. He was fine with this, friendships are more important to him anyway. 

For most the physio session, it was balancing on his right foot and trying to strengthen it and build up the endurance for how long he could walk on it. She also worked on his walking technique as he had to essentially relearn how to walk again, properly without adjusting his weight. Lance had to take some breaks when the pain started to get to him, but only at the insistence of Allura. After an hour and a bit, Allura decided to call it a day, not wanting to tire Lance out anymore than he already was. Relearning to walk apparently took a lot of energy.

Keith was looking forward to spending time with Lance though as he hung back waiting for him. The office closed early on Mondays and it was only 2pm, his match that evening didn’t start till 7pm, he had five hours to spend with Lance and prepare. Though his preparation really was just looking for his court shoes among the mess that was his room over exam season. 

Lance walked over to Keith once his moon boot and other shoe was on.

“Hey thanks for waiting. So, what we gonna do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * evily rubs fly hands together* enjoy this chapter!! the next one is being written but reports and revision has to be done cos exams :(
> 
> Hope you're all enjoying this!! The fact you're even reading it means a lot!!!
> 
> will have an update at some point over the week - promise :)


	7. I'm All About that Squash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance have an afternoon and evening together. And they PINE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONE USE FOR INSOMNIA - FIC WRITING!!! also long boring shifts at work to come up with cute ideas. I really loved this chapter and I hope you do to!!

“I literally have no idea what we were gonna do, sorry Lance, if you want to go just go. Sorry to disappoint you.”

“Hey, I want to spend time with you, we are friends, right? And that means we can do anything. You like games?”

“Yeah, I guess I do, just nothing on an xbox. They suck.”

“Finally! Someone with taste!” Lance sent his arms spiralling in his very overdramatic movements. “Just don’t tell Hunk, he’ll never forgive you, he may look like a cinnamon roll but he will kill you. Especially with kindness. He plays the long game he does.” After a quizzical look from Keith, “My flatmate, close friend and general, all round good guy. You can come round ours and play games if you want?”

Keith froze up or a second, then quickly nodded.

“You ok to walk?”

“We need to get a taxi sorry. And I’m apologising in advance for the pain that will inevitably appear. I can pay.”

The taxi Lance had ordered appeared and both got in, the back was low and Lance was comically squashed, he was bent double and had no leg room what so ever, it made a smile tug at Keith’s lips. A smile Lance noticed. It quickly fell away.

“Like you are doing any better.” Lance pouted, no, he still had the same leg room problem but at least he could actually sit straight, his head nearly touched the roof. It was only a few stray hairs that did so otherwise he was fine. 

The journey took 5 minutes and Lance coughed up, he then looked to Keith and gave him a very apologetic look

“Up we go”

Keith considered himself fit, he played squash most days and was good enough to compete, but he would not lie to Lance when he said the stairs had killed him. They were steep, well worn and the three sets of stairs to the third floor was a killer. Lance was also bothered by them but he was used to them and he wouldn't dare complain in front of Keith.

“Why did you go have to live in a building without a lift. You’ve been climbing these with your leg? I’m not surprised that you’re stubborn about walking. I feel sorry for Hunk when he had to carry you up these. Didn’t the uni do anything for you?” Keith complained all the way up, there was a slight tension that needed to be broken and this worked.

Lance chuckled at the disgruntled looking Keith as they reached the third floor landing. He was the fifth and final level in the building if you counted the basement and ground floors. 

“First of all, Hunk and I moved in at the end of first year. And yes, it was slow but manageable, I’m not stupid Keith I had crutches and a moon boot on and just the crutches and sheer pettiness when I was in the cast. And nope, all they could do was offer me a disabled room on campus but they’re there for people who deserve and actually need them, I did not.” Lance started to rummage around in his pocket, pulling out his keys. 

He opened up the door and went straight to the kitchen and downed his Cooler – a disgusting mix of concentrated amino acids, vitamins and minerals, all the things he couldn’t get from the food he couldn’t eat. The aftertaste was just as foul as the smell and taste, and he immediately needed to clean his teeth. He realised he’d just left Keith stranded in his flat, and able to look at anything, including the meds he tried so hard to hide. 

“Keith?”

“I’m in the living room, I um I haven’t touched anything if you’re worried.”

“I was wondering if you wanted to drink or eat anything?” he said as he popped his head round the door, he saw Keith just standing looking very awkward, like he didn’t know if he could sit or not.

“Oh um, just water?”

“You know you can sit down and get comfortable. I’m not going to make you stand for the next few hours.”

He made his way to the kitchen and was surprised to hear a second set of footfalls that accompanied him. 

“You’re gonna over work yourself, let me help.” Keith helped Lance get the glasses from the cupboards and both made their way back to the living room. Lance flumped on the larger sofa and Keith made a fuss over keeping his leg up as it was still healing, contrary to Lances protests. He’s cute when he fusses, he’s fussing over me too. No, don’t think like this, you promised him. You fucking promised. Lance knew he shouldn’t be feeling anything beyond friendship for Keith. He was a friend and he didn’t need to fuck it up by being himself. He liked him and really did find that he enjoyed his company. 

“What do you wanna play? We have Mario – kart and normal, super smash bro’s, still got guitar hero.” Lance eventually managed to say, hoping his voice didn’t betray him and show his true feelings. 

“Whatever, I’m only gonna beat you in everything we play.” Keith easily smiled, 

“Bring it on Mullet.”

They immediately threw themselves into Mario Kart, Lance demanding Princess Peach and the first one to be Rainbow Road, the two were evenly matched though, through some underhanded tactics on Keith’s, such as his beauty and his eyes, oh god his eyes, no, don’t think of them, Keith had managed to place first while Lance came in a close second. 

“You cheated.” 

“Did not, you just suck.” Keith deadpanned back, he hadn’t won fair and square, had he? Did Keith know how utterly stunning he was? His only response was, “Fight me.”

“Bring it on.” Lance ended up with a pillow in his face pretty quickly, and chaos ensued. Pillows were thrown at each other, Lance had angled himself so that his foot was protected but still had a good defence against Keith, who favoured short range attacks with one pillow, whereas Lance decided that lobbing them in Keith’s direction was better suited to him. 

After Lance had decided that he would only win against Keith if he had a strategy, and he quickly found it, Keith kept his right side open when he attacked. If he threw himself at that side with a pillow, he might just gain the upper hand. So he did, the next attacked Keith made, Lance launched himself at him, pillow in hand. And brought both of them down to the floor, Keith pinned underneath Lance.

“Oh no, you got me.” Keith smiled sarcastically, bringing up his pillow to gently bump him on the head. Lances smile turned into a laugh which turned into hysterics as he collapsed next to Keith, who had also started to laugh. Lance decided he liked Keith’s smile and he liked being the cause of it, it seemed like Keith didn’t have many reasons to smile from the small amount of time he had known him, considering he only saw shadows of smiled or ones that were forced. They lay there until the laughter had ceased but smiles still plastered their faces.

“Call it a draw then?”

“What ever makes you sleep at night McMullet.” 

Keith offered up his hand to help him up and rummaged around to find the guitar hero controllers and to go with the console. 

“Don’t move too much in case you’ve done some damage to your foot, I don’t want to take you back to my brother,” I’ll never hear the end of it he thought, as he imagined all the remarks that Shiro would be saying to him. Telling him to try for this chance at happiness, as ill fated as it would be when Lance tells him he doesn’t see him like that.

“So what song do you want to start with – you have all the collections,” He asked, as he scrolled through the first disk. 

“Anything, just know I will beat you in this,” He heard Lances reply. So he started on Killer Queen. They then went through to Bad Reputation, Sweet Child of Mine, the annoyingly long but still awesome Knights of Cydonia, Paint it Black (it was the Stones whined Lance, bet it matched you’re emo phase, with a wicked smile) Welcome to the Jungle, When You Were Young. Keith almost ended up singing to this as he had done many times with his piano, they played the downloadable Kaiser Chiefs and Muse songs and the final two songs ended up being Ruby and Through the Fire and Flames. They had kept beating the previous high scores and much to his joy, Lance had one victory more over Keith, though he didn’t mind, he still beat Lances high score on Through the Fire and Flames.

Then Keith noticed the time and that they had a guest in the living room. 

“Forgot you still played on your PS 2,” Said the stranger, he had seen him round Allura’s clinic when Lance was there and assumed he must have been his flatmate.

“I’m Hunk, this idiot’s flatmate,”

“I’m sorry for your losses,” Then a pillow was chucked in his face. “OK, I deserved that. Sorry Lance,” With a fond smile thrown his way. “I also have to go, I got a match to be at,”

“I CALLED IT. I KNEW YOU PLAYED A SPORT. YOU TOTALLY ARE THAT GUY FROM THE CHANGING ROOMS!!! That wasn’t meant to sound that creepy sorry,” Lance realised, he was endearing Keith admitted to himself, he remembered Shiro’s words from when he was a teen when all had gone to shit, to let himself open up even if it was hard, those who truly liked him would stay for him. 

“You can come along if you want, both of you. I just need to get my kit, we always appreciate spectators,”

“I can drive us there if you direct Keith.” Hunk offered and Lance went off to find his moon boot so he could actually last till the end of the matches. They were the final games of the season and would either see him retain his crown or lose his two year streak. 

In the 5 minutes it took to get to Keith’s shared house with Shiro, Keith had found Hunk to be very welcoming and decided that he would like to know him more, if he could be friends with Lance for as long as he had, then he was proved right about Lance being more than he appeared. 

He dashed inside, knowing Shiro was still on shift in A and E, grabbed his shorts racquet, shoes and any club top he could find, changed as quickly as he could and stuffed his shoes and racquet into his sports bag and ran back to Hunk’s car. They made it to the university sports centre and Keith made his way to the courts and the other two to the view areas above the courts, where they could see all three courts being played. Keith started his warm up and stretches as Nathan approached him laughing.

“I have not seen you wear that shirt in years, it’s almost too small for you know.” He knew exactly which shirt he was now wearing and groaned, it was the fluorescent yellow one with the name DARK AND BROODING on the back from the end of year bbq in his first year. He had grown since then physically, emotionally, and mentally. knew he would never hear the end of it from Lance. At least this years t-shirt was a lot better. 

His first match came up, he won first serve and the game began, they used the American system, to 15 and no stupid rules about points and the serves. His boasts were where they needed to be and the drop shots were impossible, it was fair to say he won that game, with 7 clear points. He shook hands with his opponent and went to get some water and stretch off. 

His next game went quickly, the guy he was playing was inexperienced in this rank as he’d only just moved up, that didn’t mean that he would go that easy on him. Keith still wanted to win, he let a few points drop but ultimately won. Two other games flew by.

It was his last game, he was one game away from retaining his title, he lost the serve and took his stance, the serve went into the back he barely hit it on the rebound of the glass but it still hit the wall with a drop shot. He had to get back to the T. His opponent then kept forcing him to play defensive shots pushing him forwards and backwards. If he were any slower he wouldn’t have made the shots he did. He lost that point when he couldn’t return a smash that went straight into the corner after he landed a drop shot on the opposite side of the court. 

The two were evenly matched and each point was gained was a flip flop between Keith and his opponent, they had gone beyond 15 all and were playing for two clear points. He hit a strong boast that hit of the walls and landed behind him, where the guy wasn’t, he won the serve, 20-19 to him. He thought back to Lance had seen how he kept his right side open and went for it. His opponent had struggled to hit it when the ball was behind him when he was closer to the front wall. He just had to make a series of drop shots then smash high and hard and make it count. He wasn’t going to lose. 

He served fast and hard and hit straight, he tried to remain dominant of the T forcing the other player to run, to tire, even though he was pretty damn tired himself. He managed to get him close to the wall, himself included. When he was forced to run for a smash, he made a drop shot which was replied with another then once it was clear he waited, the ball bounced and he hit high and far, it hit the corner of the floor, walls and glass made a feeble bounce then rolled.

He'd won. Third year in a row and his title remained, he shook hands and left the court to get some water. It was a good long hard game and he was glad that it was over. He downed a water bottle and started to towel off all the sweat that had collected. He was then surrounded by his team as they had not only kept their mens singles title, they were the top squash team in the university leagues.

When he went to get his medal, he was required to have photos, normally he would have had a fake small smile but he saw Lance wave from the balconies and a genuine smile appeared as his photo was taken. When he saw it he asked for a print of it so he could have it on his wall, he was proud and Lance had helped him in some way, even if he couldn’t be with Lance in the way he so desperately wished, he could at least remind himself that Lance had helped him even if he never knew it. “Celebratory drinks tomorrow, as for now I think we all need a shower!” Nathan yelled over all the commotion, the other uni teams would be in town for another day. He would fulfil his duties as captain for the second year running next year and his first year as captain had led to victory. It was all good.

“KEITH! KEEEEEITH” Lance was yelling at him now, “KEEEITH” He had awkwardly half fun half walked over to him and enveloped him in a tight hug, Hunk joining in after.

“Guys I need a shower.”

“Don’t care you earned this.” Hunk responded. It felt nice having people to watch him play, Shiro couldn’t make his games due to working at the hospital, his adopted parents were too far away and the only people who probably cared where already on court. He could get used to this feeling of being wanted by more people, even if he would eventually lose it when they realised how needy he was. 

Hunk took them back to Keith’s, and had also asked if he could make use of their kitchen because, apparently celebratory cake was needed. It left Lance and Keith alone standing awkwardly in the hallway near the kitchen.

“Um, living room is this way” He awkwardly led them into the living room and saw Lances eyes light up as they surveyed the room. 

“Dude is that a piano? I never knew you could play. Don’t tell me you know the entirety of Welcome to the Black Parade,”

“Actually, I don’t. I never had an emo phase, I was always into jazz, classical and rock,”

“Oh. That’s pretty sweet dude!” 

Keith’s living room wasn’t that big or well furnished, there was the upright in the corner an arm chair and the small sofa.

“I trust I can leave you here while I quickly shower?” He asked.

“I got my phone and I can help Hunk if he needs it. I doubt it though. You go get clean,”

Keith headed up stairs and took his towel and pjs from his room and entered the bathroom. He put on the shower and just stood under the water. He was really fucked, he really was, all that he could remember was Lance’s smile and how it felt to be held in his arms when Lance could have injured himself by trying to run. Yes, Lance was a fast healer but he didn’t want to see him unhappy again. He internally groaned at himself and washed his hair and removed of all the sweat. He then quickly got dried and changed and went back down where he could smell the cake baking.

He made his way down to the living room and sat down beside Lance as Hunk had claimed the armchair and started to chat. They all talked about their degrees, the exams and tid bits of info from stupid questions such as which kind of kid where you – dinosaur or space. When the cake was done, hunk made some fresh whipped cream and enjoyed it immensely. He did note that Lance didn’t have any despite hearing the rumble of his stomach some minutes earlier. He just guessed he wasn’t hungry and thought no more of it. 

Soon after a wave of tiredness hit him and he drifted off to sleep.

Lance felt a weight upon his shoulder and looked down to see a mess of soft black hair. He smiled to himself and lay the sleeping Keith down on the sofa and pulled one of the blankets that were on the sofa over him. His smile never left his face as they left a note and made their own way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this!!!! And yeah the terms i used actually are the terms used in sqaush and its a very fast paced game so usually when it goes on for a long time you are usually evenly matched or you're helping to give confidence to a newer player. 
> 
> I really did love writing this and no idea when next update will be though should be a week at most ish but exams ¬.¬
> 
> im on tumblr - theshadowsandsilhouettes


	8. He Did Not So Much Fall, But Saunter Vaguely Downwards.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk is the ultimate friend, he and Shay lay the ground work for their plan, Pidge has revelations and Keith is just a nerd in general

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this may be a bit of a filler chapter but its laying up some stuff for other chapters!! There's multiple POV in this. Lance has some depressive and anxiety driven thinking in this in the first quarter. If you dont want to read, skip to "Later that afternoon, Lance and Hunk were busy getting ready for their evenings outs"
> 
> this is over 4000 words long and enjoy!!!

Keith woke up an hour later and saw that the room was empty and a note was left on the table that stood in the living room. 

Hi Keith,  
You fell asleep and we took our leave, the kitchen has been cleaned and money for food replenishment has been left too. Dr Shirogane can also help himself to the cake as well as you. Hope you slept well, Hunk and Lance. 

He wondered back into his room and prepared for the long night he was going to suffer through. His insomnia started to kick in as once he was awake. He was used to this by now and sat on his bed till morning came. He heard Shiro come in at three am and then decided that he had enough of just staring up at the ceiling and started to listen to an audiobook playing through his headphones. He had a plethora to choose from, he had finished the radio series of Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy, all five series in a week. He hadn’t listened to the radio version of Good Omens in a while and lay back listening to it with quiet appreciation that he could relax without the worry of exams for a while. 

Hunk was a kind person and he knew when something was wrong. And something was wrong with Lance, so he consulted the only person he trusted with anything in regards to Lance. 

Head Chef: Pidge, have you seen Lance actually eat recently?  
Head Chef: Like more than an apple or a yogurt for any meal  
Head Chef: Im getting concerned  
Curse My Short Little Arms: Now that you mention it no.  
Curse My Short Little Arms: God  
Curse My Short Little Arms: Fuck  
Curse My Short Little Arms: He’s at it again isn’t he?  
Curse My Short Little Arms: At this rate he’s gonna go off the scale soon  
Curse My Short Little Arms: How did we miss this?  
Head Chef: If he doesn’t want something seen, he will do his dman hardest to not let it show and carry on as normal  
Head Chef: Damn sorry – been up most the night.  
Head Chef: You’ve met Keith Kogane Right?  
Curse My Short Little Arms: Takashi Shirogane’s brother? Yeah we’ve meet, talked to him a bit but not much. He’s a good guy.  
Head Chef: He’s been sitting in Lances physio sessions and starting to hang outside of them. I even saw them playing guitar hero together. Lance rarely plays that cos of how much it reminds him of his family.  
Head Chef: Should I ask him to keep an eye on him?  
Curse My Short Little Arms: Might be an idea, the more eyes we have on him, the better we can help him.  
Curse My Short Little Arms: He’s a brother to me and I care about him  
Curse My Short Little Arms: If you ever show this to him, I will hack into your food blog and ruin the recipes.  
Head Chef: And they say ethical hacking isn’t useful or a real degree.  
Curse My Short Little Arms: Don’t you forget it. 

Hunk found Keith’s contact and sent a message,

Head Chef: Hi this is hunk, lances flat mate  
Mullet McMulletface: hi, thanks for the cake.  
Head Chef: This might be a weird thing to ask, but  
Head Chef: Would you be able to do me and our friend Pidge a favour?  
Mullet McMulletface: Pidge Holt? And yeah?  
Head Chef: That’s them, Can you keep an eye on Lance for us? We think hes walking a fine line abut being ok. And we are getting worried.  
Head Chef: *about  
Head Chef: Also can you make sure he eats something after physio sessions? Even if it is an apple or orange. No bananas he hates them with a passion.  
Mullet McMuletface: Ok will do. doesnt sound too hard.  
Head Chef: He may not look it but Lance is a slippery fucker when he wants to be. And well done once again.

Hunk really did hope that Keith would do so. He had been friends with Lance since he and Pidge sat next to him in their first maths lecture and here they were four years later. He had seen how having PKU affected Lance, he was always hesitant around food, he made it as if he was picky but he could see under that bravado and see how much it warped his perception of food and especially with the meds. Lance just claimed that its disgusting taste and texture made him better at taking shots but it was disgusting. And after some of the stories Lance told him of his childhood and the way he brushed it off with “I got used to it, it was fine”, he knew Lance had issues and accepted them to make everyone else not worry.

But Hunk did, he had seen how Lance had been in second year when exams came and how he forgot to eat. How he physically and emotionally changed too when he couldn’t cope and cried into Hunk and all the PKU came out and how he was avoiding taking his Coolers to spare Hunk from the smell and all the annoying attachments that came with having PKU. From then, Hunk made him meals that he could eat despite there not being much variation on Lances fruit, veg, rice and potato menu. He even tried the coolers and though they were disgusting, he assured Lance that they weren’t offending him and that he should start taking them again. Hunk was there and Lance got back on diet. He still didn’t use the low protein products nor when he was off diet did he eat anything with protein, he just didn’t eat and avoided food like the plague. 

He just hoped that he and Pidge could find a way to help their friend, neither wanted to Lance suffer no matter how much they teased each other. 

Rock From Space: Hey xx  
Head Chef: Hey Hun, why you up so early?  
Rock From Space: there was a meteor shower and I haven’t actually slept yet.  
Rock From Space: Stop giving me that disappointed look, I can feel it through the screen.  
Rock From Space: sent a sticker  
Rock From Space: sent a sticker  
Rock From Space: sent a sticker  
Rock From Space: sent a sticker  
Head Chef: I just want my girlfriend to not fall asleep on me tonight! Though youre adorable so its win win for me either way xxxx  
Head Chef: sent a gif  
Rock From Space: Said the person who usually falls asleep on me.  
Head Chef: we still up for the tricking Lance part?  
Rock From Space: Of course Hun xxxx They still have no idea?  
Head Chef: Not at all.  
Rock From Space: This will work if only you can resist kissing me  
Head Chef: I’ll get to do that later anyway  
Rock From Space: hahahahah true xxx I gotta get to work, will eb round about 6 xxx  
Rock From Space: Sent a sticker  
Head Chef: Sent a sticker

Hunk heard Lance shuffle about the flat and the rustle of a yogurt pot and clatter of cutlery spilling on the floor and a very muffled string of words that was undoubtedly Lance swearing in Spanish. When he knew Lance was in his room, Hunk went to the kitchen and saw the yogurt pot still on the table, completely forgotten. He took it and knocked on Lance’s door and gently pushed it open. Lance was there in tears. 

He placed down the pot and went over to the hunched figure on the bed.

“Touch or no?” Lance only nodded silently as the tears fell fast down his face, Lance was strong to keep going through everything but it occasionally came out and this was one such time. Hunk lay his arms around Lance as an offering of comfort, which Lance gratefully sank into. Lance turned to face Hunk and placed his head on his shoulder and just cried. After a while, Lance lay down with his head on Hunk’s lap.

“I was trying to be strong while Mama was here, I didn’t want to worry her, and then I started to walk,”

“You are strong though, look how far you’ve come in 3 months, Lance, 3 months! Especially with the kind of break you had,” Hunk started to card through Lance’s hair as he knew it helped to calm him down and feel better.

“Hasn’t stopped me from being useless. And what am I going to do know? I can’t trampoline again. Ever. What am I going to do now?” Lance’s world as falling apart and Hunk didn’t know how to stop it but help absorb the blows of the falling debris. 

“This feeling won’t last, Lance. We will find something and it may not be trampolining but we will. I know it’s hard to see right now but we will. You’re allowed to feel like this too. I can’t do much other than be here for you and to help you however you need me to help. As long as it’s not a crime. I ain’t going down for you and Pidge because you two lack of any forms of a conscience when it comes to pranks,”

He managed to get a laugh from Lance at that.

“Can you just stay for a while please? I don’t want to be alone,”

“Of course Lance,” Lance shifted so Hunk could lay down on the double bed and wrapped and arm around Lance, who seemed to relax a bit at his touch. Hunk knew there was a lot more that was being left unsaid but didn’t push, Lance would tell him in his own time. He had no right to push and now was not the time. Not even remotely. 

 

Later that afternoon, Lance and Hunk were busy getting ready for their evenings out, Lance with Pidge and the rest of the trampoline club and Hunk with Shay, who still hadn’t gotten together despite the obvious attraction for each other. After his episode that morning he was debating on whether it was a good idea to go to the bbq, but decided he might as well, he had already paid and he wouldn’t be going out with them. Even though he loved the sport, the club itself was very cliquey and he never felt at home with people other than Pidge. Who he had convinced in first year to try out and had gotten very good in a year to prove that despite being small they were as good as anyone else. 

He opened the door for Shay when she knocked and Hunk came into the hallway, looking like he’d seen the most beautiful thing on earth. Shay was very pretty and they looked at each other awkwardly and pulled in for a very awkward hug. They pulled apart and it looked like they were going to kiss. Please just fucking kiss and spare us all, thought Lance, it was getting ridiculous. The two before him quickly looked away and started to head out to the planetarium where Shay worked. Idiots. The pair of them. Lance shook his head as he grabbed a cooler and the fruit of the kitchen work surface and put it in his bag. He was getting better with walking too, the stairs weren’t hell and the short walk to Pidge’s wasn’t that much of a bother to him. 

“They’re both ridiculous. Both insufferable idiots. They should just kiss already,” Pidge was on the floor laughing literally. They had opened the door to see Lance seething, and it was fucking hilarious. 

“Lets go, as much as you don’t socialise outside the sport hall with them, they were there,”

“True my little pigeon. True,” It wasn’t a long walk to the guys house but it was still a walk that Lance wasn’t looking forward to due to the massive fuck off hill. Pidge looked at him and bit their lip,

“We can take a taxi back, after all, you’re still staying round mine right? I’ve still got injustice if you want to try to beat me? Like that will ever happen but still,” “Bring it” They smiled at the fact that they got Lance to stop complaining, it would take his mind of the pain they decided. “Hey, at least Coran will be here, remember last year when he basically had that bottle of vodka to himself?”

“Oh my god yes, and he still wonders why we call him the vodka aunt!! Though he can certainly hold his alcohol.” Laugh was laughing and Pidge was glad to see it, it didn’t mean that Lance wasn’t still hiding shit but it was one of his more natural laughs compared to the ones he knew he faked being around people in the trampoline club. Lance didn’t like to drink, they did and even though he was one of the best, Pidge saw him and themselves being shunned a bit because neither were big on drinking or going out.

When they arrived at the bbq, Pidge was dragged to a seat and the normal 'hello’s' and 'nice to see you’re walking' came by. Pidge felt anger towards them, no one had seen or spoken to Lance since his injury, no one had asked them how Lance was when they were at the final few weeks of training. Pidge was left alone and when they weren’t on the trampolines or spotting, they were on their laptop after it became evident that no one was going to talk to them. They had decided that they were quitting even though they liked the sport. But they could not stand the people any longer and they wanted out. 

It’s not as though they had no other sports to play, they remembered when they were helping with Shiro’s arm with her brother that his brother, Kevin or Keith or something along those lines had taught them the basics of squash when Pidge was getting frustrated with the coding. He had done it to help relieve steam and let out their anger in a way that was not going to injure themself. They would ask Shiro tomorrow if they could talk to Keith. Shiro did get on with Pidge a lot, Matt had been in his year and even though they were in different degrees they had been flat mates in halls and had caused all sorts of trouble, giving both their mothers headaches as they recounted their tales. 

They looked over to Lance when food was coming off the small bbq on the patio, by now they both had got used to the small things the British used instead of the ones they’d grown up with. Lance had some grilled veg and a bowl of fruit though that would be all he could eat anyway. Having PKU wasn’t glamorous and the last person who had tried to use Lance’s PKU as an excuse for veganism or as a fad diet, mysteriously had all accounts hacked to post nothing but rick rolls. Nothing traceable of course. It was ethical hacking at its finest, they had prided themselves on that. 

Pidge got their food and dragged Lance over to where Coran was standing, chatting to another member of the elite competitors. They chatted and eventually Lance and Pidge headed to leave, they were starting to drink and Coran offered them a lift down the hill as he went to go see Allura. They were old family friends and had helped Allura through the loss of her father a few years back. Pidge had met Allura a few times for their own physio sessions and when they were accompanying Lance to his. When they got to Pidge’s, the two of them sat and played well into the night, forgetting the bbq and how honestly awful it was for Lance who really was excluded because of the fact he didn’t go out, wasn’t there for the last competition and they had nothing to talk about now he was off the trampolines for good. They played various games until Lance headed home when he needed to catch some sleep. Pidge let him out their flat and went back to their project that they had started in preparation for their fifth year honours project, and boy it would be a good one. 

 

Keith was glad his brother was home for once when he was. It allowed him to relax and have fun riling up his older brother. He may not have been the best brother himself, especially when he was in his last years of secondary education and the first two years of his university studies. He was a loner with no desire for social interaction and had consigned himself to living in a shack in a desert somewhere far from human interaction. It was a better option than living alone with cats as cats meant people in some form or another. 

They both sat in their living room with Netflix on the tv, both eating tubs of Mackies ice cream and catching up. Shiro had been talking about his meeting with Allura discussing Lance’s recovery which had somehow lead to Shiro give Allura his contact details, for professional reasons, obviously. Keith could see the small smile that told him that Shiro though Allura was gorgeous, and even though he was gay, he still had eyes. He envied Allura’s hair and was debating with himself to ask for her hair care regime. 

They ended up gossiping about Slav. It wasn’t the guys real name due to confidentiality but he knew Shiro was dying to tell him about today’s antics. Slav had managed to reset the Days without Slav incidents. He had been harping on about alternate dimensions and questioning where his lion was, or the numerous possibilities of Shiro taking a blood sample would cause the greatest mass extinction even bigger than The Great Oxygenation Event of 2.3 billion years ago. Shiro had apparently smilde, took the sample anyway then proceeded to point out that they were all dying anyway. And then went to take a minute minute break and decided the best course of action was to scream Slav based insults into a pillow in his office. A method that had to be invoked after the mug incident. 

Slav had apparently also went on to talk about his engineering feats when he used to work in a massive engineering company and how a certain type of engine could be improved. As much as Shiro got annoyed with Slav, it wasn’t the poor guys fault. Being in hospital for indefinite amounts of time can have adverse effects on a person. He could be very interesting to talk to when he didn’t have bouts of paranoia. Slav was under the mental health department as well as orthopaedics as an outpatient and it really wasn’t his fault. Being a doctor was stressful and he never took it out on the patient. He had had patients worse than Slav that swore at him and other awful vile statements. Slav just managed to push his buttons when he was most stressed. 

Keith knew what he was getting into, at least with physio there would be less pressure on him and he could have his own private clinic eventually. 

“Hey Keith watch this,” Shiro said as he sent a video to their TV, and saw an orchestra playing the Capulets and Montagues 

“Shiro?..”

“SSHHHHH WAIT FOR IT,”

Then the brass came in, deep and rich, and then it wasn’t just The Capulets and Montagues, the trombones and a tuba started playing the imperial march. It fit in so well and sounded good. It wasn’t long till they had it on repeat and both were on the floor crying and laughing. 

Mullet McMulletface: WATCH THIS LANCE  
Mullet McMulletface: JUST DO IT  
Mullet McMulletface: sent a gif  
Mullet McMulletface: sent a link

“Hey Shiro, get over here” And then took a selfie of th pair of them laughing, it was shaky and blurred but it would do.

Mullet McMulletface: sent an image

What had started off as a movie night ended up scouring youtube for orchestra pranks, especially when Keith was involved in the wood wind section. There had been one piece with four forte inscriptions, so the clarinets, saxes and brass had decided they would make the loudest noises while their harpist recorded it all. They had all made a racket, one of the tuba players fell over and the looks from the violins of absolute horror made it worth it. Their conductor had burst out laughing and let them off because of the ffff’s. The violins were snobs anyway and always got all the good parts, the rest of the orchestra, Keith decided then and now, were allowed to have a bit of fun. We rarely got any cos of them strings, he thought to himself as he pressed play to the next video.

Somewhere around two that morning, the tv had been turned into a radio and was playing classic fm. 

“You seem happier recently. I’m glad for it, what changed though?” Inquired Shiro.

“Honestly? Lance.” Keith had learned to open up and trust his brother, he had been his rock when his mental health had taken a nose dive in second year and there was more tangible connection between them other than being adoptive siblings, it was as though they had been siblings from birth. “He’s introduced me to his friends and he’s included me and he hugged me. After I won my matches and they came and baked and they included me and made me feel like I was wanted. Shiro, they actually like me,”

“You like them, and by the sounds of it, especially Lance,”

Keith spluttered and protested. “No, Shiro no. I’ve only known him for like 2 months now. SHRIO!” He was yelling now as Shiro managed to wrestle him to the ground. Shiro had had a prosthetic for years now and had become well adapt at wrestling Keith to the ground with only one arm. Shiro never really wore his current prosthetic around the house, they had made it so everything was accessible and Shiro had many years to work out little tricks. 

“Ok, maybe I do a little. But it’s not going any further than this. He is first and foremost my friend,” Conceded Keith. 

“Keith, I know when you fall for someone you fall fast and hard. Don’t deny yourself happiness. You might be surprised,” Keith that Shiro knew something and that he wasn’t going to tell Keith. “I’m off to bed now, even though my shift starts at eleven, I want at least 5 hours sleep,” He ruffled Keith’s hair and climbed the stairs. 

Keith stayed on the living room floor and dragged his blanket over himself from the sofa and opened up his messages. Sir Lancelotl: WHAT THE FUCK  
Sir Lancelotl: THAT’S AMAAZINF  
Sir Lancelotl: AHJAAJJHDFJHBDAB  
Sir Lancelotl: IS THERE EVER A BAD PHTO OF YOU TWO  
Sir Lancelotl: Are you two angels? Did it hurt when you fell down from heaven.  
Mullet McMulletface: Shiro fell.  
Mullet McMulletface: I did not so much as fall but sauntered vaguely downwards.  
Sir Lancelotl: AGHGAKGJGFJGFLGDS  
Sir Lancelotl: YOU THREATEN PLANTS DON’T YOU.  
Sir Lancelotl: I bet you even have the spray bottle and do the whole routine of taking the weakest looking plant on a long walk never to return again?  
Sir Lancelotl: Keith?  
Sir Lancelotl: I bet you do  
Sir Lancelotl: and explains why imn always hearing queen when ever im around you. Like?  
Sir Lancelotl: if you’re Crowley, Does that make me Aziraphale??!!  
Mullet McMulletface: no.  
Sir Lancelotl: Meanie :P  
Sir Lancelotl: I didn’t know you liked these kind of books.  
Mullet McMulletface: You haven’t seen my room. There’s tonnes of books.  
Sir Lancelotl: Is that an invitation?  
Mullet McMulletface: no.  
Sir Lancelotl: just you wait ;)  
Mullet McMulletface: whatever you say.

Keith didn’t hear back from Lance as he started to listen to the bbc radio play of Neverwhere and assumed he’d fallen asleep. But Shrio was right, he did fall fast and so painfully hard. He was grateful that it wasn’t at that point yet and hoped it never would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this!!!
> 
> Trampoline club really did feel like that for me, and im a lot happier away from it even if it took me fucking up to realise it, and its how i felt about me not being able to trampoline or dance again too. 
> 
> that Music prank is real here the link ITS AMAZING -http://www.classicfm.com/composers/williams/news/brass-section-john-williams-prank/
> 
> and hope you enjoyed it!!
> 
> Again, update with be in the next week or so as i have an exam friday. so it will arrive whenever :D


	9. Irn Bru Was The Nectar Of The Gods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has an appointment, and the boys bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This does cover some mental health issues but not in any detail. It also says stuff that I've faced having PKU. otherwise its ok i think, if not please tell me!!! 
> 
> this is over 4600 words so theyre getting longer!!

Lance still felt awful the next morning, but he told himself to put himself together, he was being stupid. It wasn’t his fault that he messed up that one time on a trampoline, it wasn’t his fault he had to relearn how to walk and get used to carrying weight again. He would find a new sport, he would get better, he would. He intensified his stretches with his foot, and decided to face the day. 

Then the next and then the day after that. 

It had been more than three months since his initial visit to A and E and Lance had returned to the orthopaedic outpatients. He had his x-rays taken again to ensure nothing had moved out of place and was sent back to the waiting area to wait for Shiro. Eventually the nurse called his name and was led to a small sectioned area. He sat on the seat that was there and waited for Shiro to arrive. 

“Ah, Lance, I see that we are walking again?”

“Yes Dr Shirogane,”

“Shiro will do, and I am surprised you’re walking this quickly. We only get this kind of break about three times a year and this is one of the more serious breaks we deal with outside of those in collisions. Most people don’t start walking for another month and a half,”

“I’m not most people,” replied Lance, if a little forlornly.

“I can see that, you’ve even managed to get Keith out the house for more than squash,”  
Lance made a weird squeak and instantly blushed, he had forgotten that Shiro was Keith’s older brother. 

“Its good. And you are doing well too. Your x-rays show nothing is out of place and almost healed completely. Give it a couple of more weeks then you can start easing back into exercise. Nothing strenuous,”

“My friends and I go on a walk during the summer holidays and in a week and a half too, would I be able to go if I minimise the weight I carry?”

“As long as you wear boots that support your ankle and avoid areas where footing would be unstable, I don’t see why not,”

Shiro then made him do some exercises with his foot to further judge whether another appointment would be necessary.

“Are you still going to participate in sports?”

“I hope to, not sure which but yes,”

“Right, I think I’ll see you once more, before the semester restarts, and then you can be free of this place,” Shiro said with a smile, it was good that Lance wasn’t taking it lying down and was oddly happy to see someone bounce back from this kind of injury. Lance was young and pins and the plates had been the best way to ensure his speedy recovery. But it was still quicker than the average person, and even the fact that he had PKU – with the lack of protein in his diet, he had healed fast and well. 

“I will talk to Dr Altea again to discuss what I’ve observed and she will decide how often you will be attending physio sessions as I know you already saw her before this accident,”

“I did intend to stay in those sessions. I know how much muscle damage can affect performance,”

“Glad to hear, if you go to the desk and tell them that I want to see you before the first of September. Good luck Lance,” Shiro said and Lance got up and prepared his bag. He made his next appointment with the outpatient department and then caught the bus to Allura’s clinic. 

At his appointment, Allura reduced his sessions to once a week and decided that strengthening the muscle ligaments was the best direction to take, she knew what the summer hikes were like when she’d accidentally bumped into the trio at Lake Windermere. Lance had said that he didn’t want to be back in A and E again with damage, and knew that the weak muscles in his ankle could prove problematic. 

The session went well, his balance was back to where it used to be and the injury only twinged at worst. He could also walk properly now with his weight only slightly further forward than it used to be. It was going well and he started to see how far he had come, especially after what Shiro had said. When it was over after the hour was up, Keith reached for his shoulder.

“You wanna hang out?” Keith was nervous, he didn’t know why but he was. It was only Lance, and that was the problem, it was Lance. “Like go back to Shake-Aways? For more than half an hour now exams are over,” It was only one pm and he knew Lance had caught the bus here. 

“Yeah sure! I’d love to, got nothing else planned, I probably would have just played final fantasy all day,” Keith’s shift was now over and they both made their way out of the clinic, he steered Lance from the pavement and over the small carpark and towards his bike.

“You want me to get on that. Me who has injuries over the smallest thing and you want me to get on a motorbike,” Lance deadpanned as Keith lifted up the seat to get his helmet out and the spare he carried for Shiro. 

“It’s the quickest way to town and yeah? Heres the spare one. It should fit, I think,”

“You think, wow, I’m filled with confidence.” Lance replied, voice fripping with sarcasm but he sat on the back and wrapped his arms lightly around Keith.

“I may be going slow for you but you’ll have to hold on tighter,” Keith felt Lance’s arms now holding him, and it felt good to be back in them. He kicked off and they sped down the roads to the city centre, it wasn’t that far of a drive and within ten minutes they had arrived. The uni campus wasn’t far off and they had a five minute walk to get to their destination.

“So what do you think?” Keith inquired and Lance was speechless, it looked like he was trying to find his feet again. “This was you’re first time on a bike wasn’t it?” Lance only nodded and started to walk, each stride getting more confident. If anyone looked at Lance, Keith noted, they wouldn’t be able to tell he had was in a cast three ish months ago. It didn’t take long to get there, Keith was torn between and Irn Bru milkshake or Brandysnap but then chose lemon meringue. Lance was again looking at the smoothies and ordered a cranberry and raspberry one without the yogurt. Keith still thought it strange but he decided that the Scottish had it right with Irn Bru, the only place where coca cola was outsold in the world. It was liquid sugar and had seen Keith through many a squash and exam session with it by his side and it being more effective than any energy drink. The orange liquid of the gods.

They climbed the stairs and sat in the same sofas they did last time, and relaxed. They started to talk, they had started to get to know each other more and more over the last couple of months in Lance’s sessions and knew the basics but nothing more. Keith wanted to rectify that, he wanted to know what made Lance happy, where his smile reached his eyes and meant it. He wanted to know what made Lance laugh and what he wanted in life. He wanted Lance in all honesty but he had already resigned himself to being his friend and he was happy for that. He would be happy for whatever Lance decided to give to him, no matter how small it seemed.

“So why squash? And the nicknames?” Lance asked when the topic of sport eventually arose. 

“Shiro used to play competitively, then got me to play when I was sixteen, too late to get into any major competitions but I got good enough to play for clubs. I didn’t cos that was Shiro but it helped me relax and think. Then came uni, and I started off playing with the club and competed in the university leagues, I started off a rank below where I am now. 

“And the nicknames. Well, each year we are all given or we choose nicknames for the club championships and end of year bbq. My first, as you saw, was Dark And Brooding. The second was At Least My Balls Are Relevant. Last years was Squashage Fest, and this years, well, it’s a good one!” Lance was laughing at theses, it wasn’t cute or adorable but it was full and real. Keith returned it with his own small chuckle, this years was really good. 

“How did you start trampolining?”

“My younger brother did gymnastics and the trampoline coaching was before it. I saw and I was fascinated by it, I begged Mama to let me join, she agreed after she spoke with Papa and me and we decided that all my pocket money would go towards the tuition, not that I minded of course. I’m from a big family so its not hard to find someone to play with at that age. I started and I got very good. I competed and when I got to an age where I could work, I did and payed my way for competitions and leotards, with some of the left over money, I saved up for things for myself. Then I met my synchro partner and we did well, together and individually. 

“Then I decided that I wanted to focus on my education. Sports was good but I didn’t have the heart to shove myself fully into the worlds. I still loved learning in school, especially about space. I applied abroad cos of the American tuition fees, living here is still cheaper. There was also the fact that I could be under the free healthcare too. 

“Even though I fucked up, I don’t regret a single moment of it. I’m just wondering what I’ll do next year as Shiro’s given me the green light to ease back into sports in two weeks,” Lance then realised how much he had said and looked down in annoyance.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that much, God I’m and idiot. And there I go again, I’m so sorry,” Lance berated himself. Keith put a hand on his shoulder, and looked into Lances face, trying to make sure lances attention wasn’t anywhere else but him.

“No, you didn’t, I like hearing you talk. I like getting to know you, and I want to get to know you more, the good, the bad, everything. We’re friends after all,” Lance gave a weak smile and nodded. It looked like Lance was going to go for a hug but thought better of it, but the conversation moved on. Lance talked about how his family had moved from Cuba to the States because of his father’s job – a promotion in the chemical engineering business he worked in and how his Mama had found work as a Spanish teacher in high schools.

Keith in return told some stories about the time he had with Shiro after he was adopted, while not mentioning the fact he was adopted. There were many embarrassing stories and he knew he would tell Lance of how his mother went missing when he was young and how his father had left him when things got tough at some point; but now wasnt the time nor did he want to breach an unsaid line in the sand. Keith had been in care for a couple of years then he met Shiro, whose family then adopted him and they then moved to the UK as their jobs moved. Keith also talked about was glad to be out the US and vastly preferred the lack of guns, Irn Bru and the fresh start he had when they had moved. The education system may have been flawed but it was still better than the one he had left. He preferred the weather and that there was people but there was still so much to see and do. He could walk near enough everywhere and it was all fine. 

They talked about their favourite cities, with Keith loving Edinburgh and Lance deciding that Keith was wrong, the best city was obviously London. The time passed and all was going well. Lance had started to talk about the trip Pidge, Hunk and himself were planning. 

“Hey, you should come with us! Pidge is dragging Matt along and Hunk want to bring Shay, do you wanna come with?”

“Where you walking?”

“Dartmoor. So down south, it’s going to be so good! It’s only a five day trip and 30km ish and we are staying away from Killer Tor this year, never again after the last time, we got stuck in cloud and fog for three hours and took us ages to get off of it. Getting up proved to be the easy bit. It was just the three of us at the time and never again,”

“Count me in, I’m sure Allura will allow me to have some time off. You joining the rucksack club then when semester starts?”

“No, I don’t really want to, who you walk with makes the walk either really fun or god awful. I don’t know what to do but squash looks like a lot of fun,”

“It is,”

“Can you teach me then? Like when my foot is completely healed before the semester starts again?”

“Sure,” Keith realised what he was getting into, helping Lance play his sport, spending time with Lance, just being able to be around each other outside of the physio sessions. Lance then invited Keith back round to his apartment and attempted to race Keith up the stairs but after the first flight decided no, that was a bad idea as his foot started to give way. They walked up the remainder of the stars and Lance took Keith to his room. It wasn’t big but the fireplace was covered in books, there was posters over the walls and there were photos on his mirrors above the chest of draws. His bed side cabinet had some art stuff, some hand held games consoles and a water bottle. 

The double bed took up most of the floor space but had three duvets on it and four pillows arranged to look comfy. It looked lived in. The bed was the only place to sit, so Keith stood awkwardly at the door, slightly afraid of what Lance would say. Lance himself had flung himself on his bed and was looking expectantly at Keith, who sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to sit on Lance or be in his radius lest his own self control lapse and just reach for his hand. 

“Keith, I’d like you to stay for dinner. It helps explain something I want to tell you.” Keith’s attention was piqued, he was confused and shot Lance a quizzical look. “It would mean a lot Keith. It’s something I don’t share much or at all. And you’re my friend and one that’s become close so very quickly,” Lance looked so dejected that Keith just had to act.

“May I give you a hug?” He asked.

“What?”

“You heard me noodle limbs, can I give you a hug?” he repeated. 

“I’m just surprised you asked, most people just attached themselves without asking, its mostly my siblings but still, it’s nice to be asked. And what sort of a name is noodle limbs?!” he inquired indignantly. 

“You occasionally call me mullet. Can’t I return the favour?” 

“Nope,” Lance flashed Keith one of his genuine smiles, “You won’t be able to complain about them anymore,”

“So, can I hug you?”

“Yes, I’m always down for a hug,” Keith moved over the bed and threw his arms round Lance, he had somehow straddled Lance’s lap so that they were facing each other. His arms were around his neck and Keith’s were drawn to the space posters that were just above Lance’s head. Lance returned the hug with his arms round his waist, akin to the way Lance had on the motorbike earlier, but not out of necessity but with something else.

“I’m glad you trust me with what you want to say. No matter what it is, I’ll accept it and I’ll accept you,” Keith murmured. “Thank you with trusting me, I do to. I’ll even start,” He removed himself and looked at Lance. 

“I call Shiro my brother when in reality I was adopted, my mother ended up missing when I was young, she’s where I get my Korean genes. I never knew her and don’t really know nor care why she left. I never knew her. All I have of her is a surname and a ceremonial knife. My father left me when I was six. He just up and left. One day he took me to school then no one came to pick me up. Over an hour I was waiting at that school, I got to play with the stuff and read what I wanted so I didn’t realise what was going on. The school had tried phoning family members but there weren’t any on record and they couldn’t get hold of my father. I was then sent into care.

“Over the next 8 years, life was hard, I had some money a distant family member left me which I spent on music programmes, continuing the lessons I had started just before he left. I got the grades and then one day I was running. I had no idea where but no one cared about me, I was always to the side, an after thought. I hadn’t any friends and I realised I was gay a few years earlier and had to hide that side of myself.” Keith had gotten out of Lance's lap and had got comfy on one of the top duvets, liking it’s embrace from the waist down. Lance was sat cross legged in front of him with his attention directly on him.

“Shiro found me sitting on the curb near where he worked, he was 19 at the time and home from his first year at uni. He took me into that dinner and gave me some food for no other reason than “I look liked I needed it” he then asked me who I was what I was doing and the usual. He told me to wait where I was and gave me some food to tide me over till the end of his shift. He paid for the food he gave me and took me home promising to see me the next day.

“He kept to his promise too, he had told his parents and they came to see me, they liked me and asked if I wanted out and have a chance at a family. I was fourteen, and the chances of me getting adopted were so slim I said yes, Shiro had cared and so did they. We moved to the UK half a year later. The Shirogane’s became my family.

“Despite the opportunities I was given, I still somehow managed to fuck up but I had people looking out for me, Shiro got me into squash to help release all the emotions because “a wall won’t care” and I liked it. They let me continue my music as it was one of the few ways I could safely express myself. When everything got bad in second year of uni where my social anxiety prevented so much as well as depression. The separation and abandonment issues. All I was doing was working and revising and some time on court. They helped me when I broke, they were there to support me and they helped me. I got better and stopped needing CBT last academic year,”

Keith looked Lance directly in the eyes, “Only Shiro and my parents know this. That’s how much I trust you Lance. I really do. So no matter what you want to tell me, I’m not running away,” Lance looked like he was going to cry, “Oh god, please don’t cry, I didn’t mean to do that, Jesus, I’m so bad at this,”

“You really wont judge or pity me or run?” Keith shook his head, “It’s easier to show then verbalise, it also gives me the opportunity to spend more time with you. Can I?” Lance had his arms out stretched and Keith tried to seem not as eager as he actual was to position themselves in them. 

“Thank you for trusting me Keith,” He loved how Lance said his name. They just sat there for a while, Keith in Lance’s arms. 

“You want to take some photos? Like I want to keep some memories to look back on when I finish uni, its something I do with my closest friends” Lance sounded like he was hiding the extent, and Keith soon found out, Lance was hiding the snapchat filters.

They took random photos on the bed, Lance posing as some random Greek and Roman statues with Keith posing as some of the more feminine ones, though they both agreed that most renaissance artists who used classical styles in their art, had never seen a woman quite obviously. They then moved onto visual puns with an ever increasing exasperated Keith. Then selfies then started. Keith looking out of place and Lance just shining in the limelight, as more were taken Keith was more in his comfort zone. The filters then started and only ended Lance’s memory on his phone was mostly depleted. They had fun just messing about, acting like they were best friends who had known each other their whole lives but that who Lance was, he drew people in and was so damn friendly. Keith knew it was one of the myriad of reasons he had been attracted to him.

Keith had knew that he was asexual in that he didn’t really see sexual attraction in anyone and was very sex repulsed, but he was definitely homoromantic. All the way and Lance was not only confirming this, there was an inescapable feeling of belonging when he was around him. He was developing a crush he realised. Though Lance still hadn't told him what he had wanted to though Keith wouldn't push, it was obviously something sensitive to Lance. 

Enough time had passed to start to cook food, and Lance led them to the kitchen. Keith noticed a blue and white box on top of the small freezer, and Lance started to get vegetables and some potatoes out of the fridge/freezer and started to peel the potatoes and carrots. 

Lance started to talk while he was working.

“I have PKU, aka phenylketonuria, I lack the enzymes to digest protein. You probably know this cos of the brief mention in medical studies. But mine is the severe kind. Eight grams of protein a day but I barely make it to three. I was bullied for it till I got to the point where I didn’t eat, and I still suffer from the consequences of doing so, the tremors in my hand and the depression I have can be linked to it. I’m on meds to combat them and have been for a while. I got good at hiding my problems and I scared my parents shitless in my earlier years. It hurts to revisit those memories but it was my only way of expressing how I felt,” He put all the veg in one pot and the potatoes in another and left them to boil.

“When I say I didn’t eat, I mean the very bare minimum to survive over seven years. I still don’t like eating in front of people and I rarely trust people with food around me. Its only my parents, Hunk and Pidge and now you. I still wear facades to make people believe I’m ok, especially with me being the older brother, I literally go till I can no longer take it and I just break. Last time was only a few days because of how I feel when I stop. I think about my foot, how I fucked up and how awful it all is. I’m dealing with it but it’s hard,” The veg and potatoes had boiled and strained, Lance started to mash the potatoes with butter and then served the veg on two plates. 

Lance offered some condiments and placed the plates on the table in the kitchen with knives and forks. Keith kept silent and offered his support quietly while Lance was talking, like he had for him. Now the smoothies made sense and how he didn’t eat much or at all, the mention of the free health care as he was sure all his meds were expensive and the protein free foods. It must have been awful being on the US health care system with PKU.

“Oh Lance,” Poor, sweet Lance. People had made him feel so bad that he starved himself and damaged him. He knew those tremors would be with him for life, he wore facades to hide who he really was. Lance lived with many faces being who ever for people. But he survived, he was here and he trusted Keith, he had his family, by blood and change meetings that never left. “Why would I ever run from this? How can I? You’re brave, you’ve survived and you’ve got this far. You’ve done so well Lance. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I promise,”

“Thank you Keith. It means the world it really does,” 

They continued to eat in a comfortable silence and Keith cleared up as Lance had cooked for them. 

“Did you mean it when you said yes to coming walking with us? It is five days in Dartmoor,”

“I’d love to Lance, I get to spend time with you guys and it would be good to see Pidge and Matt again. Thank you for the meal too, it was lovely,” He also loved the sparkle in Lance’s eyes. 

“We are finalising our route on Sunday so do join, it’s going to be here. I’ll message the time considering the Holt’s inability to go to sleep at decent times,” 

Keith realised the time and realised he had to be home, he had promised to be home for Just A Minute on radio 4, it was a thing he and Shiro had done since he was adopted, a way to just laugh at something so completely unrelated to life in the form of a great game show. 

“I need to go, I’ve got mandatory brother bonding time. I can’t lose my streak of never missing it – I can’t let Shrio win this,” Lance laughed and accepted this and wished him luck on the journey home.

Lance lay on his bed, curled up in the duvets, he’d been very open with Keith, the façade had fallen away so very quickly and he trusted Keith so much. In return, Keith had been open with him, he’d even come out to him, intentionally or not. In a small recess of his brain, he was glad that he stood a chance of catching his eye, he was so sweet, his eyes, his arms just the entirety of Keith. He internally groaned, he was fucked, he had a crush on one of his closest friends. He wanted to keep Keith as a friend and not fuck it up. He mattered to Lance too much and considering Keith’s own confessions, he mattered to Keith in some way. 

He curled up into a ball and put on some classical music to calm down his mind and just follow the music. He slept well that night, drifted of remembering how Keith’s arms felt around him and how he had accepted him. Flaws and all. It felt good and was comforting to know, even if it only lasted for the next year until they graduated and became good memories for each other. Meanwhile, Keith was up playing on his piano, thinking of a boy with eyes like the ocean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, exams suck and i cant sleep still. Depression also sucks and so does having pku aka my life. revision is draining what left of the soul i never had. 
> 
> Currently living on Tea and Irn Bru, and as a true scot, Irn Bru is bloody gorgeous. 
> 
> next update whenever cos exams and insomnia are a great combination.
> 
> Im on tumblr - theshadowsandsilhouettes :D


	10. Hey, Chief.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith plays squash, Lance talks to someone and Keith gets in touch with feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [The scene from cabin pressure](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me_qte-oSDE%22) Its Rodger Alum just do it.
> 
>  
> 
> [Because I love Andre Rieu and its Ave Maria](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3d4xXvF2ukY)
> 
>  
> 
> also  
> [Speigal Im Speigal for the end.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hV4LlCtvgwE)
> 
> One exam down, two more to go and enjoy the over 5000 words :D

Allura had signed him off back to his weekly meetings and given the green light for Lance to go walking as long as he didnt go near any snap grass, bog or carry too much weight. Though the weight wasn't the main issue, it was if he fell down and couldn’t get up. Keith added his own condition, if he suspected anything was wrong with Lances foot, he would be able to take a look at it. Lance agreed and made their way back to Lance’s flat, it was a Friday and Keith had decided that he would see if Lance had heard of something, he doubted it but he had lived in Britain long enough to know the classics that paraded in BBC Radio 4. When they were in Lance’s room, he pulled out his tablet.

“Do you trust me.”

“Yes, why? You’re not gonna go breaking my shit are ya?”

Keith didn’t even deign to give Lance a response except one glare. He just connected up to the speaker and play. The familiar jingle came to be heard and Abu Dhabi started to play and Roger Alum’s voice could be heard. Cabin Pressure was the first BBC radio programme Keith had listened to while trying to find the classical music station. All he had heard was

“Hey Chief, I might be wrong but I think we’re flying into a mountain. This makes me feel… scared of the mountain. One thing we could do is pull up and fly over the mountain. How does that sound to y *explosion sound*” He had started to laugh and started from the beginning with Abu Dhabi. He decided to lie across Lance’s bed and just relax and listen. He had three episodes to convince Lance, the first because, well It Abu Dhabi and a nice intro, then Ipswich with that phrase that made him latch on and then Limerick because, well, Lance would surely find out soon enough. He was very involved in becoming one with the bedding that he didn’t notice Lance had also lay down next to him, just enough for their arms to touch, even though there was room elsewhere on the bed. He could feel whenever Lance found something funny, even if he didn’t vocalise it as his shoulders and arms would move.

When Abu Dhabi finished, Keith paused the audio and asked what Lance thought of it.

“It’s hilarious, I’ll give you that. And Benedict Cumberbatch? Like I prefer him in this than anything ever seen him in. But I swear I feel Martin in my soul.”

“Good, cos I am a combination of both Douglas and Carolynn, just so we know whose superior here!”

“Did you just joke with me. Like Keith, have you nearly used your yearly quota already?”

“Shut up Lance and listen to the next one, it’s from the next series – they do it alphabetically – but is, as Arthur would put it, Brilliant.” Keith was chuckling at his own reference which made Lance’s eye roll even more hilarious, apparently, Keith making stupid references made Lance smile and he was going to keep doing it. Ipswich started to play and somehow over the half hour it was playing, they had moved so that they were sitting up against the wall laughing into each other’s shoulders. Keith had been swatted at when he started to quote the lines as they were spoke, especially the Hey Chief parts. Or the other parts. Or just the whole thing really, he had listened to all four series enough to know most by heart, even forcing Shiro to listen to them on long journeys to help alleviate the boredom of being stuck on the M25, which might have been a satanic sigil for all he cared cos it really did scream misery for anyone stuck on it. 

“That was hilarious, you have any more?”

“Who do you think I am, course I do, here, you’ll love this one, and your name works, too” Keith then grinned rather evilly and in the most cartoonishly evil voice he said Lance’s name, “Lance McClain.” Lance shot a confused look but accepted that he would understand once he had listened to the next episode. They got comfy again, just touching. Though it didn’t last long as within the first fifteen seconds Keith had fallen of the side of the bed from laughing at the intro. Lance paused the episode to laugh at Keith before helping him up. Keith couldn’t stop chuckling at the very least throughout the entire half hour, though Lance was struggling to keep a straight face too. 

The limericks and the games and just the entire episode made for good bonding and it was fun. Keith had fun showing parts of himself to Lance, and he liked being open with more people. He felt like he was finding a family again. One that wouldn’t leave him like the one who left him did. Yes, it was the past but it came to haunt him in the early hours of a sleepless night, reminding himself of the new family he had found and chosen to be with. He had come so far over the last few years and if eighteen year old Keith saw him now, he thought, he might have had hope. 

They were interrupted when they heard giggling from the corridor, Hunk had returned and Shay had return with him, they looked happy, even though some awkward glances were shared, and he could swear he saw Lance’s eye twitch. 

“If you can’t feel the romantic tension radiating of the two of them, you must be living on Kerberos.” Lance murmured into Keith’s ear. Keith returned Lance’s comment with a small grin, they were up to something but there was no romantic tension, that’s what he was currently living in. They were just being romantic and playing them up. They ended up having a meal cooked by Hunk and then Keith went home, it had been a good day.

Lance had wondered back into his room when the two in the kitchen had been sharing small glances and avoiding subjects and left them to it. He remembered he hadn’t messaged Keith the details for the planning.

Sir Lancelotl: Hey, we’re meeting at ours at 2pm on Sunday, will see you then :D He then found the four series of cabin pressure and started the first. He found himself being more drawn in to them and was glad that Keith showed them to him. He had no idea why but he was happy that Keith was letting him in and he could still feel his contact and hear his laugh. He was happy with whatever Keith gave to him, no matter how small or big it seemed to Keith. He was keeping his crush to himself, he had promised he wouldn’t flirt with him, not without his permission. His friendship mattered more despite only knowing him for a few months, Lance had a personality that drew people in and those he was friends with, the bonds ran deep and could do so within a short space of time. He was an open book most the time even if he had a few façades to wear when things got bad.

He fell back on to his bed and became a duvet burrito, the weight was comforting and familiar but it wasn’t another person, it wasn’t a sibling or someone else and damn, he did get lonely. It wasn’t fun being some kind of fifth wheel, everyone had someone at least, Hunk and Shay had each other, Pidge had her brother and Keith had his. His family was an ocean away, and he didn’t want to burden them with his problems, they were small and not that bad. Others had it worse after all. 

Lance fell asleep listening to Cabin Pressure with Blue tucked under his arm, thinking of what he would give of himself to Keith. 

The next day Keith was back on court, he was laughing and smiling while he wasn’t playing. It was the squash club championship, and they were all in the fluorescent shirts with all the nicknames on. He was happy with the one he had chosen, proudly on his back was his favourite nickname with his signature move, BOASTY MCBOASTFACE. The club had booked out the 3 courts for the entire day and were playing as many games as they could with the aim to be the best. It wasn’t a serious competition but it was all about pride, who could boast the best, fall the best, those impossible shouts and the smiles knowing that it was all for fun and to see how far everyone had come since the freshers taster sessions. 

He was playing everyone and restraining a lot of his shots when he was playing some of the less experienced players, they were all having fun and you could occasionally hear the occasional fuck you from some one who had been hit with a racquet or the laughing that then ensued. It was all fun, Keith didn’t even try to play hard, he was just playing and having fun not caring if he missed a shot, he had never had the title because he never played hard but he did have more fun at this tournament than any other competition. Club night and this tournament and the charity ones were the best, he could laugh and play and talk. He placed second over all but they couldn’t even keep up appearances before they descended into chaos, everyone was sweaty and gross and yelling over each other, trying to call out each other for cheating, foul shots and whatever, they tried to hand out prizes but failed and just lobbed them at each other as it was easier than trying to organise the rabble. 

“So guys, Keith’s place is the destination for the bbq, go get freshened up and lets get ready to celebrate!!!!!” Nathan was screaming now, there was a massive cheer and the commotion went wherever they did, they cleared the 2 flights of stairs and went their separate ways, with an hour and a half to get clean and dressed. Shiro was kind enough to allow them the use of their garden, and their bbq, he was also the only one with both without violating some rent terms. He’d had them before and they never left much mess as they all helped clear up. They really were another family. 

He got home and took his shower, he was so glad that the cold water was actually cold and that the sweat washed off quickly, he got dressed onto some black shorts, a grey tank top and a red plaid shirt. He looked good and started to get the garden ready as well as the cutlery. People soon started to arrive and they started up the charcoal in the bbq and they really got started. Everyone was joking around all siting in a massive circle, yelling across it and having fun. 

“Right, before you lot scoff your faces, we have awards to give out!” Nathan called out. “And we start with the Rear of The Year, and by this we mean the best shots from the glass – Sophia come get your prize” She got up on collected a beach inflatable with rear of the year sharpied on. 

“Next we have Most Eager Social Participant, and this means that for the second time running its Duncan! Get over here you tosser.” Nathan leaned over to give Duncan a broken shot glass from initiations. 

“Now we go to a very prestigious award, the OTP award, and well, It’s me and Jack, come here bro.” They did the awkward man hug much to the amusement of the circle, and exchanged Christmas baubles with each other’s face on it, a joke from the Christmas dinner.

“Most Improved Shot goes to one of our freshers, Jodie!” Nathan then lobbed a bouncy egg at Jodie who caught it and recognised it as the egg she had lost at initiations, who not had only improved her squash shots but also her alcohol tolerance. Very few people could drink her under the table. 

“And last, but not least, Meme of the Year goes to Keith! We still remember that fateful night after the Christmas dinner, all sitting in my living room, asking some very strange questions and then we have you Keith, our first team captain, and your glorious answer. So to immortalise it, we are giving you your award, in the form of another t-shirt.” They bought it out and showed the back, the words #WaterOrMountain written on the back in vermillion on the black shirt.

They had been playing a drinking game where they had to answer a question with another question directed at someone else without laughing. Thus, the questions bordered either very sexual or the most ridiculous. Questions such as does this Christmas jumper make me look fat were replied with does mine make me look skinny, it had become hard to tell when someone was asking a genuine question. He had just been asked a sexual question and the first thing that came out of his mouth, in all seriousness, was Water, pause, or Mountain, it was like he had channeled his best Roger Alum impression into the delivery of the statement. They then spammed the facebook group with #WaterOrMountain for the next two weeks and it even became a team thing, Keith was decidedly team mountain much to the distaste of mostly everyone else. The photos from the night out were still hilarious but the most memorable event was Water Or Mountain. 

He grabbed the shirt out of the air as it was thrown his way and was laughing hard. 

“Now that’s over, grub then drinking games – those who don’t drink we have fizzy drinks for you guys! Now let’s celebrate the end of the year in style!”  
Keith relaxed back into the camping chair he had claimed for himself. He was having fun and was handed his plates, the veg skewers were slightly burned but the burgers were goods and everyone was having fun.

“So, what’s been cheering you up over the last few months?” asked jack, who had plonked himself down beside Keith, stealing another member’s seat. 

“Yeah, I haven’t seen you this happy in ages.” Chimed in Nathan, “Is it a guy? Please tell me it is!” Keith blushed deeply at that comment which made Nathans squeal of excitement all the more noticeable. 

“It is!” all the more embarrassing. 

“Keith, spill, we want gossip.” Jack probed.

“Do I have to?”

“Yes” they replied in unison. There was no way out but he knew Nathan and Jack wouldn’t tell anyone or use it against him. They had started at the same time, all first years and became fast friends, with the motto, “we’re here, we’re queer and we’ll beat you, three points clear”. They knew when he was hiding anything and were the first to see through anything Keith tried to hide.

“Ok, so you know how I’ve had a placement with a physio clinic, so one of the clients had one massive injury but he is so damn cute, and the personality to match. And he’s brave and so strong in so many different ways and he’s kind and nice and draws everyone in and his eyes and the way he scrunches his nose when he concentrates. He’s idiotic but it suits him and he does it to make everyone else feel better.” He realised he was rambling and looked at his friends who were exchanging knowing glances. “But he’s straight. He’s straight and knows I’m gay but still, his friendship means so much that I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise it.” 

“Was that Tall Guy with that weird shoe thing on his right leg at the final game of the seasons, the one you were smiling at?” Asked Jack.

“Yes?”

“Well, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. And you never know, he might not be straight. Would he really just up and leave you if you told him how you felt?”

“No, he wouldn’t, but I don’t want it to change.”

“But what if he feels the same, what if you have a chance for the same kind of happiness you have with us outside of the club, and at a deeper level?” Nathan looked as if he was trying to state the obvious.

“But he doesn’t.”

“Keith, just bloody ask, you have been so happy at home and it be nice to see that more.” Shiro interjected. Shit, Fucking shit. He wouldn’t hear the end of it. He had probably heard it all. Shiro used to play for the club and was an honorary member so it wasn’t unexpected for him to drop in on the bbq each year after his shift finished. “We like seeing you happy, its good, and you played well too.”

“Can we just start the drinking games?” He said as he removed himself from his seat and went off to talk with some of the other members. Keith wasn’t a drinker, but the drinking games were still fun, squash pong was still a thing and they did some weird action game with two variations that caused chaos with the amount of people, it was hard to see who some things were directed at and multiple drinks were taken. Keith was also steeling himself for the rest of the night, he rarely went out to clubs, though some of the gay bars were lovely, but the exception was with the squash club. They stuck together, took no shit but it was clubs and he was claustrophobic in the sense of many people in small spaces made him have panic attacks. 

A few hours later, they headed off to the club - more of a bar called Voltron's - and had a good time. Keith had help choose it so that it wasn’t as busy but still good and everyone had room to move and drink and enjoy themselves. They also provided non-alcoholic drinks for people who didn’t drink. They didn’t leave till closing and Keith has cheered up and had fun, he mostly spent his time talking at the bar and smiled awkwardly for the photographer who took photos of everyone. He was eventually convinced to get to the dance area and let go, he wasn’t a bad dancer he just didn’t feel it with the music, he was better with classical music. 

Shiro wasn’t up when he returned and he crashed on his bed and mercifully slept. He did have fun while he was out, he just wished Shiro hadn’t overheard the conversation. He was content to keep it to himself and just get over it without the interference of people, even if it was what they thought was best. 

 

Lance was suffering and the only person he could turn to was a message away, they had started to talk again and were getting back to where they used to be. He still trusted Nyma and those years of friendship just didn’t disappear. 

Sir Lancelotl: Hi Nyma,  
Hope you are well, your routines look great and I hope you do well at nationals, I know if you place you’ve secured a place at the Olympics so I really hope you do. You’re gonna kill it :D, I would say break a leg but as I have don’t, it sucks. Don’t do it just don’t,  
I need to ask something, theres this guy, this awesome and wonderful guy, and he’s so wonderful and way out of my league and im pretty sure he only sees me as a friend. He’s told me he’s gay and im trying to tell him im bi but I just cant seem to, you know my personality and we’ve become close in a only a few months. I’m happy to remain friends but damn, I want it to be so much more. Send help. By dragon id possible so if all goes south, I can take off and become a hermit in the Scottish highlands.  
Yours truly, lance.  
Flipping Brillaint: Lance you overdramatic fuck. All that sincerity? I’ve known you for years and im the one that screwed up. But I never forgot our friendship. Well, remember how I came out to you? Yeah well do that. And if he wants to know he will ask. If he doesn’t accept you, I will find him.  
Sir Lancelotl: hmmm  
Sir Lancelotl: yessss…  
Sir Lancelotl: how is Sarah anyway?  
Flipping Brilliant: the light and joy of her life is being brilliant and a wonder on the trmapolione, better than I ever wil ebewkjsbadjbasdj  
Flipping Brilliant: Sarah may not be if she continues to steal my bloody phone!  
Sir Lancelotl: im glad, how long you two been going now? 6 years?  
Flipping Brilliant: 6 and a half.  
Flipping Brilliant: called Sir Lancelotl  
Flipping Brilliant: ended the call (call lasted 1hr 34)  
Flipping Brilliant: Good, Sarah’s gone, I plan to propose. I got the ring and everything, will you be my head of the Honour Squad?  
Sir Lancelotl: Yes, of course and tell me when you do gtg, stuff needs to get done, thank youuu and GOOOD LUUCK XXXXXXX

Lance now had a plan, hopefully it would work. He went out and did his shopping, mainly for fruit and to scout out some high energy low protein foods he could easily carry with him. He then decided to treat himself to some new hiking socks. He knew that Dartmoor was either blistering hot or freezing cold and no matter what he wanted warm thick socks, mostly to protect himself from blisters. He then bought some more for Keith. A peace offering considering what he had to propose to him about the sleeping arrangements. 

Keith got lost on the way to Voltron’s despite being there a day earlier, in his defense he was with a load of people and not looking where he was going really. At least he was only five minutes late. He saw everyone else at the booth and he was surprised when he saw two Matts. He then realised that the younger of the two was Pidge, the last he saw of them they had longer hair. This shorter style really did suit them. They had a massive ordinance survey on the table and drinks on it in the areas where they weren’t discussing. 

“Keith!” Yelled Lance, waving madly and budging up in his bench. He sat down and then it began, he was reintroduced to Pidge and they gave each other evil smirks, remembering one of the pranks they pulled on their brothers, Pidge was still a kid at the time and it was good for them to relax and have fun. Matt noticed and gave him the stink eye, obviously wary about what would happen to his tent. Hunk took charge as they decided their route. It took a while deciding where the worst bogs were and the snap grass. They had also made the emergency routes and wrote out the directions they were taking with the bearings and directions with as many precautions.

“So we are climbing Hen Tor – going to the site where they filmed War Horse – avoiding that massive bog for all our sakes. Then we go up here past the mines and iron age stuff, then we take the paths to Princeton then to Hexworthy, then we go north using the paths and then over these flat lands and Tors near enough straight up. Avoiding the Willsworthy firing ranges, Okehampton and Merrivale are open to access so Pidge, no touching anything.” Pidge tried to look innocent as possible and failed miserably.

“We then go past this bog, its not big and no snap grass, then cross this weir then we make our way up this Tor then we circle Kitty Tor, we’ll climb around it to avoid the bog and snap grass until we meet the path then follow the path the rest of the way. We’ll pass the stone age and old Victorian settlements we didn’t see last time. “We will be camping here, here, here and here by that weir on the last night. We walk at the slowest persons pace and we don’t leave anything. Our emergency contact is Shay’s mother who will be in Princeton and will meet us at the end. They have a minibus and are letting us use it, so don’t forget to chip in for the fudge. And no one get ill or need to be air lifted. Not after last year and Lance getting hypothermia.” Lance looked sheepish and mumbled something about not his fault Coran gave him a stomach bug the day before they left and only showed up hallway through the second day up a mountain.

The whole planning took two to three hours after making the bearings. Keith was then taken aside by Lance.

“Keith, Pidge and Shay are sharing as Matt and Pidge can’t be trusted to not pull pranks or one up each other while in the same tent so Matt will be with Hunk. That leaves us two in the same tent. You ok with this? We can easily give you a one man and I'll go with Hunk and Matt in a three man or vice versa.,

Keith’s heart skipped a beat, sharing with Lance. In a small tent. In close quarters. With Lance. On whom he may or may not have the biggest crush. His mouth ran faster than his brain.

“Yeah, sure. Why not?” Keith was internally groaning. He was going to even more with his next admission. “I need some new walking gear. You want to come with?”

“Yeah, course! Unlike me we can’t just rely on pure good looks and the ability to pull of clothes that yell I’m not straight, be they walking gear or plaid and baseball shirts,” 

“You’re not straight?” He stuttered, Keith hoped this wasn’t a joke, and if it was it was a sick one.

“Not in the slightest, I’m bi, bilingual, binational and bisexual. I am all the bi. Its like I’m amassing a collective of Bi,” Keith’s heart was beating a staccato, he wasn’t straight, he could have a chance, he might need to test the water a bit but he could still have that shot at happiness everyone seemed to want him to take. He was still sure that Lance still only saw him as a friend, but he had hope. A small flickering flame that was being stoked and his hope grew. He hoped Lance telling him his sexuality was a hint.

“I’ll meet you after physio this Tuesday, I’m always your last one aren’t I?”

“Yeah, and I have to work on a budget sorry,”

“That’s fine, I know where to go for the cheaper stuff but you will need a decent pair of walking boots,” Keith nodded and went back to the group and finished his coke. They ended the meeting at six pm and went their separate ways. 

When he was back home Shiro was waiting with food on the hob, he still had his prosthetic on and was busy cutting up some fruit to make smoothies. Matt and Pidge had done a great job with the arm, it was Matt’s biomedical engineering final year project for his masters and decided that his specialty in robotics in medicine could be used to made prosthetics, that he could link somehow to the impulses in the nerves (Keith couldn’t explain it, it mostly flew over his head when it came to the technical details with the engineering side) and caused it to behave as a hand and move like it too. Pidge had been instrumental with their coding, making the impulses work as a hand with many many motions being programmed and for it to learn new commands as it was used. They had made a break through and were celebrated for it. Both of them updated or tweaked it occasionally. But like any prosthetic, it couldn’t be worn 24/7 and still hurt after a while. 

“Have fun?” Shiro questioned.

“Just fine Takashi. Found out Lance is bi. I have a chance, not a big one but its something. I’ll be stuck in a tent with the guy I have a massive fucking crush on and walking with him. He’s also taking me shopping for boots,”

“Ah,” Shiro said as he served up. “I could have told you Lance was bisexual anyway. You weren’t there when he was high on morphine. It tends to make you spacey and more truthful for some people. I have never been so politely hit on by a patient. Ah forgot I shouldn’t make you laugh while eating,” Keith was trying not to choke as he snorted while his mouth was full of food.

“Takashi, Have you seen yourself, Big nd Buff. Best Cuddles. Squash Dad. Yes I saw those squash shirts. Some people are proud of their nicknames ya now.”

“In my defence, Lance ended up flirting with everyone, it was rather entertaining. If you ever need blackmail, well, you know who to go to,” Shiro grinned evilly, something he had definitely learned from Matt. “My arm is still good in this, you want to play for a while?”

They hadn’t played in months border lining a year. There just wasn’t the time. 

“When would I ever say no to that Takashi. Just don’t think this lets you off from yesterdays’ eavesdropping,” Shiro chuckled and cleared up the plates, dumping them in the dishwasher. Keith went into the living room and started scales to warm up his fingers while Shiro collected his violin from his room and warmed up his instrument. 

They tuned to each other and started to play, starting with Schindler’s List then what ever they could remember from the times they used to play. Orpheus In the Underworld got played and Keith started the Tetris theme tune much to Shiro’s annoyance. They kept going playing as many songs as they could. Their second to last song was Schubert's Ave Maria and it was one of Shiro's favourites, the more emotion he had, the better he played. Then came Speigal Im Speilgal, it meant a lot to Keith, it was a song his adopted parents had asked him to learn as it was their wedding song and wanted him to play for their anniversary and increased the bond between them as a family. All it had taken to make those steps were those two songs. It was also one of the songs he went to when things got too much. He poured his heart into the keys while Shiro’s bow pulled and pushed on the strings. Both used music to express themselves when words failed and were happy in this. Speilgal Im Speilgal could be taken as sad or happy but in it Keith found peace.

That night his insomnia didn’t bother him and was happy in the knowledge that Shiro wasn’t going anywhere no matter where their lives took them. He also regaled in the knowledge that he had more friends than he would have ever have expected. Friends who wanted him to join them in doing things and be a part of his life. It was more than eight year old Keith could have dreamed of the first time he had been taken back and left for the second time in his life. It was no where near the last time either but he had a good feeling for his future and he couldn't wait to meet it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ive remembered how to HTML and ive had to split this up, it was goign to be too long and i want to update as i relax and ignore electronics after spending waaay too many hours in the library.
> 
> Water or mountain was a real thing at the Christmas dinner at pres, like it actually happened and now is a running joke. And awards are real too.
> 
> [I have tumblr, and yelling into the void](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/theshadowsandsilhouettes)
> 
> Update will be whenever, dealing with exams and a flat mate but exams will be over in two weeks!!!!


	11. And We Dance Around,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They bond, theres angst and then they start to walk in Dartmoor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the scottish folk lore is based on what i grew up on, being scottish myself, (actually living there since birth - not like claiming some percentage ancestry) leaving on the edge of a bog and being bitten to death by midges. Just dont fuck with Fae glenns or bog dwellers. just dont. 
> 
> also, this isnt the end, theres more chapters, angst and fluff, and ive had to split it again. ooops. 
> 
> its 8.5 k so enjoy!!!! these are getting longer but im not sure if they'll be this long at this point.

Tuesday couldn’t come fast enough. Keith had the confirmation from Allura that he could take the three days off. The clinic was busy but Allura would manage and she had wanted him to have some holiday, even though medics never had much holiday with the placements. Allura was kind enough to recognise that they were still stressed students who were trying their best. Lance was usually the last person they saw whenever he had a session and Allura gave him the afternoons afterwards off, for which he was grateful, it meant he could spend time with Lance. His physio regime had toned down to muscle strengthening and it was the last of the weekly sessions. They would then be back to his sessions every once every three weeks. Keith didn’t like that, he didn’t like not spending time with Lance, he didn’t want Lance to walk out of his life.

The session went well and he and Lance left for town, Keith’s bike fast becoming the usual mode of transport. He loved how Lance’s arms felt around his waist, his laugh of exhilaration whenever Keith sped up, the way he rested his head on his shoulder without a care in the world. When they reached town, they parked in their normal spot and Keith turned to Lance, who took his hand. Keith couldn’t really say a word as his mind was working overtime. Lances hand was in his, did this mean anything or was it just a Lance thing? He liked the weight of it and how it felt like it had always been there. They walked through the city centre, heading towards one of the more expensive walking stores. 

“Lance?”

“Trust me, its just for the boots, you don’t want shitty ones trust me,” Keith did trust him, with this and he would with so much more “You’ll want something with Gore-Tex, good support and built to last.” He was led to the stands near the back of the store where the boots were on display.

“Walking boots are different from walking shoes. The shoes are more light weight and good for easy walking routes such as the ones you would go on with your dog on a Sunday afternoon. The boots are better suited to where we are going, will last longer and give better support. These are the proper kind you’d use for mountains, bog land and basically will be your saviour,”

Keith looked at them and he saw the difference the boots had better ankle support and had impact protection and other such things. Lance had gone to find a member of staff and came back with some suggestions that had what he should look for in the boots. He found a pair and looked at the price. It was a hundred and fifty pounds and that was on sale. Lance picked them up and gave them to the person behind them asking for Keith’s size and sat him down. He took of his shoes and felt a wad of walking socks dropped on his lap. He was astonished at how thick they were and gave Lance a look.

“You’ll thank me when you start walking. They’re walking socks, they work better than doubling up socks, they’re warm, supportive, and thick. All good for avoiding blisters!”

The staff member came back and helped Keith into the boots and he walked in them, testing them out. They were good and sturdy, it was a shame he couldn’t have them. Lance nodded to the guy, Keith sat down and looked at the boots. He didn’t expect Lance to awkwardly kneel and unlace the boots. Then removed them off of his feet and placed them in the box. He smiled up to Keith and he felt his face heat up and he was very sure he was blushing, it only led to Lance smiling even wider and took the boots to the counter to be paid for. He removed the socks and put on his normal shoes and wandered over to the counter and was surprised when it was under a hundred. They were sixty five quid. He looked at the guy who pointed him to Lance with a knowing smirk, who only replied with “I’ll explain later, just pay Tim already.” So he did, took the bag and left with Lance. They decided that it was a good time to take a break and ended up in a small starbucks where they both ordered black tea. Nothing fancy just tea. 

“How did they drop below half price?”

“Funny story bout that. I work there. When I fucked up-”

“-Lance,”

“Ok, when the accident happened, I couldn’t do anything cos moving stuff so I got paid leave and I had holiday booked off so I’m not wasting the holiday wage. So I may have applied my staff discount, and another discount on top. And used a gift card that was going to expire.” Lance looked like he had overstepped some boundary and started to recede into himself. 

“Lance,” he breathed, he was speechless, only Shiro and his parents ever did this for him. His exes certainly never did this, they had dumped him the moment they found out he didn’t want to have sex with them. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to fuck this all up, I’m an idiot I just wanted you to have nice boots and I knew you were on a budget and the gift card was really expiring and-”

“-Lance,” Keith interrupted “You’re fucking amazing,” He was staring him dead in the eyes, those beautiful eyes that looked so down trodden. He hoped his were conveying how grateful he was, that he was so fucking speechless. 

“I um ok. You’re welcome, I guess. You’re my friend and they were last seasons stuff anyway so..”

“Lance. Just thank you, so so much.” They continued to drink their tea and headed off for one of the cheaper shops to get some walking trousers and some long and short sleeved tops. Lance had deemed his water proof good enough after one physio session where there was a massive storm. Keith had an old berghaus jacket he’d had for at least five years and was still waterproof. They also picked up a thick sleeping bag that was on clearance sale so was well with in his budget. Keith was clad as the only sleeping bag he had was flimsy and awful and he was sure he would have been the one who had hypothermia that year. 

While there were drinking their second dose of tea, Lance’s phone began to ring and answered it as it was a video call. He sank back into the coach when he heard a woman’s voice. Why did he get his hopes up and tuned out. 

“Lance I'm gonna do it,” Nyma whispered.

“Gooooooood, I’m out with a mate right now,” Lance replied, shifting his phone so that Keith fell in the shot, the grump was curled into his hoodie staring a hole into his mug. 

“That the guy?” Lance merely nodded, “ Sarah’s here and I’ve got this on record btw,” he saw Nyma walk towards Sarah, they were on the beach where they met, it was on a trampoline night out with their gymnasium and Nyma had fallen for the cute bartender. It was like it had been a fan fiction au. Sarah was a good two heads smaller than Nyma who stood tall at 6’3” they started to flirt then they dated and now they were here, Nyma taking an arrow to the knee and Sarah in absolute shock. They hugged and ran to the phone, Nyma’s dark face with Sarah’s light brown filling the screen, crying with happiness and smiles all around. 

“Now you have to come back and visit Lance!”

“Feel free to bring a plus one!”

Lance laughed, “I know better and I still say you’re shipping us. A lot. I can see it in your eyes,”

“Lance, If you don’t introduce us this second, remember. No honour squad,”

Lance smiled at the two and angled the phone and himself towards the ball of Keith, and gently poked him. Keith turned to look at him, his face emotionless.

“Keith, I want you to meet Nyma, one of my best and oldest friends, and her now fiancée, Sarah,” His expression didn’t change much but he replied politely and congratulated them.

“Congrats guys, we’re gonna go cos it’s time for food and shit, will talk later kay?”

“Sure Lance, talk soon, Bye Keith!!” Keith made a noise in response. Lance picked up all of Keith’s bags and slung them over his shoulder and sent Keith a smirk. 

“Ready to go?” with a quick nod they made their way to the bike, he took Keith’s hand again, and tried to learn it so he could commit it to memory. 

The ride to Keith’s didn’t take long and they dumped the stuff on the dining room table, and made crashed on the sofa in the living room, where they decided the best course of action was to play on Keith’s ps 4. It was a final fantasy xv limited edition, Keith had traded in the old one for the current one with increased memory. They ended up playing some multiplayer and decided that they made a good team, Lance more suited to using the distance weaponry and the tactical decisions while Keith was brutal and effective at short to mid ranged combat. 

Shiro’s shifts were long and hard, though he enjoyed his job. He had been though a lot in his life though it was in a way different to Keith, but he never once regretted telling his parents about the kid on the curb, how he started to fit in their lives, and now they were here. They shared a house together and had their own lives but were still a part of each others. When he got home that evening, he heard laughing and chatting and the random swear words in Korean and Spanish as well as in English. His parents had offered Keith Korean lessons to help him settle with his past, and they regretted it as he could swear and they couldn’t do a thing about it because their Korean was basic at best.

The tv was illuminating the room in a harsh glow, the curtains were still open and the two figures were so into their game they didn’t notice his appearance or his departure to his room. He had his phone out and the group chat open. He had started to talk to Allura after discussing Lance’s case and now she was one of them. She had Matt’s approval quickly when they started to rip the shit out of Shiro. 

Need A Hand: Guys, they’re in the living room playing games. How have they not made a move on each other yet.  
Space Princess: Its worse in Lance’s sessions, theres always some glance occurring its like being in a tv show or something.  
Not Pidge: God, do I have to deal with this pining bullshit for a week  
Space Princess: Yes  
Need A Hand: Unfortunate.  
Not Pidge: fuck me  
Not Pidge: FUUUUCKCKCKCKCK  
Not Pidge: at least I wont be in the same tent as that bullshit  
Space Princess: Matt, if we have to suffer.  
Space Princess: So  
Space Princess: Do  
Space Princess: you.  
Need A Hand: Yeah that sounds right. 

He put down his phone and went back down stairs to get some tea, the tv was still on but the only sound was that of the game. He popped his head through the door and saw Lance and Keith asleep on the sofa, Keith’s head resting on Lance’s shoulder with Lance’s head resting on Keith’s. He took one of the blankets off of the back of the sofa and draped it over the pair and went to get his tea. He knew they would somehow make it, no matter how fast or slow they went about it. Especially as he was starting to dance around Allura. He would try to nudge Keith but only at his own pace, he only wanted to see him happy and he hadn’t been this happy in years. He’d heard of some of Keith’s exes and none had ever been round to their place. 

Once he had made some passion fruit tea, he went back into his room and tried to get off to sleep with some success. He never did get much sleep, the hours were long and though rewarding, it was still bad. They were always understaffed, funding was near impossible and the cuts had meant that they had to start to work longer and harder with each passing year for the same basic wage that hadn’t risen in years. It was enough to live off but, it was not enough for what he did. When he left in the very early hours to start his shift, he made sure not to wake the sleeping pair on the sofa. Keith rarely got a good night’s sleep and any was better than none.

Lance woke up with the sun on his face. It was weird, he never had the sun on his spot in his room, not this early in the morning anyway. There was a weird weight on his chest too, very uneven and not his duvets. He looked down and saw a mop of raven black hair, starting to tangle from the movement while asleep and arm around his waist. It was Keith, they must have fallen asleep on the sofa. By the looks of it, Keith had somehow managed to curl up onto Lance’s slumped form and gotten very comfy. He was also kind of trapped underneath him, Keith looked so peaceful in his sleep and didn’t want to disturb him. It would be so easy to start to pet his hair, to imagine waking up to this everyday, to want to be able to spend more time with Keith. 

He was not sure if it was reciprocated. He had no resistance or protest at all when he had taken his hand yesterday in town and if he got any indication that Keith didn’t want it he would have withdrawn and kept his distance. The problem was though is that he held hands with a lot of people be they friends or family. He knew not to flirt with Keith, at least not until Keith made it clear that he wanted it. He was stuck trying to figure out a way to hint to Keith that he liked him, his company, his smiles, his beauty and awe and his kindness. He didn’t want these after session meet ups to end. He didn’t want to go back to a life without Keith as a friend. He hoped that Keith would let him in enough to become fixture in his life no matter how temporary it might be. 

Eventually Keith stirred awake, turned to look up at Lance, a small smile on his face and his hair up on end. His dark eyes seemed to light up and enraptured Lance then they grew more panicked as he realised where he was and looked in absolute horror at Lance. Lance was pretty sure he had stepped over a line, even if it was accidental. How were they going to share a tent now? Probably huddled against the doors despite the cold that would be seeping into their bodies.

“Lance, I um. Sorry. I’ll um go to get changed. And stuff. Shit.” Keith scrambled out of the room, evidently uncomfortable, and Lance took this as a cue to leave. He picked up his bag and left a note saying he had gone home and to have a good day. Keith probably hated him right now. Keith had said on one of their meet ups when they just had tea and talked that he was touch adverse with people he didn’t trust and even in certain areas by those who he did. He should have stayed awake longer, enough to have called a taxi home or Hunk. 

The walk home didn’t take long though his leg decided it would be in some small amount of pain from the way he slept last night. He made it into his room and flopped on his bed. Wondering why the fuck he ever thought this was a good idea, no matter how much he loved Keith’s company. 

Keith was also just as fucked, they had crossed a line somewhere and now he was lamenting his woes to Red, an inanimate object that would offer no solace or comfort. Keith had had good sleep for once, it was full and deep the kind that rarely graced him with its presence. He knew it wasn’t to do with Lance but pure chance. But he did like waking up to see him He still had to go to the clinic and do his work. The work he practically begged for and it would help him after he graduated in a years time. He took a long cold shower to wake himself up and once dry and dressed, got on his bike and started the day.

Not once did Lance text him that day, or the next. But nor did Keith, there were boundaries that needed to be obeyed, a one sided crush was Keith problem. Lance wouldn’t want him anyway. He was clingy and touch adverse while being so completely touch starved, he was terrified of people leaving him. He had a history to him and though Keith had covered some of it to Lance, there was still a lot he left unsaid. He was still dealing with shit, in was in a more healthy manner but that shit was still there and it wouldn’t go away. But it didn’t stop him missing Lance, his smile, the way he made Keith feel wanted and the way he seemed to make everything seem ok. How warm he was and cosy to sleep against. 

“Keith?” Shiro knocked on his door, who made a noncommittal noise. Shiro took this as an acknowledgement and entered seeing a Keith shaped duvet pile. He put down the tea he had bought with him on the bedside cabinet and placed his arm on what he hoped to be Keith’s shoulder. “What wrong?”

“I fucked up, it was going well and I fucked up.” Shiro guessed it had to do with what he saw that Tuesday night.

“Maybe not, does Lance really seem like the type to hate you over that? Cos he doesn’t tome. Give him and yourself time and it will work out.” He then felt Keith move enough to have a hug, one he gladly gave. 

Hunk didn’t have much luck either, Lance was trying to distract himself and avoiding the subject of Keith. He was dealing with a Lance he hadn’t seen in a while and was so surprised with the one-eighty that he had pulled. The only thing he got from Lance on the subject was that he had fucked up and now Keith wouldn’t want to talk to him again. Hunk tried to tell Lance otherwise, that whatever it was it couldn’t be that bad, that Keith wouldn’t do that. All he got was “You didn’t see his face, he looked like a kicked puppy.”

Over the next week, both were miserable as fuck, Shiro was concerned for Keith as was Hunk for Lance. Both of them had taken to going about business as normal and Lance had taken up some shifts at work, working on the floor making sure to not lift anything that was heavy or strain himself. It didn’t change the fact that they were miserable and Keith was withdrawing but further into himself, not even playing his music. Lance was as exuberant as ever but on more than one occasion had he asked Hunk for physical contact. They were internalising all their shit and hoping that the other would message first, be the first to break the silence, to let them know the other was ok. Neither had contacted the other, and everyone was beginning to feel its effects. 

As that week passed the next Thursday was the day they left for Dartmoor. They had booked a bunk house in Princetown and would be staying there before their walk while Shay's mother stayed in the inn instead. But before that, they had to actually get there. It would only be a four hour drive but it would be the first time in just over a week that Keith and Lance had actually seen each other and there were no guarantees that they would even talk. It would make for a very long journey and walk if the two of them didn’t get their shit together. Shiro had asked Pidge to keep an eye on Keith and they themselves had been keeping tabs on Lance. Something had happened and they were going to start to fix it. When they had packed up the mini bus, they dragged the pair to the side. 

“I don’t know whats happened, but you two are so miserable its getting painful to watch. Its going to be a long journey so I suggest you get what ever it is out of your systems now and not in the middle of a death trap where it would be very easy to hide a body or two,” They didn’t really mean that they would hide a body or two in some bog but they were anxious for it to not go further. They had been talking to Keith again and he was good company and it started to pain them to see the two so sad and hurt. 

“I’ll leave you to it,”

They stood there awkwardly, looking anywhere but each other. 

“So. I, um. Look, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I thought giving you some space and keeping my distance would be better,” Lance said gently, his hands were in his pockets fiddling with some string that was always in there for when he became nervous and needed to fidget. “I really like hanging with you and just ugh words,”

“I thought I’d made you uncomfortable, so I kept mine. I hoped you’d message to say we were good but with you keeping your distance I thought you didn’t want to talk to me,”

“We’re both idiots. We good?”

“We always were. I missed you,”

“I missed you too,” Lance opened his arms as an offering of a hug, one Keith walked into as soon as it was offered to him. Since they were the last on, they had been delegated to the last seats at the back in between all the bags that had been tetris packed in. They were forced to get cosy quickly considering they were tightly packed in at the back. They had a travel playlist that was going and jokes were already being made and Lance was complaining about the lack of leg room. 

“Lance, would you mind if I fell asleep on you, not that I intend to but, if I do, you don’t mind, do you?”

“No, course not. You get some sleep,” Keith rested his head up against the window and drifted off to sleep at some point he turned and his head met Lances shoulder, and a gentle snore escaped from him. Lance made sure he was still despite his discomfort. Keith didn’t sleep long and they stopped at a service station soon after he woke up. Lance was glad for the chance to stretch out his legs. They bought some food for their tea that evening when they got to the bunk house, it wasn’t healthy foods but it would be a nice meal before they were surviving of ration packs. 

Before long they were back in the mini bus, and Keith had got cosy against Lance and was awake, fully knowing what he was doing, they ended up leaning against each other, in some weird form of equilibrium of comfort amongst the bags. They soon reached Dartmoor and got stuck by a flock of sheep in the middle of the small very bumpy road. It took Pidge and Matt being as crazy as possible to move the indifferent flock, they set back off again, passing the pub whose fire hadn’t been put out since the inn opened in the 1600’s, they didn’t get attacked by the Hairy Hand and they made it to the bunk house without any sheep related problems. They took out their bags and gained access to the bunk house while Shays mother checked into the inn. They turned up the heating and looked around the bunk house. The toilets and showers were next to the door and the bunk beds along with the kitchen were at the top of the stairs. Hunk, Shay, Pidge and Matt had called dibs on the smaller room while Keith and Lance were figuring their shit out.

So they moved into their larger room of bunks and made sure their radiator was on. They both took the bottom adjacent bunk, rolled out their sleeping bags and headed to the kitchen with the others, where they sat down for the most mismatched meal. A mix of sweets, instant noodles and Eccles cakes with whatever else they found in their bags that they couldn’t take with them. They laughed until they decided to call it an early night, Pidge and Shay went to use the toilets first to change and whatever then Matt and Hunk headed down, Keith and Lance just used opposite ends of the room, brushed their teeth and curled up into their bunks. Lance slept, used to being in awkward positions with a big family but Keith was awake again, he didn’t fall asleep till three in the morning and was glad for the four or so he did manage to get, even if it was broken. 

The next morning, they had a breakfast in the inn and handed in the keys. Before they had made their way the twenty or so metres to the inn, Lance handed Keith the pairs of walking socks he had been holding on to. 

“Lance. I can’t,”

“You can and please do, they won’t fit me.” he winked and put them in the bottom of Keith’s bag. It was sunny and all were in shorts and t shirts, layered up with sun block, Pidge was not having a repeat of the last time they were in Dartmoor. There are no trees in Dartmoor. Pidge became so sunburnt on the last day, the next week and a half were hell. They all agreed sun block was necessary as there really was no trees, and in the height of summer and it would be hell. 

The paths they were taking weren’t too bad nor where the hills, it took less than half an hour to get to the first Tor, they took photos and made fun of each other before moving on. For most of the morning they stuck to a well walked path, they were all going through water, Hunk, Pidge and Lance being experienced walkers were using camel packs while the other three were making do with three litres of water in bottles. They were passing some lovely spots and soon, they headed of the worn path onto one that was just a different shade of grass that was more trodden than the grass surrounding it. 

They were walking over the old tin mines and there were deep mine shafts either side. It eventually became iron age mining, massive deep gouges in the landscape that had been there millennia. They stopped near one of the gouges to have a small amount of food. Pidge had gotten hold of the camera and was taking selfies with everyone and getting photos of them looking they’re most unflattering. The group soon caught on and made themselves purposefully unflattering, making a competition of the ugliest face made. 

They soon set off, it was just burnt grass land after there had been a fire a few days before. The ground was baked and hard and Keith had been grateful for the boots as it made his foot falls less painful. They then deviated slightly to use a stone age circle settlement as a pit stop while they ate their lunch, they didn’t bother getting out the Trangia’s as it was better to have light but filling foods, and the occasional snack in the heat of the day. They stayed at the old settlement for a good hour or so, avoiding walking in the midday sun, it would be harder and more exhausting and they wouldn’t waste their water supplies. That being said, there was a stream nearby, so they filled up the water, purified it and resumed their path. They didn’t see much else after that, it was just contouring hills or climbing directly over them, the terrain wasn’t that bad, mainly short grass and massive flocks of sheep dotted all over the place. The group wasn’t particularly chatty, only talking about the direction they needed to go, all adjusting to walking again with adjusting to walking with weights on their backs. 

They made it to their campsite in good time, the days were long enough that they had sunlight till ten in the evening, the north face tents were set up quickly, all bags moved in and sleeping bags in rolled. Lance had made the call to sleep in the stuff he was wearing and only bothered to add the detachable legs to his shorts. Keith changed into thermals and added some outer layers as the water was boiling on the Trangia’s. They mostly had bought boil in the bag wet food and some instant dry foods, so boiling the water was necessary even with the purifier in the water. It made dry food taste slightly chlorinated but it was better than catching some disease. They all sat round their Trangia’s sharing stories. 

“So there was Rax, eating an apple while he was looking over the place and then this horse decided to walk over to him and steal his apple. Rax was rather annoyed at this, so he walked off, but the horse followed, he then started to run and jumped this six foot drop to get away from this Dartmoor pony, the horse looked like it had given up. Instead it just made its way down the way Rax went up and followed him. 

“We were all joking about that he had made a friend and called it a night, the next morning, we have the whole herd running through where we were camped! There were foals learning to gallop less than a metre from our guy lines, me and my sister were terrified if one fell over one cos we would be right under it. But when we went out to get breakfast, we saw the horse for the night before trying to get into Rax’s tent. Either for more food or it genuinely liked Rax it was hilarious, because it got its whole herd to our campsite.” Shay came from the Devonshire area and frequently walked in Dartmoor, so these stories weren’t uncommon. There was also Rax and the tick. Rax in the Bog. Rax in another bog. Stuff usually happened to Rax. 

Matt and Pidge joined in with the story telling as everyone started to eat, talking about the pranks they pulled on their parents, other campers and even the time they had a duck in their tent for the week. Hunk and Lance soon accompanied Pidge’s retellings of some of their more dramatic hikes, such as the time they had to camp on the edge of a bog up on one of the maintains in the Lake District, or the time up in the Highlands, where they found a fae glenn, and fucked the hell away especially when they found Barrows. 

This started the whole topic of legends. Lances grandfather on his father’s side was Scottish and Lance grew up on the legends and history of the Picts, the Celts, all the legends concerning the sea, the bogs and the land. What to do when you come across a fae glenn or encounter a creature of legend. Trust your instincts but not your senses. Be polite and courteous, do not take anything, really do not trust your senses. Cù-Sìth roam wild, there are things unknown in the Barrows. The Kelpies and Will O’ the Wisps that will lead you to your deaths and the selkies who can walk on land as well as the sea. 

Dartmoor was no exception. Everyone was hooked on Lances stories from Scotland, after he covered most the Scottish folklore he started on the ones from Dartmoor, the ghosts of escaped prisoners who never escaped the moors, only to fall down a mine shaft, starve to death or just dehydrate. The ghostly legions that rose from their graves, the beasts that roam the moors at night, attacking sheep and unwary people. The Hairy Hand that drives people off the roads, since carriages were a thing. The creatures who protect the burial mounds of chieftains long since past. 

Keith couldn’t take his eyes of Lance while he was telling his stories, he was in awe of how he enraptured everyone while telling his tales as the sun set. He knew his eyes were wide in awe and there was nothing he wanted more than to just listen to stories as if they were told just for him. 

“I’m going to bed before anything tries to eat me.” Joked Shay, Pidge also joined her and entered their tent. Matt and Hunk also did the same after the four remaining guys cleared up the Trangias enough that they would be usable again and extinguishing the remaining flames. Keith and Lance made their way into their tent, removing their boots and changing their socks. Keith didn’t know how much sleep he would get but managed to worm his was into his sleeping bag. He was tired but not sleepy though his mouth was yet again running faster than his mind.

“I liked hearing you tell stories.” The shifting from Lance’s side of the tent stopped dead.

“Thank you. I used to tell stories to my younger siblings. You get used to it,”

“I don’t want to, I want to always be in awe of it,” He realised what he said and he felt his face flush, and he heard the gentle reply.

“Thanks Keith, sleep well,” He soon fell asleep as his body was exhausted, he woke up occasionally only to fall back a sleep instantly. It wasn’t the best sleep he every had but it was still sleep. 

They were awoken by the rising sun, and Keith found Lance at his back. He was glad of it as he was sure some of the times he woke up over the night was due to being cold despite the thermals and three season sleeping bag. It was probably due to the heat being sapped by the ground even though they had roll mats to help prevent it. Both men were still basically worms in sleeping bags, totally cocooned, but remove the fabric barriers they would have been wrapped around each other. Keith scooted over towards his door so he could access his clothes and try to change without waking Lance. He kept his socks on from last night and managed to change and leave the tent without waking the sleeping man. 

He went and did his business and wandered off to the stream, sat on one of the rocks higher up and watched the sun rise over the hills. When he heard other people head down to the stream to collect water, he went back and started to help with the striking of the tents. Lance was already up so he stuffed the sleeping back into its bag and repacked all of his stuff. Lance soon joined him and the collapsed their tent. He also gave Lance’s foot a once over to ensure he wasn’t straining it while walking, he had to give credit to Lance’s boots, they were very good at keeping his ankle supported. 

As soon as the camp was collapsed they set off again, contouring the tor to avoid the bog that led to Hen Tor from their direction. Hunk Lance and Pidge had walked through that bog and found at least three carcasses, oddly preserved in the bog, any part that was above the surface of the water was completely stripped bare, but any part under the surface was completely preserved. They wanted to never return to the bog, they had walked through it for three hours and never wanted to again in their entire lives. They contoured the hill, gently making their way up. Once at Hen Tor they spent time climbing amongst the rocks taking more photos and trying to work their way down avoiding the remnants of the bog. They eventually found it, always having to test the ground in case they found carpet bog, wobbly as best and fatal at worst. And were lucky that the river wasn’t flooded like the last time they had been there and crossing had been simply walking over the shallow weir and made their way to the small cottage and headed up stream. Like the day before midday was spent not walking and in general relaxing, when they got going again they were reaching the Okehampton ranges, thus marked by red and white posts one hundred metres apart. They spent 3 hours walking the 4km route they planned, skirting the ranges to get to their campsite. A campsite Shay found very familiar, wondering if Rax’s horse would recognise her if the herd was around, though she doubted it very much. The group while walking didn’t talk much to conserve energy and water but were enjoying the company. During their breaks Matt and Pidge were planning pranks to play, Hunk and Shay were being adorable and Keith chatting away to Lance, enjoying what would be his only holiday. They set up the tents in the old sheep pen, the old stone walls keeping the wind from their tents and the Trangias. That night, Keith didn’t even bother trying to not get close to Lance.

“Shared heat might be an idea, like nothing weird just body heat.” Lance clarified, back to back. Keith didn’t sleep much at all, a few hours, but not enough. When he awoke he was sure he had fallen asleep with Lance facing away from him, and he saw Lance’s sleeping form facing him, his legs getting pins and needles from being suspended over Lance’s. After the initial troubles with sleeping on each other, Keith decided to take his time looking into Lance’s face, trying to learn the image, noticing how his mouth was slightly parted in sleep, how his hair fell over his face and how his long thin nose matched his long face and how it all fit together to make Lance. It was a shame he couldn’t see his eyes. Those beautiful eyes he could stare into to learn what made up Lance’s soul. 

Eventually Lance awoke to Keith’s dark grey eyes staring into his and gave a lazy smile. He looked at Keith’s hair and moved his hand out of the warmth to brush it aside so he could see more of his face. They couldn’t hear anyone else yet so they put on their boots, and walked outside to greet the day. Where Keith managed to get out fine, Lance came face to face with a sheep’s butt. Keith could keep his laughter contained for long and had to take a long walk while trying, and failing, to comfort Lance. The rest of the sheep’s flock was a good few metres away from the old pen but somehow it had managed to get in. 

Today was the day they got to spend at the weir, they made their way quickly over the Tors, taking photos and the occasional tale from Lance if some superstition surrounded it. In their haste the walked through carpet bog, only realising when Matt’s walking pole pierced the mossy layer and water started to ooze out. They then took their time over it, but still moving at a pace. The danger was not knowing how deep the water or the mud below the moss and plants was. It would be very easy to drown. Once clear of the bog, they had more grassland to cover, it took a few hours to cross, where they came across multitudes of sheep, a herd of Dartmoor ponies and a couple of cows. 

The cows themselves were in the weir that the group had planned to say at for a few hours, Lance took it upon himself to remove his boots and socks and run to the water to chase away the cows. The cows, who were very unimpressed slowly moved out the water. The weather was only increasing in heat and no trees were around to give shade, being around the water was a good place to be. The water was only knee deep and though fast moving it wasn’t strong enough to pose a danger to any of them, where the crossing was it only ran a couple of inches deep. Lance placed his bag on the opposite bank to the others and removed his shirt, leaving him only in his shorts. 

When the rest of them joined him, Matt also removed his shirt as did Hunk. At the shallow crossing there was a drop off where the river continues naturally and was fairly sandy, so they decided the best way too cool down in the summer heat was to do press ups in the water, dunking themselves in the water. Pidge and Shay were in their shorts and were wading behind the guys trying to lob water at each other. Keith however was dealing with his thoughts, because Lance was topless in front of him and damn he was very very aesthetically pleasing to look at. Lance had also not pushed him away that morning either. Did that mean anything? Did he have a chance, was Lance trying to say something or was it just a Lance thing, growing up with younger siblings? Tonight he would say something. They had been moving faster than they expected and were less than a half hour from their campsite, he would have time - he was sure that he would, he had waited too long. 

Lance came over to join Keith why Hunk and Shay sat further down the bank, deep in conversation. Lance and Pidge were at their tethers end, they had been walking around each other and it was becoming obvious that they loved each other. They had been trying to hint on their behalf and failed. Keith was lying on his back with his hat over his face, taking a well deserved nap and all Lance could feel was warmth and adoration to the man lying next to him. He had to tell him soon. He wasn’t sure how though. He had a few things about himself he still had to show Keith. More than his PKU. Keith had been nervous about how he would eat and carry his coolers, they had come to an agreement that Keith would carry the tent and pegs and Trangia so Lance could carry some of his coolers with Hunk taking what Lance couldn’t carry. Keith had made sure that Lance had enough and was taking them, and that his wet food was good enough. It would be the same variations day in day out but it meant he got the necessary foods to keep going, even if he did relent on the ginger biscuits. Lance slathered sun block on himself and angles the bags so that Keith was cast in shadows. Keith moved further into the shadows curling up in on himself, Lance lay down next to him and dozed off till it was time to start to get ready to walk the last kilometre. Both were rudely awoken by Pidge and Matt who dumped water over their heads. After a short water fight, they all toweled off and continued to walk. It wasn't long till the campiste and they had all become proficient in putting up the tents in record time. Soon they were all around the trangias chatting and laughing. 

“Quote of the day has to be from Shay, 'the sheep are sarcastic, cows are judgmental, horses are show offs and the hedgehogs are spying on us.' Like where did it even come from?” Keith was laughing. Shay had had enough of the wildlife flaunting how much better suited they were to the terrain with their four legs. 

“Not my fault that’s what they are, also Hunk?” She quipped, and leaned into towards Hunk, kissing him in front of everyone. “Been waiting too long to do that,”

“Me too hun,”

Lance and Pidge were in shock, demanding to know how long since when how and in general, what the ever loving fuck. Keith and Matt wore bemused smiles at their reaction while Hunk and Shay couldn’t stop laughing. Somehow, Hunk had stopped laughing long enough to tell Pidge,

“You’ll know when you’re older,” This only caused Pidge to look at their brother, an evil glint in their eye. They snuck off at some point Matt, vanishing sometime later with an equally evil smirk on his face. Keith ended up consoling Lance, 

“He didn’t tell me, I’M HIS BEST FRIEND,” and shot daggers towards his flat mate, it was an act of betrayal but Lance hadn’t noticed and he had to admit, they had been sneaky about. Hunk and Shay eventually clambered into a tent and left the two men looking up at the stars. 

“It’s not the same as in Cuba, different constellations, but just look.” He started to point out all the major things going on in the universe. How to see how stars twinkled different colours and to pinpoint celestial events that had happened thousands if not millions of years ago, that had only just reached them at that point. 

“Keith, I have an idea,”

“Go on,”

“My sleeping bag is a double and I know it’s getting cold – especially on such a clear night -and body heat seemed to work last night. I was definitely warmer. And we can open yours up to use as a duvet too and shit I’m rambling. To be warmer do you want to share the double sleeping bag.?

“Sure?” Keith replied, unsure about where this would go or how it would end but it could mean spending the night with Lance. If it went the way Keith wanted, he may not be asleep but he would be in Lances arms or have Lance in his. He got up and moved into the tent, changing into the thermals and putting on a fresh pair of socks. Nothing was better than those clean socks on his feet. Maybe Lance but clean socks were bliss. Soon Lance clambered in and helped Keith sort out the sleeping bags after trying to tie the torches to the loops. Both were struggling, they were too tall for the tent and kept bumping and falling into each other, softly laughing and poking, telling each other to budge.

Eventually they made it into the double sleeping bag, Lance found Keith’s hand and pulled it to his chest, pulling Keith on his side so he could look at him. “Do you mind if we cuddle or anything?” He asked tentatively. Lance wasn’t used to feeling this way, he’d had relationships before and he never went far with them. Lance was a romantic while his partners wanted a quick or constant fuck, but Keith wasn’t like that, he was a friend first and foremost and he would never knowingly overstep any boundary he would set.

“No, I never mind with you,” Keith replied, he took their hands as he turned back over and snuggled into Lance. Who saw this as an opportunity to implement his plan. As he made himself comfortable, he placed his head near Keith’s and started to gently sing. He never sang for anyone outside his immediate family. Not even Pidge or Hunk knew he could. Yes there was the drunk karaoke but nothing like he was going to do.

“I see him smile in his sleep.  
I know that he's a dreamer.  
Oh, I follow every move he makes.  
It's been a long, long night.  
Say you're mine, say you're mine.  
Can I keep you tonight?  
Tonight...and we dance around just like constellations.  
You keep my body warm.  
And we dance around just like constellations.  
You're keeping me awake at night.  
You make my body warm.”

Keith knew this song, he knew Lance had changed the pronouns. Did Lance know what this song mean to him? How it embodied so many emotions for him?

“It's been a long, long night.  
You said you were mine.  
I felt so bad but I had to go.  
No he never wanted me to leave him behind.  
No he never wanted me to leave him  
So long, so long,  
And we dance around just like constellations.  
We dance around just like constellations.  
We dance around, we dance around,  
We dance around, we dance around,  
We dance around, we dance around,  
You make my body warm,  
You make my body warm.”

Keith was so still. His breathing was barely visible. Lance's voice was was practically angelic and he had no idea what to do next.

“I like you Keith, I really like you.” Keith didn’t know how much he wanted to hear those words or how much actually hearing them would mean. It wasn't a declaration of undying love but it said there was a future, full of possibilities, possibility such as an "I love you" . He moved back to face Lance, whose face was so scared, like he was going to spurn his affections, shove it all back and move as far away as possible. Keith had it all wrong. Lance did want him, he had a chance. Here was happiness personified, he didn’t care that Lance had his issues and he would be there to support him. He wanted this, he wanted Lance.

So he wiggled closer to Lance, tangled their legs together and moved their still clasped hands to his own heart. 

"And I you. I really thought we had crossed a boundary that night. I was scared of it being a reality and of you not feeling the same way. Of loosing this friendship. You mean so much to me Lance, I like you too” They pulled each other closer, as much as they could, Keith hadn't sang to anyone either, 

"I wanna ruin our friendship  
We should be lovers instead  
I don't know how to say this  
'Cause you're really my dearest friend  
I wanna ruin our friendship  
I don't know how to say this  
'Cause you're really my dearest friend

Jenny take my hand  
'Cause we are more than friends  
I will follow you until the end  
Jenny take my hand  
I cannot pretend  
Why I never like your new boyfriends."

He sang softly while Lance fell asleep hoping the lyrics conveyed enough. When Lance was a sleep Keith lay awake wondering what the hell he would do now. He eventually found sleep, his nap from earlier doing him no favours and was glad that when he woke up, an arm was curled over his waist. Keith didn't know exactly what they were but they were something right? Anything with Lance was something that he was going to work for and earn. He wanted Lance on their own terms and he wanted to give to Lance as well. before Lance stirred awake, Keith smiled to himself and slipped back into unconsciousness till the sun woke them up once more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [the first song!!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41E1hS2JVYY)  
>  By Chiodos  
> [the second song!!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8lltmvTTuo) its a cover of the original by Studio Killers but it really does convey Keefs emotions better
> 
> some of the stuff has happened to me and frineds while hiking over the years. waking up to a sheep is infinity better than a giant centipede. As well as Rax. that all happened to one of my walking buddies.
> 
> thank you for even reading this, all kudos and comments are very appreciated and make me smile so much escpecially with these last two exams!!!
> 
> [im on tumblr!!!](http://theshadowsandsilhouettes.tumblr.com/)


	12. The Devil's Dome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They survive dartmoor and the angst properly begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM A FREE STUDENT LAST EXAM DONE!!!! and yeah. Now the angst really starts. Im may change the rating later as i may be making this angstier than i originally planned. there was going to be angst but now, more angst.

Lance pulled whatever he was holding closer to his chest as he started to wake up, it wasn’t his normal duvets or even his sleeping bag, it was more stiff yet soft and warm. Then there was dark hair in his face, getting all in his mouth and eyes. It felt good to be this close to Keith and hopefully it wouldn’t back fire on him, if what Keith had said last night was true. 

“Morning sleepy,” Keith whispered into his makeshift pillow of the days clothing. 

“I like this,” He gently replied “Though we really must do something about that mullet,”

“You like it too much, you’d moan if it was cut off”,

“Ah yes I would. And I’m too warm to move,” pulling Keith even closer, so that his back was touching his chest, he wiggled up a bit to tuck Keith under his head. After last night, he didn’t know exactly what to call themselves. They heard the others start to move about and he relinquished his grip on Keith. He went to his tent door and put his hand down on the ground, only to find it very wet, he woke up immediately, cursing at a disturbing rate.

“Keith? Please tell me you’re side isn’t flooded.” Keith poked his head outside the tent door and looked at his bag, and the puddle surrounding it. 

“Shit,”

“Taking that as a no then.” They both got changed and stuffed their dirties in the bottom of the bags along with the rolled sleeping bags. Then they made it out of the outer layering of the tent, only to discover they couldn’t see for shit, it was just fog and low lying cloud, then even had trouble trying to see the furthest tent let along its occupants. The two of them made short work collapsing their tent and ate whatever food they had left cold, Lance did not think of sitting around the Trangias was a good idea, especially with the amount of ground water. 

Not long after, Hunk, Shay, Pidge, Matt and themselves were taking the necessary bearings on their compasses as they were going to have to walk blind through the cloud and fog. They each had tied some rope to another person, Lance with Keith, Hunk with Shay and Matt and Pidge in between the two pairs. They were not to be trusted together. Shay took the lead as she had the better knowledge of the landscape and had the ability to never actually be lost. They had started to climb High Willhays using the paths till they reached the cairns where the path split, the gravel one continued to the top of the tor and a less used grass one to the left, contouring down High Willhays, into the small valley that lead to Kitty “Killer” Tor. 

The path suddenly ended as they reached the valley, and all there was were thicket and thorny shrubbery, that in some cases was shoulder height while the rest of it came up to Lance’s waist. It was something they’d have to get through together, even more so when they could barely see Pidge in their five foot two glory. The walk down was hell, and Lance was glad of his water proof trousers as they were an added layer of protection against the three inch thorns. Keith had no such luck, his legs had scratches and his hands were criss-crossed by deeper scratches and small gouges where he had fallen slightly into one. Though it was a nightmare to clear, they did so in fifteen minutes and were glad when all they had to clear was the foot deep heather that sprawled the valley floor, the small streams from the springs on the hill sides.

When they got to the valley floor, they stopped at the cleanest stream to refill on water as it became their nearest water source, it was beautiful and serene, the clouds less than a metre above Shay’s head. They were all soaked through by now, after walking through the clouds and were glad that the valley floor wasn’t covered in cloud, and annoyed that they’d have to go back in it. Up a hill that was the steepest in Dartmoor and really did earn its nicknames of Killer Tor and the Devils Dome. Even contouring the hill was hard, it was steep and walking at an angle wasn’t comfortable, but it was the lesser of the two evils. The top of the hill, was bound to have thicker cloud and it was a bog, with snap grass, everything Lance wanted to avoid. He also remembered the time that Pidge had fallen down in a hole as the ground collapsed around them. He knew they were going to have to get near the bog as they started to ascend, but like last time, they were walking on bearings alone and didn’t want to walk further than they needed to. 

The rain started to get heavier and the clouds got denser, all six were now tied together, the muddy slop treacherous and though they thought they were close to a path as they could just see the edge of the bog. They had indeed gone far enough but were still stuck with knowing exactly how far along they were. They joined a small animal track through the bog and snap grass, Keith’s attention half on where he stood and leading Lance, the other on Lance himself making sure he didn’t tread anywhere where his ankle could be damaged. After an hour more walking on bearings, they finally found the track they were looking for. 

All of them where sore and tired, wet and miserable. Killer Tor still lived up to its reputation and it was just their luck that they’d had the same weather conditions as last time. They sat on the track no longer caring about the rain and ate the last of the wet food and quickly as possible, again avoiding using the Trangias. All but Lance, who sat to the side, stuck in his own head. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by Keith. 

The track went by the ruins of Victorian dwellings and the stone age settlements, they didn’t know they had even got that far due to the lack of visibility, despite the weather they were still making good time, the clouds were becoming less dense and started to sit high above the ground and visibility became clearer. Something Keith didn’t wish as he saw the ravines either side of the track and decided that looking head was the better idea. 

As the clouds cleared, Shay deemed it safe enough to undo the ropes connecting them, and they saw the minibus in the distance, a little more than a mile off. Down a massive fuck off hill. Pidge and Matt gave each other looks which clearly meant trouble and started to run as best they could down the steep hill face. Keith just walked up to where Lance was taking photos and decided to photobomb one, a photo Lance would then cherish as Keith was so happy even if he was blurred against the background of Princetown in the distance. He chuckled and put his camera away and offered his hand to Keith, who gladly took it, and started their decent.

It only took forty minutes to reach the minibus, where the sun was blistering hot again. Lance looked back and saw what they had walked through. The top of the hills couldn’t be seen as it was all covered in cloud that was only around that area. Nowhere else but there, the rest of the sky was bright and only small wisps of clouds drifted. It would make a great story he thought, thinking about the witches and fae that would live there or died there. How it was meant to trap and ensnare them but they underestimated Shay’s supernatural abilities and the modern compass. He took a photo of the hills and that impenetrable cloud then found Keith sitting on one of the small mounds in the car park looking over Dartmoor, and took a photo of him. In all his serene beauty, a small smile playing against his lips. 

Back on the minibus, Lance and Keith claimed the back seats where they got comfy, hand in hand and tried to relax as much as they could. The nearest stop was Hexworthy, where Shay’s mum bought them all ice cream after they all changed into the spare clothes they had bought and dumped the wet clothes into a bin bag. Soon after they got back into the minibus and just sat in silence, with glorious retellings of their adventures, such as the weir and Lance and the Sheep, much to Lance’s distaste.

They continued as they got back on the motor way and half way through the journey decided it was a good idea to go eat the largest most unhealthy things they could fins. They were all hungry after their walk and most couldn’t wait to eat something greasy once more. All but Lance. He wasn’t feeling hungry. The thought of food, especially greasy food such as the chips from the fast food chains, made him feel sick and he barely touch the small tub of pineapple he had bought for himself. Keith cast a worried glance over at his friend. Boyfriend? They hadn’t discussed what they were going to do, only that they liked each other. Eventually Lance gave up trying to look as if he was eating, and just sat back listening to the Pidge and Matt talk about the pranks they had played on Shay and Hunk last night. He laughed in the right places even if his heart or mind wasn’t really all there, he hadn’t notice Keith’s hand slip once again into his until he felt a slight squeeze of reassurance. 

The last leg of the journey back home was uneventful, most of them had fallen asleep, Lance was leaning on one of the dry bags, though his brows were still furrowed, not even relaxing in sleep. Keith however was still awake, wondering what was going through Lance’s head, what made a ray of actual sunshine not even be able to sleep in peace. He also wondered how his hair would feel, of the weight of Lance him as he slept in the night. Keith had seen a tendency for him to use Lance as a pillow, and as comfy as Lance was and how nice it was being the subject of his embrace, he wanted to do the same for Lance. To be there for him. 

He gently shook Lance awake when they reached Keith’s house, and said his good byes to everyone as they helped him unload his stuff. He opened the door and was greeted by a crushing bear hug from Shiro.

“Takashi I was only gone for less than a week, not like I was abducted by aliens or something,” he barely chocked out, his voice muffled between the fabric of Shiro’s jumper and his own warm clothing. 

“I entirely regret hugging you. Bath. Now. You stink,” replied Shiro, a big smile playing over his features. 

“A bath sounds great, now I’ve stopped, everything thing hurts,” he groaned, he really was starting to feel it in his legs and hips. He backpack was already on the floor as he made his way to the stairs. “Everything needs washing by the way,”

“You expect me to do it for you? Lazy.” But Shiro picked it up anyway as he heard the water running and the thunk of boots against the floorboards. 

Back on the minibus, they dropped Matt and Pidge off at Pidge's apartment an then helped Hunk and Lance move their stuff up the four flights of stairs. Lance gave Hunk first use of the bathroom, while he sorted through all of his dirty clothing as he dibbed first use of the washing machine. He decided to dump as much as possible in, put more than enough washing powder in the tray and let it do its job. It would take two loads to clean as it was a small British washing machine under one of the kitchen surfaces, he would ask Hunk if he thought it might be an idea to use their tumble dryer despite the amount of energy it took to use, they were still uni students with bills to pay. 

The machine started its cycle and he went to his room to gather his things for washing while it was still in use and patiently waited for the bathroom to be vacated. It was nice to know Keith liked him back but what was he going to do now? They had only admitted their feelings and not done anything about it, and the hand holding, while significant for Keith, did it cement the fact that they were in a relationship or just something that had become normal between the two.

It didn’t help that his more negative feelings had started to come back. Food was still an issue and as much as he loved cooking – he never cooked PKU foods either, he couldn’t stand eating nor could he eat the stuff he made. He remembered the bullying, the old medication that was poured in his hair and set like concrete, the fact he stopped eating for so long. The nagging from his dieticians to eat less even though he was a bean pole as a kid with muscle mass. 

That and more was spiralling through his head, there was so much in there and sometimes he just wanted out of it. He heard Hunk leave for his room and went in himself. He put the heat on high and washed out his hair and himself, and just stood there, water falling on his skin, hoping it would wash away everything he hated about himself. Which was a lot in all honesty.

He tried not to remember his school years but it was making its way back in, the way he was isolated and his only solace his large close family. How he was always told he was never good enough and the late diagnoses, which explained everything but was no comfort. He always felt like the ninth wheel and wondered what Keith even saw in him, not that there was much anyway. It took more than a year to accept the fact Pidge, Hunk and eventually Shay actually were friends and not just trying to use him. 

At some point he had sat down in the shower, water pounding against his back and let the tears flow and mix with the shower water. After what seemed an age, he picked himself up dried off and got into the comfiest pjs he had and climbed under his duvets, the weight and the feel of the fabrics soothing. That night his pillows were tear stained and all that could be seen of Lance was a small bump underneath a mountain of duvet. 

Mullet McMulletface: Hey, hope you have a good night  
Mullet McMulletface: does it always feel this good yet so painful after a walk?  
Mullet McMulletface: Shiro is surprised by the amount of washing, apparently I made us run out of washing liquid halfway through the loads  
Mullet McMulletface: guess whos now having to do even more walking to the supermarket  
Mullet McMulletface: COOKIE TIME THEN  
Mullet McMulletface: Lance?  
Mullet McMulletface: I guess its late and you’re asleep, Night night xxx  
Mullet McMulletface: Lance, its 2 in the afternoon and you haven’t replied you ok?  
Mullet McMulletface: Lance why am I getting messages from Hunk asking if something bad happened again?  
Mullet McMulletface: Lance?  
Mullet McMulletface: Youre not hurt again are you  
Mullet McMulletface: please tell me youre ok  
Mullet McMulletface: lance?  
Mullet McMulletface: please reply  
Mullet McMulletface: LANCE  
Mullet McMulletface: ive been messaging all day, and its now 8pm you haven’t replied, please say your ok.  
Mullet McMulletface: fuck it im coming round, im bringing cookies. 

Keith pulled up to the curb outside the old victorian building, and punched in the code Hunk had given him, raced up to the top floor and furiously knocked on the door. Hunk answered it and Keith immediately went to Lance’s door after being invited in and knocked. And waited. And waited. He knocked again and no reply. He looked to Hunk to see if Lance would mind him poking his head round the door, who merely gave a shrug, a concerned look on his face. He gently inched the door open enough to fit his head through and saw Lances duvet and a small bump near where pillows could just about be seen, it looked like he was asleep. His phone was on the opposite side of the room and much of his clean clothes had been untouched. He closed the door again and walked into the kitchen where Hunk was standing.

“How long had he been like that?”

“Since we came back, I noticed he wasn’t eating yesterday,” Hunk replied as he set down his mug of hot chocolate.

“Dammit Lance,” He said as he stole a glance towards Lance’s room, “What’s happening?”

“It wasn’t anything you said was it? Like, after the last time you spent time together?” 

“No, we got that cleared up, if was a misunderstanding of giving the each other space and hoping the other would message first. I wouldn’t be here or even survived the tent if we hadn’t.” Keith slumped down onto one of the chairs at the table and put his face in his hands.

“He didn’t say anything to you when you two got back?”

“Only that he dibbed first use of the washing machine. He put in his washing, organised the rest of it and went into the shower, he was in there for two hours. He then went into his room and he hasn’t left yet.”

Internally Keith was groaning, it didn’t sound good whatever was happening to Lance, somewhere at some point on their walk yesterday something happened with Lance.

“I need to go home as I’m sure the ticket will run out soon, but can you give him these when he emerges?”

“Sure.”

Keith took out the slightly crushed cookies he had picked up yesterday and left the flat. The ride home wasn’t exciting and he worried about Lance. When he got home he sat down on his piano stool and messaged Lance a final time that day

Mullet McMulletface: I left cookies at yours, you were asleep so I left them with hunk to give to you. Please message when you read all this.

He started to warm up on the upright, mostly with scales and the occasional simple piece. Then he started to play, it was mostly the piano accompaniment to the final fantasy xv soundtrack, but damn it was what he needed right now. Fingers moved deftly over the keys as he lost himself in the music, becoming unaware to the lights that turned on in the street and door being shut as Shiro returned from work. 

Before he went to bed, he checked his phone one last time, disappointed to see no notification from Lance on any social media platform. Like usual he didn’t sleep more than 4 hours and those four hours were very interrupted indeed. The next day was business as usual and he was glad to be back in the clinic, an excuse to not look at his phone and a distraction to hide the fact Lance still hadn’t replied and another worried message from Hunk. 

Lance didn’t reply the next day or the day after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just the beginning of the langst, all the stuff with PKU is based on my own experiences and while different for everyone it whats happened to me. 
> 
> IVE FINISHED THE YEAR OF MECH ENG AND IM DONE. SOLID MECHANICS CAN BITE MY ASS FOR ALL I CARE ITS DONE AND OVER FOR A YEAR!!!! So updates will be whenever the chapters are finished, and this is heading place i promise just gonna take time. its a bit short mostly cos ive been revising and updating on the exam day -_-
> 
> thank you for reading and leaving the kudos and comments the latter really do make my day!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> [I'm on tumblr!!!!!](https://theshadowsandsilhouettes.tumblr.com)


	13. I'm Not Going Anywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonding with angst and fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> implied homophobia at the end, nothing referenced explicitly though. 
> 
> Sorry in advance for the angst.

The next six days were agony for Keith while he was not in the clinic to distract himself. He was talking to Hunk who had kept him up to date, not that there was much to report. Lance was only leaving his room when Hunk was out otherwise not much could be heard or seen of him. It hurt Keith so much to hear Lance being so alone. He’d stopped checking his phone two days ago and gave up hope of Lance replying anytime soon. Life went on as usual, he worked at the clinic helping Allura and taking lead on some of the more regular people. He caught up with Pidge and their new project and was surprised to hear they wanted to play squash.

He remembered trying to teach them when they were working on Shiro’s arm, and they caught on fast. 

“I don’t want to go back to the trampoline club, they’re all arseholes who ignored Lance without a broken leg, and somehow managed to ignore him even more when he did. They also never talked to me either. It’s time for a change,” they said while musing some of their code. A large local business had asked the uni for some of their ethical hackers to test their security system and they just left it to Pidge. They were one of five people on the course and was easily the best of them all. They were also getting paid for it and it went towards their honours project as base research into “How businesses today are being sold poor security systems and measures that should be taken to avoid it.” Keith was sure it should just say hire Pidge Holt and it would get full marks.

“I have some courts booked next week with some other members, but you can come up if you want to get back into it?”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” they smiled, mostly from the inclusion and having friends but also that they had cracked the system in less than a few hours. It was only the baseline stuff but it meant that any malicious intent could have further access with more time. Pidge then ran a diagnostic on the system to find out where all the error points where and their recommendations for them to be improved. Probably end up doing it themselves, Keith thought to himself. He then heard his phone vibrate against the coffee table in Pidge’s Living room, it was either Shiro texting about being late or Allura asking him to do some overtime, no matter whoever had replied he would have to reply. Mostly because it made Shiro feel better if he was sent some of the bad pun stickers – it made his evenings more bearable too and well, it’s polite to reply to your boss. But instead, he saw a reply he wasn’t expecting. 

Sir Lancelotl : Sorry

“Pidge, you mind if I leave? Lance has just messaged,” Keith asked, after getting concerned that they hadn’t been sent any memes on more than three days, they had messaged Hunk and all three were in the same boat. 

“Thank god, what he say?”

“Only replied with sorry. I’m gonna go check on him, I’ll message what happens. I know he’s like your second older brother.” He turned towards the door, picked up his coat and bag and walked the few streets to Lance’s building. It took a few times to punch in the correct code and tied to make his way up the flights as quickly as possible, and gently knocked on the door to Lance’s flat. Hunk opened the door, looking like he had lost many nights worth of sleep, though he doubted he looked any better but at least he was used to it. 

“Go to Shay’s and get some sleep, I’ll be here,” Keith gently said, “You need to sleep, I’ll message if anything happens ok?”

Hunk nodded, grabbed some stuff from his room picked up the keys and rang Shay, asking her to pick him up. Keith closed the door behind him and knocked on Lance’s bedroom door, a small almost indistinguishable noise came back. An invitation, one that Keith took and opened the door. Lance’s room hadn’t really changed much except the bundles of dirt clothing on the floor, the curtains were drawn and the small bump in the covers had moved. 

“Lance?”

Another small noise was his only reply. He walked forward to where he thought Lance would be facing and crouched down so he could get on Lance’s eye level. He wasn’t prepared for what he saw. Lance looked horrible, his eyes were red and puffy, dark bruised underneath them. He had started to pale and looked so forlorn and forgotten. Keith could hear his heart breaking around his ears, could practically see Lance’s broken heart. 

“Oh Lance,” His gaze was worried and so full of emotions he could barely keep hold of, and he was sure his voice had cracked from it all. All the hurt he felt emanating off Lance. “Lance.” He breathed again and he did the only thing he could, and made his way under the duvets, rolled Lance on top of him and held him in his arms, one hand stroking his hair and the other wrapped protectively round Lance’s waist. Lance just lay there, his arms at Keith’s side and cried into Keith’s shirt. 

Eventually Lance’s cries turned to whimpers, which in turn calmed down as Lance fell into a fitful sleep, all while Keith reassured Lance either by stroking his hair or making small circles on his back. Keith thought back to when everything went wrong for him, how often he had wanted to have someone do this for him, to make reassure him he wasn’t alone, that someone cared. He also liked holding Lance like this but he wished it would have been under better circumstances. 

An hour later, Lance woke up again, looked up to him, that downtrodden face still made its appearance. Keith raised a hand to Lance’s face and used his thumb to remove the tear that had started to fall.

“Hey, its ok, I’m not going anywhere. How about we get you in the shower right?” He moved Lance gently so that he was sitting on his legs and then helped him up, lead him to the bathroom and got some towels and a fresh set of pjs. 

“Hunk told be that last time you were in there for two hours, if it gets past half hour I’ll knock on the door ok? I’ll also put on a timer too.” He then turned and closed the door and waited outside till he heard to water going and sent the timer on his phone and left it near the door. He then went back into Lance’s room and removed the dirty clothing off the floor, careful not to move anything else, just the clothes and put them in the small washing machine. While Keith was in the kitchen he put on the kettle and found some tea bags, being sure to add honey into Lance’s mug so at least he had some energy, while the tea wouldn’t be sickeningly sweet. 

“Keith?” a call came from the hall way, Keith picked up the two mugs and saw Lance in the hallway in the clean pjs. 

“I’m still here, I haven’t left.” He watched Lance walk slowly towards him as he offered Lance’s tea to him. He wondered back into his room and sat on the duvets rather than crawl back in them. It was a start at least.

“I’m so sorry. Everything started to crumble around me again. I disassociate when days get bad, they don’t happen often but this one has been building and worse than normal.” Keith offered up his hand which Lance then took. “There’s a lot that’s there and I can’t process it now, but tomorrow can you help me?” “Of course, you’re still my friend more than anything else right now and as your friend I will help in anyway,” he gently laid a kiss to Lance’s forehead.

“I want to tell you but I can’t even face it myself. I need help. I tried so many years ago when I first came over but they saw me on a very good day and said I wasn’t bad enough. I’ve been dealing with it alone ever since.”

Keith started to rub small circles on the back on Lance’s hand as he spoke, “You’re not alone now, I won’t leave unless you want me to. Can you face eating anything?”

“Are there any apples left? Or yogurts?” 

“I think I saw some, you mind if I go check?” Lance nodded, he came back with one of the small children’s yogurt tubs and an apple, at this point Keith didn’t care if it took Lance all night to eat, as long as he ate. It looked like he hadn’t taken any of his Coolers either and went to get one while Lance started on the yogurt. He was only able to eat half the apple but it was better than nothing, and he then lent into Keith, whose arms fell round him again.

“Can you stay the night?”

“I told you, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be in the living room if you need me ok?”

“No, stay here please, I don’t want to be alone again,” Is that how lonely he felt? Though Keith wasn’t surprised after the amount of time he spent alone over the last week. He knew no matter what happened from here out, he would still be Lance’s friend and would always be there for him. He deserved that much. 

“Tomorrow I’ll help you ok? You think you can get some sleep?” A small node come back and Lance got lost in the duvets once more. Keith removed his jeans and shirt and crawled back under where he found Lance in a small ball, he then curled up around him and lay there as Lance drifted off into sleep. Keith didn’t sleep much that night, not that he usually did anyway, but he began to see the appeal of the many duvets. The weight was nice and he wasn’t actually overheating, he just lay there and listened to Lance’s breathing, hoping that Lance would be feeling better in the morning. He knew it wasn’t going to be a magic fix up but if he could get out of bed a bit more, it was something. 

He remembered what it felt like in his darker years, the hopelessness and all the shit that came with it. He should have taken a year out but he kept going through the year, dealing with all his shit with his therapist while maintaining his grades and forcing himself to do better. It did impede his mental health but back then, he never really felt like he belonged anywhere, even with Shiro and his parents. He felt like all he had was himself and he had to do well, that he wasn’t allowed to fuck up occasionally. But he made his way out of it, it was long and hard but he did it, with the help of his friends at squash and his brother.

Once Lance was awake, he made porridge for himself and gave Lance one of the yogurt pots, even though PKU was part of their medical syllabus, he didn’t actually know how severe Lances was or what he could and couldn’t eat because of the severity. He knew all high protein foods such as meat, fish, eggs, milk and pastas were off the menu and assumed bread was too. He really should have thought about it when he bought the cookies round, though he did also leave them for Hunk too. While Lance was in the shower, Keith messaged Hunk and Pidge and tried to find Thea’s number. Or at least the number for her office. She was a good therapist and had helped Keith and also understood the student financial situations. He knew a relationship wouldn’t fix Lance, it would take a long time to get to point where Lance would be able to see days like this and be able to get through them, but it didn’t mean he wouldn’t be Lance’s side, encouraging him and helping when needed. He helped Lance through the first phone call to Thea’s office and getting an appointment, holding his hand in reassurance, and managed to get him to eat a bit more fruit. Throughout the day, Lance seemed to perk up, getting back to his usual self, which Keith was now sure was partially a façade, a face to wear to make sure everyone thought he was ok. He was getting better at reading Lance, knowing what was forced and what was actually Lance and his personality. 

They spent the day indoors but no longer in Lance’s room and Keith had managed to convince Lance to play against him on Mario Kart, claiming the last time wasn’t fair for some bullshit reason. He helped Lance cook some mash and veg and made sure that Lance actually ate. Lance might not enjoy eating but it was necessity he couldn’t forgo, and he was very grateful that Keith wasn’t pushing but him being there was enough. Gods he loved that guy, it didn’t help he was still feeling guilty about ignoring him or pushing him away. He was stuck in a deep hole that had only been getting deeper since he started uni. And here was Keith, helping him to build a ladder from the bottom up. 

Once they were done and cleaned away all the dishes, Lance finally found the courage to speak more than a few words.

“Thanks for not trying to fix me but help me. Thanks for being there and not judging me, I’m so so sorry I ignored you and everyone, I’ve been going through shit and I’ve been doing it on my own and something just snapped, I had one bad day too many that I couldn’t hide it anymore. I tried to be strong for too long. I’m sorry. I still really like you and nothing on that matter has changed except for the better. 

I’d like to be your boyfriend if you’d let me,” Lance whispered that last bit, not being able to look at Keith, Keith who had done so much and not shied away from the mess that was himself. Keith who stayed, Keith who had somehow gotten him to eat even when Hunk couldn’t. He didn’t see Keith expression of love, he didn’t see Keith hand reach for his, he couldn’t bring himself to hope that despite what Keith had seen, he still like Lance.

Then he felt a hand in his, and the words he never dared to hope of hearing.

“This doesn’t scare me, there’s still a lot you don’t know, but in time you will. I want to be with you and I would call it an honour if I could be your boyfriend. I want to be able to help you Lance, you’re not alone, I know I can’t fix you nor do I want to but I do want to help you. I want to be here for you,”

Lance felt like careening into Keith but he restrained himself, he had already asked so much from Keith, he didn’t want to take another thing. But then he felt Keith embrace him, which he gladly returned. He didn’t have to do all this for him, but it did make him feel that tiny flicker of hope for himself burn slightly brighter. He knew he treated everyone, with as much compassion as he could, finding it hard to see the bad in people, forgiving easily and loving freely even if it came back to bite him, he was open and really did want to be the person who people could turn to and depend on. But he couldn’t stand himself, he was faking it till he made it. He had so many issues and been through so much but he was still going which was the whole point. He may fall down but he always picked himself back together, and he was sure Keith and the rest of his friends would help him piece them back together. 

He was truly blessed to have met Keith, 

“I don’t deserve you,”

“Yes you do, and not just cos I’m perfect in every sense of the word.” Keith gave a wink and managed to coax a small laugh out of Lance. “You think you can leave the flat?”

“Yeah, Henry’s is still open in town? It’s a ten minute walk if we go through the other uni campus,”

“Sounds like a plan.”

They took their time getting ready and left the flat holding hands looking quite the picture. They were dive bombed by the seagulls which leads to a humours rant about them and how the further north you got, the larger, uglier and less scared they got. 

“I would totally fight a seagull if it tried to steal my food.” Lance boasted, he was starting to cheer up and bounce back. 

“Please do as one had stood on my head and stole my food straight from my mouth. Shiro was laughing his arse off for more than a month saying I’d been French kissed by a fucking seagull. I still have the blackmail of him in braces and a very stupid haircut, and a phone call away from our parents for more ammo. If he ever tells you, please please let me loose with Pidge.” Fully laughing now, Lance had to lean on Keith for support. Keith turned on him.

“Are you laughing at my misery?”

“No just your quest for revenge and readiness to gang up on Shiro. Its sweet,” He smiled and was glad to see a smile playing over Keith’s face, showing his contained laughter. 

“He’s my brother, I’m allowed,”

“I was always the one being terrorised, being the second oldest with a set of younger triplets. Anna, my older sister blamed everything on me, then you have Heather, Rebecca and Thomas, the little heathens. They actually like marmite. Like how? I sent it over as a joke for them, not for them to actually like it!” Keith couldn’t contain his laughter anymore, and Lance was starting to feel better, once shit was out of his system he bounced back quickly. His bad days didn’t happen often but when they did, it was bad. 

They soon made it to Henry’s and ordered their respective drinks, Lance going for a full works hot chocolate made with water and decadent amounts of spice and vanilla sprinkles. Keith just went for a large lemon iced tea and grabbed a sofa while Lance’s drink was still being made. Lance knew it would though, he was just glad they said yes after explaining his medical condition. He’d had too many close shaves when he was given sugar free instead of full sugar in the states. The sugar free had Aspartame in it all over the world and the phenylalanine in it was so great that he was sick for three days. He hated explaining his PKU and it was always the same reactions of either pity or awkward questions. All he wanted was a hot chocolate, not to recite his well practiced speech about PKU

Soon Lance joined him sitting close to Keith, who made no complaints what so ever. They got cosy on the sofas and get closer so that their arms were touching and Keith lay his head on Lances shoulder, while Lance’s arm snaked around Keith making sure he kept close. From an outsiders view it just looked like two guys on a date, and maybe it was. But it was also just two friends hanging out as well, one trying to make the other feel like he wasn’t alone and to just enjoy each other’s company. 

“I said there was stuff you still didn’t know about me and that it would come with time, but you know how I was adopted at fourteen because I ran and bumped into Shiro? At the time, I was dealing with realising that I am gay, and the care home I was in wasn’t exactly tolerant. They threatened all sorts and the negative reinforcement of my grades which were all A’s, my personality everything that they could insult and demean got to me and I ran. It was the last thing I could stand and it began the downwards spiral. 

My parents and Shiro were there but I never felt I could go to them, in case they’d abandon me when they found out how fucked up I was. I got good at hiding my true feelings and the nickname Dark and Brooding really was accurate. When I came out to them, they just gave me a hug and accepted me as I was. Then in second year, Mum and Dad and Shiro where there for me when it all fell around me. They helped me get help. It’s how I knew Thea’s number and she will try to help you no matter how long it takes.”

Lance was silent at Keith confession, mulling it over, he knew there was more Keith wasn’t saying, but it was a start and a sign of trust between the two of them. “All my life, my PKU has caused issues. Dieticians, children not much my family, they tried to make me feel normal. I lived my life but kids are cruel. I stopped eating for years and it affected me so badly. The only social interaction I had was with my family and in the gymnasium. I was so alone, and still here, the only friends I had were Hunk, Pidge and Shay. I flirted to for company and it was fun, if meaningless, sometimes it worked with people and sometimes it could have been something. But all they wanted was a fuck and that’s not who I am. 

“All it did was reinforce the negative view I had of myself. I try to see the best in everyone, be the person I want to be. But, as much as I love everyone else but the way I see myself, some days I see what I want to see but most of the time not so much so I fake it till I make it. Its not good but. Here we are.”

Keith snuggled closer into Lance, he was surprised to hear that, he hated that there was so much underneath all that, that Lance had yet to come to terms with. They weren’t talking loud and it was only enough for them to hear, and though they were talking about their pasts, they enjoyed each other’s company, knowing, that if only for this fleeting moment, they would be there for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a good place to end the chapter!!!
> 
> Thanks for reading, the Kudos and the comments, they really do make my day and i like that you enjoy it. 
> 
>  
> 
> [I'm on tumblr!!!](http://theshadowsandsilhouettes.tumblr.com/)


	14. Lyrics On The Walls.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a lot of fluff and Lance gets to see a side of Keith few see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah real life stuff happened and im sorry about that, but this was nice to write.

They made it back to Lance’s soon after the shops started to close, both reluctant to leave the other. Everything was so new yet so normal; them casually hanging out for drinks, being so close, Lance’s gravity made it hard to pull away. But as he grew closer the more he learned and the more he felt for him. He would have liked to have thought that them being like they were would have been inevitable, that no matter what universe they were in they would have found each other. 

As much as he wanted to spend time with Lance, he really did need to go home. It had been over a day since he had a full wash rather than the pathetic one he managed in the bathroom sink earlier that day. But he didn’t want to leave Lance, no after that admission. It was selfish as he wanted to spend time with his boyfriend but he also wanted to make sure he wouldn’t be alone again so soon after starting to return to a warped sense of normal. 

“Lance, I have to go home,” but he was interrupted before he could finish his sentence. 

“I know, I didn’t expect this to last anyway. Well, I mean today anyway. Thank you though for helping me through the last of it,”

“As I was saying, I have to go home but now you have an official status you get certain invitations,” Keith replied moving his hands to help Lance understand what he was trying to mean.

As realisation dawned on Lance’s face, he quickly added, “Not in any sexual way just it means you can see that part of me.” Lance grabbed Keith’s hand and practically dragged him up the flights of stairs and made him sit on the bed while he packed some stuff to take over.

“Will I need night stuff? I’m taking night stuff just in case. Where’s my coolers? Oh yeah I ran out, be back in a sec.” Lance ran out the room and could hear boxes being moved, curious he went to look and was greeted by the image of Lance sawing away at the cardboard box with a carving knife. Lance moved the box on top of the small freezer and grabbed some of its contents then stuffed them in his bag. It took Lance a further five minutes to get everything sorted and was rocking on the balls of his feet just waiting to go. They took Keith’s bike back to his, the old house that was of a similar age to Lance’s building but actually had space and didn’t feel cramped. Lance had only ever seen the ground floor and using the downstairs toilet rather than risk invading the brothers’ privacy but it was enough to see that it was indeed big. When they arrived at the house, Keith let them in and went upstairs to have a shower, not that Lance blamed him, sink washes were awful at the best of times. He went and sat down in the living room and thought back to that day when Keith had fallen asleep on him and the aftermath. Probably wasn’t the best thing to be thinking about he admitted to himself but it was Keith face as he initially woke that he couldn’t get out of his head. It was like he was the only thing that mattered to him, it made him feel wanted and that thought alone might help sway the thoughts slightly. A tiny but more ammo to arm himself with when his brain tried to tell him otherwise. 

As much as Keith wanted to bare this part of himself to Lance, he was struggling to keep his emotions in check. He was nervous and scared, no one besides his immediate family had ever been in his room. None of the exes nor the extended Shirogane family if they came to visit, it was a place that was entirely Keith a bolt hole he could retreat to when the world had become too much. After he had managed to get all the shampoo out of his hair and got into something more comfortable than the clothes he had been wearing, he made his way to where Lance was, only just realising, he had no idea what Lance could actually eat safely or if there was anything in the house at all. His studies even now started to cover PKU too, the how and why side but living with it must be something else completely. 

“Hey Lance, I really hope I’m not overstepping but what can you eat and what do you like to eat? I don’t mean to offend, its more so I don’t make you ill by accident,” Keith internally groaned. He wasn’t handling this right and he knew food was a sensitive topic.

“I get this often enough that I’m not fazed by it, I mostly stick to fruit, veg, rice and potatoes with yogurts and cereal bars. Such diversity for what it is. I can have some protein, I have to. That’s why there’s concentrated amino acids in the coolers, along with vitamins and minerals from all the stuff I can’t eat. I gave up weighing food a long time ago but I know how much a potato is or working it out myself. You won’t kill me.”

It touched Lance’s heart that Keith understood food was a touchy subject and that he was willing to understand what he could and couldn’t eat. But there was that nagging fear that he would be dumped soon after a few dates as it became clear he couldn’t eat anywhere, that Keith couldn’t stand the fact that Lance constantly had to explain his PKU. It had happened before, with his past relationships, platonic or romantic. People could stand him being bi but not being able to eat protein, the coolers and the issues that arose from it? No one but his family and closest friends wanted to understand. 

Keith’s kitchen was huge and well stocked and Keith hoped there was at least something he could give Lance as a meal as it was getting late. He opened up the fridge and looked inside, there were some soft fruits but everything else had protein; the bread, the meat, the eggs, the pasta from last night, everything bar the soft fruits had protein in. Keith decided that that would change so Lance could come over and know that food would be there if he wanted to eat. He then pulled out the raspberries and grapes and was annoyed by the fact that the strawberries had gotten over ripe before the eat by date; he was looking forward to those. 

He placed the fruit on one of the work surfaces and turned to the cupboards to rummage through to see if there was anything else, but to no avail. When he turned around he was greeted with a guilty looking Lance, raspberries in hand. He continued to eat the one he had just picked up, neither breaking eye contact.

“They were meant for you anyway, don’t look so guilty. Leave at least one for me,” said Keith, struggling to contain giggles, because fuck, Lance was not allowed to look that cute. At all. It should be illegal. They stood and talked while Lance went about murdering the raspberries, then moved onto the grapes – throwing them up in the air and attempting to catch them in his mouth. Granted, most the time they hit his eye or nose or missed completely, occasional grape got lobbed at him while he was waiting for the kettle to boil for some cous cous. When his cous cous was ready and Lance had sufficiently run out of grapes, he sat on one of the surfaces and wondered how much he should tell Lance, he knew he was adopted and the circumstances but he realised he never actually spoke about his parents or his time over here that was actually good. 

Of course he wanted Lance to know those happy times, he wanted to share more happy memories with Lance and create them. He was going to say something but Lance beat him too it.

“Thanks for the fruit, you didn’t have to. I would have been fine with some water or something,”

“Lance, you’re my guest. And more importantly my boyfriend who I care about very much, you really think I was going to let you go hungry or uncomfortable?”

“True, very true, and I like it when you call me that. There was me think we would be space ranger partners.” Keith gave Lance a very dry look in return as he continued to eat the bowl of cous cous. 

“You trying to make that our version of gals being pals? Cos that was terrible.” Keith continued to eat the last of the cous cous and placed the empty bowl in the dishwasher. “In other news, come with me.” He linked their hands and lead Lance up the stairs and to the door on the far right. He steeled himself and opened his door, the vermillion walls peeking out from the book cases, with lyrics written in black paint all over the walls and ceiling. His wardrobe had old tickets and other posters on it and more posters could be seen on the ceiling. A double bead was tucked in the corner, partially hidden by the wardrobe. There were some cables by the bed and a desk was behind the door where all of Keith’s notes and revision from the medical exams he had sat a month earlier. 

Lance was in awe of the room, it was like his own back in the states in one respect but it was so Keith and he understood why he kept it to himself. He was sure the writing on the wall held a lot of meaning to him. The largest one was right above the centre of the bed and the first he saw walking in. _“A final opinion is of less value than an appreciation and tolerance of obscurity.”_ He recognised those lyrics, Keith had been playing it one day when they just sat and enjoyed each other’s company rather than talking. All the writing was lyrics he realised, stuff that must have been incredibly important to Keith to mark it upon his walls. 

Keith looked at Lance, his eyes were wide and taking everything in, from his unmade bed to the posters and tickets. Lance hadn’t let go of his hand and he felt a gently tug, and followed it where Lance embraced him, 

“Thank you for letting me in,”

That’s all that was needed for small tears to start threatening to fall, and he hadn’t noticed where Lance had placed their intertwined hands. Over Keith’s heart. He turned to face Lance, 

“This is how much I trust you. No one but Shiro and my parents have seen it,” the shock became clear in Lance’s face but it quickly morphed into something else, something better. Keith couldn’t quite pinpoint it but it made it easier to guide Lance on to his bed, where he sat cross legged in one of the corners, where most of his pillows were. Lance sat opposite Keith, back against the wardrobe, being careful not to tear one of his posters that was clearly signed. There was an awkward silence, neither knowing really what to do next, it was late but it was too early to sleep.

“Keith, do you have any audio books?”

“Yeah on my ipad, gimme a sec,” and crawled over the duvets to get to the tablet that was precariously resting on a book stack on his book cases. He grabbed it and lay over the bed and angled the tablet so that Lance could see the screen. It was mostly Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett and BBC recordings, with a few other stories here and there. 

“Is that what I think it is?”

“Which one?”

“Neverwhere. I remember watching the tv show when I was like twelve. My parents got me into it after they saw how much I loved stardust, the book not the film. The ends are totally different but both are good in their own ways.” Neverwhere it was then. The opening choral music started to play as it was introduced and Anthony Head could be heard. Keith made himself comfy again as Lance joined him, both of them wanting contact but not knowing how to ask for it. Tentatively, Keith lay his arm over Lance’s waist and when he felt Lance’s arm over his and holding his hand, he made that contact tighter bringing Lance in towards him.

They lay there for a while listening to Neverwhere and Lance started to drift off, which is where Keith asked if he wanted to stay the night, save him walking home. Something Lance agreed to almost immediately and wondered down the stairs to collect his bag. Keith found his pj bottoms and went into the bathroom to clean up and change before he tried for some sleep. Not that he got much these days, he returned to his room and saw Lance sitting on the edge of the bed looking lost. He had already changed and a neat pile of clothes sat next to his bag, his face lit up when he saw Keith had returned, his eyes were bright and a smile graced his features. It was like Keith was his world and no one else mattered in that instance. Keith easily returned that smile as he sat next to him and leaned against him.

Lance gave a small chuckle as he looked down at Keith, wide eyed and soft looking. Like nothing was going wrong with Lance himself and he wasn’t put off by how he seemed to break down for a while. He tried not to let his brain convince him it was only a matter of time before Keith gave up on him and left for someone better. Instead he allowed himself to be pulled back further onto the bed and into that corner with all the pillows. He may have liked many duvets on his bed but it seemed Keith needed many pillows to be comfy enough. That or he made pillow forts every night, though it was probably both.

He rearranged the pillows just enough that he could lie down in comfort and was surprised to see that when Lance got comfy on his back, that Keith sidled up close enough to lie across him with his head on his chest, and an arm resting on his shoulders and his hand playing with the end of Lance’s hair.

“It’s so soft,” Keith mused continuing to play with it.

“I take good care of it and don’t let it grow into a mullet.”

“You know you love my hair,” he couldn’t counter than considering he was trying to move the damp locks of hair out of Keith’s face and wondering how it felt when dry. It was obviously thing and he wondered how much braiding he could do with it, as he knew it could go up in a pony. He also wondered how much more gorgeous it would make him, his heart fluttered at the thought. He was brought back by the satisfied noises Keith made, like a cat getting that scratch behind the ear it wanted. Lance stopped, unsure of what just happened.

“Don’t stop, it was nice,” pouted Keith and went back to messing with Keith’s hair. With his free hand, Lance moved the duvet up so that it covered them both then wrapped it around Keith. By some miracle, Keith started to doze off and Lance kissed his forehead then carefully adjusted himself as he tried to get comfy again. He realised the audiobook was still playing but didn’t mind, he usually had music on when he fell asleep and soon joined Keith in sleep.

The first thing Keith realised when he started to wake was that his feet were cold, and so was his back. Come to think of it his entire right leg was freezing. The sun was only just rising so he assumed it was about three in the morning and realised Lance had somehow managed to steal all the duvets in the night. The little thief, he thought to himself as he worked out where his limbs were as they had moved during the night. They were still facing each other, but Lance was curled up in a tight ball, hang on for dear life to Keith’s right arm, with all the duvet around him.

Keith was now awake and wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep anytime soon, nor could he go anywhere with his arm encased by Lance. He had no idea when Lance would wake up or if he would move again, he hoped he would – he wanted some duvet back. It was a double bed! There should have been enough duvet. He smiled to himself despite his boyfriend hogging all the duvet and saw how relaxed Lance looked in sleep; no thoughts to chase away, no worries about food or appearances or any of the things that bothered Lance in his waking hours. 

The rising sun cast warmth and shadows over his beautifully brown skin, highlighting his beauty. He may be ace but he still had eyes and the image before him could have been a master piece in a gallery. Keith never wanted to forget this, even if he was cold. This small moment in time was worth the small problem of being cold. Some hours later, Keith was still stuck and Lance’s legs got tangled with his. Not that Keith was complaining, he’d managed to put on some music and had his earbuds in so he didn’t disturb him and was very happy about this. It was nice to wake up like this, so at ease where the world is literally his room. Where nothing could hurt them. There was a gentle knock on the door and Shiro entered his room,

“Do you want me to leave out some breakfast as I have the time? Oh,” Shiro looked down at the bed and saw Keith tangled and cold with Lance right next to him. Keith sent a glare at his brother, who decided to get out of the room as quickly as possible lest he face the wrath of Keith at some point during the day. It wasn’t like Keith was hungry and he still didn’t want to disturb Lance so he lost himself in his music again and was grateful to doze off into a very light sleep.

Lance pulled whatever he was hugging closer to his chest as he woke up, he was warm and content and he had slept well despite the lack of duvets but Keith’s weight made up for that. He managed to make his eyes open fully and was greeted by Keith waking up very close to his face. He then realised what he was hugging. He removed himself from Keith’s arm and started to begin his morning rituals. Leaving Keith staring at the ceiling wondering what he had done to deserve this man in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so depression - depsite being on meds for it - had managed to kick my butt and honestly, im not sure if i'll be posting any more chapters. i can end it here and to give some ending or just abandon it, then write as i want it just for me and never show anyone. im just being stupid wanting validation and it gets harder to post these chapters with every one, but it really is me being stupid and i dont want to put something out that people dont like or read. 
> 
> hope you enjoyed this chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> [I'm on tumblr!!!](https://theshadowsandsilhouettes.tumblr.com)


	15. The Tiny Words That Break Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hella lot of angst, Pidge and the gang care and plot starts to move again!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this , the first part was really easy to write but hard to face as this literally had been my experience with PKU and i still hate it at times despite everything ive done, including being in mountain rainforest researching herpetology in Honduras. 
> 
> There is a lot of fluff at the end though which was a lot more fun to write :D
> 
> Also it may be slightly triggering for those who have issues with suicide. its nothing explicit more feelings of ceasing to be, to avoid this, skip over from He was fully shaking now and restart at it took him a while. 
> 
> title is lyrics from Breaking and Entering by Tonight Alive

Lance started his sessions with Thea the next week, after an initial check over, to start the CBT and was glad to hear that she had treated people with food disorders before. She had agreed with the diagnosis’ from the states with the clinical depression, self worth issues but also the lack of meaningful interaction outside of his family had made him have a warped sense of self.

“If you don’t mind, we’ll start with the PKU, as that’s what you said you felt was your biggest issue, physically and mentally. Is this ok with you? You will need to revisit some painful memories but we can stop if it gets too much,” Lance merely nodded and mentally prepared himself to get through what he chose to forget all those years ago. 

“I used to be on the aminogram, Mama and I called it concrete for a reason: its texture, the taste, the smell, everything about it reminded me of concrete and flavouring was done by adding squash to it. It also dried like it too. We found this put when it was poured in my hair when I was in second grade. It was taken and dumped, it was poured on my stuff. It was the source of pain for a while. 

“Then I started to trial new medication it wasn’t much better but it was easier to take even if the smell was worse than before. It didn’t take long till that was poured over stuff and me then stolen. My parent complained to the school at all levels but jack shit was done. Throughout this time people picked up on the different food. They bullied me cos my bread was too white or because I’m Latino I couldn’t afford real food. They then began to bully me because of the PKU its self. Saying that it was “God’s” way of saying just die already and that I shouldn’t be alive and that I should have died. They force fed me stuff they knew were high in protein that could be snuck in lunch boxes. 

“By fifth grade I had stopped eating lunches and kept to myself. The dietitians were also pushing ideologies down my throat with information that turned out to be years out of date. They were also annoyed at how much I weighted even though I was trampolining and active, there was still baby fat which left when I hit growth spurts but I was still a healthy weight and active. 

“By the end of fifth grade I had stopped eating all together, hiding it from my parents as the triplets had been born and everyone was helping to look after them. It then became easier when I didn’t turn up for meals as the work loads increased from school.

“Then I met Nyma at the gymnasium and we became synchro partners and she believed in me. She also encouraged me to eat, we ended up in the same high school. Even tied me to a tree jokingly when she found out I hadn’t ate and sat with me there till I’d had something even if she had had to hand feed me it.” He laughed at the memory, it was rather funny in hindsight. “When I decided I wanted to pursue and academic career rather than a world title we drifted apart and fast and it was no where near a clean break. We’ve made up now and are back to being good friends since my fuck up but she did a lot for me.

“When I got to uni, I met Pidge and Hunk and they accepted it even after I hid it from them, they didn’t see me as less but I grew up being told life first and PKU second. But it never felt like that, it felt like a shame one that wasn’t my fault but still a burden to bear because it makes up so much of your life. Its food, you can’t avoid that.” Tears had steadily been falling down his face, it always hurt to talk about it and it didn’t help the antidepressants were still settling so his moods were all over the place.

“My family were always fine with it some of the extended members had issues at first but they got over it, and my family know what’s happening now but I shouldn’t have gotten to this point.” That phone call to his parents had been hard and he had needed Keith by his side and for him to be there when it got hard to explain. Keith had left Lance to explain the finer points in detail, not wanting to intrude and let Lance tell him when he was ready. 

Lance fell silent, the tears not stopping. He had reopened wounds he thought had healed when in reality all he had done was keep walking on them, ignoring them in favour of survival. Now that he had stopped his proverbial run he was feeling their pain. He hadn’t meant to say all that but he found that once he had started he couldn’t stop. There was more about it that he had left unsaid but those major cuts were still fresh and bleeding. Four years still wasn’t much time in comparison to the entirety of his life. Lance helped himself to some of the tissues that Thea offered to him and tried to pull himself back together long enough to hear Thea’s reply.

“And how about now? Does your PKU stop things?”

“Yes, I don’t feel comfortable going out especially if foods involved. I don’t like eating and it’s easy to forget to do so. I hate having to explain my PKU to everyone and people deciding that me needed full sugar gives them the right to give me sugar free or add milk so that I get violently sick. I hate the fact that I have PKU and I hate the fact that it makes me feel this shit.” He was fully shaking now, his cries were audible and falling so very fast. He just wanted to be ok with this without feeling like a fuck up and the sincere need to fade out of existence, not even suicide. He just want to cease to be. 

It took a while for him to calm down enough to be coherent again as he explained that issue, which was linked to the depression but it didn’t mean it would be hard to get away from it. It was there on his bad days and occasionally would flit across his mind despite all his attempts for it to just go away. 

Thea talked to him a bit more about himself and how they were going to try to make it better, starting with letting the meds settle then working on the more positive connections to be made with food and to start on the working out of how the thoughts start and how his vicious cycles go. 

When the session ended he was glad to see Keith waiting with his bike to take him home, he was in need of reassurance and love, it had been a very emotionally taxing hour and a half. He didn’t think he could deal with being alone either, especially with the meds messing with his emotions while they tried to find stability in the hormones and chemicals in his brain. His stupid and fucked up brain. Wait, he shouldn’t be thinking that. The ride home wasn’t long but it was nice to feel Keith’s solid frame in his arms, and he was glad that Keith didn’t push for anything and gave up all the reassurance he needed, be it in words or physical contact as they lay on his bed till the late evening. They just cuddled, exchanging a few words to make sure the other was ok. When Keith had to go, he gently placed a kiss to the top of his forehead and promised he’d message as soon as he was home. 

True to his word Keith messaged him till Lance had fallen asleep. He remembered his first session and how drained it was as he faced up to what he had been running from for all those years. His over developed critical self and how little compassion he had for himself. The trust issues when it came to people, the abandonment issues and his anxiety. It had been hard but he had made it and was better for it. There was still the occasional slip or when he had a panic attack over the smallest thing but it was nowhere near as bad as it was when he was nineteen. Soon enough he fell into a restless sleep, dreading the full day ahead at the clinic. Pidge was finally getting on court, granted it was 6 in the evening but Keith was there to help them get used to the game so they didn’t fall flat on their face when their last two semesters started. They had been getting annoyed as the company they were working with didn’t belive that they had the better system and ignoring the blatant holes in their system. They needed a stress relief and Keith had offered to help them get used to squash.

“So you hold the racquet like so,” adjusting Pidge’s positioning, “and you keep your wrist locked, its not like badminton where you flick it. If you do that you can run the risk of damaging it.” He then ran through the motions, making sure they understood it was a full circle with the follow through. “Your speed here will be an advantage it’s a fast game, plus you’re lower to the ground so some shots will be a lot easier for you to get.” He got a friendly punch that he laughed off. No one called Pidge short and got away with it. They stepped back to let Keith warm up the ball, a yellow two dot ball no less, the one used by professional played. Well, they were screwed. Noticing their concern Keith reassured them,

“We always play with yellow two dots on club nights, it means its easier for you to get used it it quicker even if I need to smash it a lot to get it warm.” He gave them a friendly smile and the thwacks rang in the court. After a minute or two Keith was walking them through the straight drives, it wasn’t that hard to do but they were working on consistency rather than there the shot landed. 

They ended up training like that for the rest of the booked session, moving from forehand to backhand shots and was glad to see an improvement. When they had finished, they walked back to their street.

“Lance told us he’s in therapy. Is he holding up ok?” 

“I’m not sure, all I know is that his meds will be messing him up for at least another week and that he will hide it as best he can. And that I’ll be there for him as much as I can,” Keith said with as much conviction as he could muster, he knew that Pidge and Hunk will help but it didn’t stop them being worried. It had been four days since the session and Lance’s emotions were all over the place but despite it he was carrying on as normal, hiding it when he was at work. They were heading to Lance and Hunk’s for a movie night under the condition the two of them could have some time to shower, with Keith using the guy’s shower. 

“I’m worried. I’m scared that something is going to happen and one day he’ll just snap and no longer be able to bare it anymore. He’s practically my brother.”

“We know Lance and as long as we support him and try not to fix him, he’ll come to us. It may not be immediate and he may have break downs but we will be there for him, like his family is and how is friends in the states are.

“I know I haven’t known Lance as long as you but I know we would notice something. We’ll be in the clear mostly once the meds have settled and his body getting used to it. But the most we can do is be there and tonight I think he just needs a lot of love. His messages today were lacking in memes and apparently someone tried to return obviously worn boots and argues with him.” He pulled Pidge in for what was meant to be a reassuring hug but came of as awkward due to the sports bag he was carrying on his back. They parted at the top of the roads and entered the building, glad to be at the door considering he was carrying more than normal in his bag, and training racquets were a lot heavier at two hundred grams plus compared to his one hundred and fifteen.

Hunk opened the door and he was glad for the shower, he washed off all the sweat and tension that still lingered in his muscles. He reached for his towel and dried off then rummaged for his clothes. As he got dressed he realised he had no shirt. He sat on the toilet seat and messaged Lance

Mullet McMulletface: Lance  
Mullet McMulletface: I don’t have a shirt. Help please

Laughter followed nearly immediately after he had sent it, and a minute later there was a knock at the door. He unlocked the door and was glad to see Lance on the other side with a large grin and a shirt in hand. He gratefully took the shirt and promised to be out in a minute. He dragged his arse and bag out of the bathroom after hanging up the towel and went straight for Lance, embracing him on contact. Soon enough they migrated on to the sofa and put on Hot Fuzz and ended up as a cuddle pile with Lance at the centre.

Lance was grateful at the contact they gave him and easily melted into the pile, he had Hunk’s arm around his shoulders and Pidge was clinging to one of his legs and the made themselves comfy on the floor with a mass of cushions. Keith was at his side with his legs over Lance’s lap and head on his free shoulder and an arm across his waist. The last few days had been hard on him and though he didn’t say anything, they noticed and decided to show it to him in a way he would appreciate, by being there and caring. He was glad to have his friends and he hoped it would be the start of something better. He was stubborn at times and he would see this through and be better for it. They didn’t move when Pidge fell asleep, nor when Hunk did. Keith kissed his forehead again and got comfy in the crook oh is shoulder and snuggled up close with Lance’s arm around him. It wasn’t such a bad day after all.

During Lance’s lunch break the next day he saw his phone was lit up with messages, Nyma was having a small crisis apparently.  
Flipping Brilliant: OK WE HAVE A VENUE  
Flipping Brilliant: ITS GORGEOUS  
Flipping Brilliant: YOUE ARE BRINGING KEITH RIGHT  
Flipping Brilliant: YOU’D BOTH LOOK ADORABLE IN THE PHOTOS HERE BUT SO DO WE  
Flipping Brilliant: SENDING IMAGES NOW  
Flipping Brilliant: sent 10 photos  
Flipping Brilliant: LANCE  
Flipping Brilliant: YOU NEED TO HELP ME WITH THE DRESS  
Flipping Brilliant: I NEED YOUR EYES FOR DETAIL WHY YOU SO FAR AWAY  
Flipping Brilliant: FUCK YOU FOR CHOOSING AN ISLAND THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ATLANTIC  
Flipping Brilliant: Ok you’re probably busy but still I need your help  
Flipping Brilliant: OMG WE HAVE A DATE, WE HAVE A DATE.  
Flipping Brilliant: sent a video  
Sir Lancelotl: oooooooo looks pretty and when!!!!! Sorry been on the shop floor BUT WHEN I NEED THE DEETS.  
Flipping Brilliant: THANK YOU xxxxxx and the wedding’s the 10th of January, it’s here at home, we checked the dates of your uni so you have a week left till the end of you holidays.  
Flipping Brilliant: don’t say we don’t love you :D ;)  
Sir Lancelotl: ive got to go back on the shop floor then we will discuss detail when im home and have reliable wifi.  
Sir Lancelotl: sent an image  
Flipping Brilliant: Oh you poor poor soul. Have you asked keith yet?  
Sir Lancelotl: planning too  
Flipping Brilliant: LANCE  
Flipping Brilliant: you on the floor already?  
Flipping Brilliant: OMG WHY YOU LIKE THIS  
Flipping Brilliant: talk later xx

It was a slow day and few people came in, it was mostly teenagers preparing for their Bronze D of E expeditions, and were woefully under-prepared if the thought trainers were good footwear. Others came in for maps but otherwise it was uneventful. It gave him time to think about asking Keith about going over to the states, to his house even, for a wedding for people he barely knew. But he would ask, he had a physio session later on that afternoon and he knew Keith would be sitting in on it as a sports session rather than a rehabilitation one. 

The rest of the day passed and was glad when his shift was over, he was bored and replied to the messages he had missed on the bus to the clinic. 

Sir Lancelotl: I said im planning on it, give me some time why don’t ya. Ill be there anyway.  
Flipping Brilliant: ok, have fun xx

He then sent a message to his Mama with an update on the day and that he would be back home for some time over the Christmas holidays. He then sent a message to Keith. Sir Lancelotl: hey, cant wait to see you, on bus now. Also can we talk about something afterwards? Its nothing bad but its something that involves you.

Lance could already feel his stomach drop, knowing that text could insight panic, he hoped his reassurances were enough. The rest of the bus journey was him messaging Rosa with photos of the triplets as they became desperate to talk to their brother. They had gotten so big and he wasn’t there to see it. Waves of nostalgia flooded him of his time with Anna growing up and he hoped that she was giving them hell on his behalf. He got off at the stop and waited inside to be seen. The session itself went ok, but every time he looked at Keith his heart dropped lower towards the ground, maybe I should have rephrased that message better he thought. Keith looked scared, it was hidden but he was learning to read Keith better every day, he tried to smile in his direction to reassure him but they were never received. The hour dragged and he was glad when it was over, and he wasn’t going to lie about it either as the sports physio hurt again. He should be surprised it wasn't painful, the first of that kind of physio in a while. 

He waited outside while Keith presumably spoke with Allura in regard to the next few cases and to help with lock up and he was glad when Keith shot him a tentative smile. Lance opened his arms as a question and was even happier when it was reciprocated. 

“I’m so sorry if I scared you, I do want to talk about something but it isn’t me breaking up with you or starting an argument I promise, it’s something good I guess,”

“My anxiety got the better of me for a while, it’s no one’s fault.” He placed a kiss on his cheek and dragged Lance to his bike. They had planned a date for that evening and Lance was pleased to see Keith had claimed the shirt he had lent him as his own, it suited him too. It was one of his black and white baseball shirts and it didn’t hang too loosely and he could just about see the definition of Keith’s muscles. He was also wearing it for the date, Lance had changed after his session had ended and Keith must have too before lock up. Not that he was complaining, Keith looked good. 

They made their way into town and sat down for their dinner, it was semi-formal bar/restaurant and had managed to grab a corner booth so they could sit as close as they liked. They ordered their food and Lance saw his change to ask.

“So, you know when I had that video call from a friend in the states, she was proposing, remember?”

“Yeah?”

“She’s asked me to be the head of her Honour Squad… Hey! Why are you laughing?”

“Honour squad, it’s a great term I love it. But yes, go on,” even though Keith was struggling to keep a straight face, Lance continued.

“She wants me there in the states for it back home and she’s given me permission for a plus one. I’d like to take you.”

“Oh,”

“You don’t have to say yes or no right now you have time, I just thought it be good to ask now so you can think about it,” he was starting to ramble again and mentally kicked himself. He hadn’t even mentioned he’d be staying with his family and Keith was obviously shaken by this. Lance took his hand in reassurance and pulled him close. 

“Are you ok? Cos we can like leave if you want to.”

“I’ll be fine, just that nobody’s ever asked me anything like that. The closest was being someone’s moral support at a recital and that was Shiro.”

“I don’t want you there for moral support, I want you there as my boyfriend, my equal. Even if we’re in a relationship or not, I want you with me because you’re one of my closest friends regardless.”

Realisation dawned on Keith face with what Lance was saying. 

“I’ll consider it, if you don’t mind, but for what its worth, thank you for asking me. Even that means a lot,” he looked like he was going to say more but then the food arrived. Keith had found a restaurant that specialised in vegetarian dishes and was glad to see Lance’s face light up when he saw he could eat somewhere. Arus was his new favourite place to eat if only for the fact he could eat with Lance. He could have sworn Lances smile couldn’t get bigger but was proved wrong when his plate came out, the jacket potato he had ordered was massive, full of butter and an actual salad around the edges. Not the pathetic kinds he was probably used to. His own meal came shortly afterwards and it was just as good as Lance’s. 

He was doing his best to hide his inner turmoil and he wasn’t lying about the gravity of his request, as soon as Lance decided he need to use the loos, he furiously typed away to Shiro.

Mullet McMulletface: Shiro, I’m dead  
Mullet McMulletface: he’s asked me to go to a wedding with him  
Mullet McMulletface: in the states  
Mullet McMulletface: SHIRO  
Need A Hand: wot  
Need A Hand: we can talk about this at home.  
Need A Hand: enjoy the rest of your date you can thank me later.  
Mullet McMulletface: still dying by the way.

He put his phone away and smiled at his boyfriend, they had dessert and just talked about stupid things, and random stories about their siblings or shit that they got up to in school. It was nice to bask in each other knowing that in that moment they were the only thing on their minds. Once they were finished, they paid and left for Keith’s house as there was still time in the night to have a couple of rounds of guitar hero. 

The ride home was quiet and he loved how Lance still clung on to him for dear life even though it wasn’t needed but it was because Lance liked holding him. It was nice feeling Lance’s weight on his back and hearing the laughs that accompanied it. When they arrived home, they found Shiro in the kitchen and gave them a friendly smile and shoved them into the living room closing the door behind him. They tried to play games and ended up failing miserably, neither of their hearts were in it and settled for cuddling on the sofa, Lance had been letting Keith decide the boundaries for himself and never pressed against them and he was grateful but tonight he wanted more, but he had to tell Lance. He was safely encased in Lance’s arms when he spoke.

“Lance, I’m asexual and very sex repulsed but this doesn’t change the way I feel about you. I fell for your personality, how you light up the room by being there, how strong you are even when you don’t see it. I’m still falling.” He braced himself for rejection and was glad that Shiro was home so that if the worst didn’t happen, he could let it out and move on. But he trusted Lance, and trusted him to not throw that back at him.

“Thank you for telling me Hun, and its fine. It’s who you are and I don’t care if that’s the case or if you change your mind and decide to be a hermit and live in the desert. I like you for who you are and that’s part of who you are. You’re gorgeous as you are so don’t go changing that.” Lance kissed his nose and held his face close, close enough that their foreheads were touching. 

“Can I?” Keith asked and when Lance nodded, he cupped his face and closed the distance between them. Their lips touched and started to move against each other, working out how they fit together. It was slow but full of meaning and though it wasn’t the best first kiss in the world it meant everything to the both of them, and it was broken by Keith laughing. 

“Let me gain some composure, cos I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“The let me show you, may I?”

“Of course.” Their lips came back together once more and Keith could have sworn he knew what bliss truly was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to continue this but its more for me than anyone else rn, but it really does make me happy knowing people read and enjoy this. 
> 
> I've also started another fic, actually set in the voltron universe and its angsty, [The Storm Or The Stars](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10931886/chapters/24318675)
> 
>  
> 
> [I'm also on tumblr!!!](https://theshadowsandsilhouettes.tumblr.com/)


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